My husband has 4 kids from marriage #1. I'm 12 yrs younger 1st marriage no kids. He/They come from an impoverished country so I agreed to sponsor his children to come to live here. 3 yrs of paperwork, attorneys and mtgs with INS and they were finally approved arriving in the US on 05/06. Ages 14, 18 and 21 are all male & a 10 yr old girl. Due to the language barrier we decided 2 yrs ago that he wld handle discipline/behavioral issues. For yrs he said, “American kids are disrespectful of adults, spoiled & lazy. My kids are nice & well-behaved.” He said to let him know ASAP of any/all problems and he'd “handle them immediately”. Well these kids are mannerless, manipulative, interrupt CONSTANTLY, questi. everything I say, give me silent treatmts. over having homework, talk over me in French & expect to be waited on by me--Just a FEW examples. If I tell my husb. he says, "You are lying!" or "I can't do anything about it!" He refuses counseling & I have no $$ to leave. Suggestions please?
2006-09-06 23:25:34 · 8 answers · asked by Kaitlyn 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I am sorry to say there is not much you can do. Are you two married now? Throw them out. I don't know how the laws work on this , but I would not leave my home. I would find me a legal aid lawyer, or if you have the money hire a lawyer to throw this people out. You have a good heart but you took in too much. Best of luck.
2006-09-07 00:31:17 · answer #1 · answered by Boricua Born 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first I wouldn't care of they are step children if they misbehave you punish them don't wait for him to do it. because evidently you are lying about everything you have to punish them when they do the deed. If the children are 21 and 18 they can fend for themselves now and do they not go to collage do they have jobs any thing like that. they are living in your house not you living in theres. You are in control of them not them in control of you. I know some one who was married here so he could bring his EX wife and children to the USA stayed married 7 years and then left his American wife to be with his real wife from where he is from . They are citizens after that and then they don't need YOU ne more. So be very careful. They lie cheat and steal. so be careful once again...
2006-09-07 03:12:57 · answer #2 · answered by Nena 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It really hard being the step parent(and your outnumbered). Their trying to hurt you and hard as it is you must not give them ANY justification for thier bad behavior. It's ok for you to set ground rules , your his wife and his partner.Remind him of this. Compare his kid's behavior with those "out of control" american kids to him (lol). Ask him if this would be tolerated back in the "old' country. It''s all about respect. Those kids are trying to pigeon hole you into being the "wicked" stepmom....don't play.
2006-09-06 23:36:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a step-parent, you can't be expected to discipline them. At the same time he is caught in a very difficult situation; he hasn't been living with them and maybe they changed. He needs to listen to you and talk to his kids about respect.
2006-09-07 02:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by Sofia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a scam. He just wanted to move his family to a better country so he sweet talked you into buying his line. If he truly cared he would support you and lay down the law with his kids. Get divorced quickly.
2006-09-06 23:36:16 · answer #5 · answered by DogbertCarroll 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
this man oviousley is not in love with you he just wanted you so that he and his rotten kids could live in the USA we have the same thing in London all thay want is a passport into our home land get rid of them as soon as poss things will NOT get any better for you go to the passport office and tell them that you have madea mistake i wish you luck
2006-09-07 00:24:31 · answer #6 · answered by Bella 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Many cities offer womens shelters, or other cheap/free resources for women. I would maybe suggest going to get consouling on your own. It can help a lot.
2006-09-06 23:28:54 · answer #7 · answered by Little Miss confused 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go for legal counseling, may be that would help, if you want to get a divorce. If you want to give it one more try, go to a counselor may be that would help.
2006-09-06 23:41:26 · answer #8 · answered by Babe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋