Why do people so rarely hold the door open for the next person?

Question

I am not saying that nonbody does it anymore, as I certainly do it. It is just becoming more apparent that people are not doing so.

Answer 1

I always hold the door open irrelevant of who is coming in/out behind me or hold the door and let people in first. I did it for a guy going into a shop once and he was utterly stunned - he said he'd never in his life had a women hold a door open for him - I thought that was sad. I think a lot of people have become so self obsessed and believe so much in their own self importance they don't spare a thought for anyone else.

But I think the next time it happens to you remember this story (and maybe use it) an elderly man a friend of mine knows is an utter gent very polite, courteous etc and always holds the door for people. He did this one day for a women with a buggy who just breezed through like it was her right without so much as a nod his way, so he said "Sorry?" and she looked at him and said "What? I didn't say anything" to which he replied "oh my mistake, I thought you said thank you".

Answer 2

I was an adolescent during the "women's lib" movement of the late 60's and the 70's. The feminists made such a fuss about "I can open the door thank you, I don't need a MAN to do it for me" that a lot of things that were simple courtesy became "not done" because they were held up to ridicule, esp. in US sitcoms like "All in the Family" and others. (I grew up there, how well I remember seeing it.)
So people stopped teaching their kids to hold doors and be helpful generally. I'm a woman, will still hold a door for someone if I see that they are carrying heavy parcels, or are elderly, disabled or like that.
I was also taught to call people "Sir" and "Ma'am" or "Miss" as a token of respect (teachers, bosses, friends of my parents etc.) but by highschool I was being told "Don't do that, I don't like it." I guess it made them feel old or something.

Answer 3

Firstly.. I think people are just too occupied with their own thoughts and problems to think of it, and secondly, I don't think parents are teaching their kids that it's a nice thing to do.

I know that when I go to the mall, I'm usually in a rush.. I have so much to do and so much to think about that holding the door open for the next person is often an afterthought. I do it though.. even with babies in tow.. because I know that it's nice, and I appreciate it when other people hold the door for me.

Answer 4

I live in Canada. I very rarely see anyone fail to hold the door for the next person. If they do, they get a look and usually apologize right away, after which the person who did not have the door held for them usually says, "It's ok, it's my fault, it took forever to get to the door, sorry." And it goes on like this until it's sort of like Chip and Dale.

Anyone who has a door held open for them says thank you or gets the abovementioned LOOK., after which they feel bad and make a point of thanking the door holder before they leave the store or whatever.

I love Canada, I really do.

Answer 5

Two answers on this I think, women wanted equal rights which they got, which means that men have been undermined and lost all the qualities that they were taught when they were younger and possibly ignorance on the part of the person who doesnt hold the door open and ignorance on the person who goes thru a door that has been held open for them, not saying thank you!! It's a vicious circle..

Answer 6

I don't know why.
I hold the door open or open it first even for the guys. They always do it for me too, except one time, I was getting out of a bank and these two gay guys were coming in, and they reached before me, I thought they'd hold the door but they didn't and let the door go and the door came fast swinging back at me. Bast@rds!

Answer 7

Parents and society itself have flat out forgotten the meaning of teaching and valuing good manners. Like you I hold doors open for men and women alike because I was raised in a time when good manners were second only to love of God.

Answer 8

I am from the South and I certainly do hold the door for the person who is behind me whether they are male or female. It was the way I was raised.

Answer 9

In todays day and age courtesy has been put on the back burner due to everyones excessive stress and work load. People are just too busy or have too many problems to be nice. What people don't realize is that if we don't learn to be nice to each other our problems will just keep getting worse and worse.

Answer 10

That really grinds my beans too! It's piggin rude and something I'm teaching my kids to respect. The answer to the question is that it's all in the parenting - everytime. Kids are just a product of what they've been taught and exposed to. BRING BACK THE BIRCH FOR NON-DOOR-HOLDERERS!!!!