my older brother died when i was 8 years old...i was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience, and do you ever wonder what your life would have been like, had they lived?
sometimes i get really angry, because i feel as if he left me to "fend" for myself in our messed up family.
2006-09-06 22:57:17 · 18 answers · asked by canada grl 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
if anyone wants to get rid of idiots like zippy r from answering questions meant for grown ups...please report this twonk.
2006-09-09 04:58:14 · update #1
my brother died in front of me whilst we were in the falklands and i saw it all without being able to do anything about it, this left me feeling mortified as i was also the nco responsible for him being there, i went through all the feelings you have been through and loads more even being angry because he died and blaming him, i still feel the same but have had to try to get on with life, you can never forget your brother, and it is very easy for people, even me to say just get on with your life, but no matter what we never can can we, i sometimes find it useful to visit his grave and talk to him and have lost my temper with him a number of times and it helps to get the tension out, try this or, try to talk with someone not connected with your family, its ver tough and you will live a good life as he will always be with you, take care ok!
2006-09-07 07:50:45 · answer #1 · answered by mentor 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My oldest brother died 6 years ago. I miss him...and I wonder some of the same things. Would things have been different? At first when he passed it brought the whole family back together. Even some family members who were doing there own thing and didn't speak to us but only lived like 15 minutes away from us! Of my 2 older brothers, he is the one we all really like. The other one is flaky. Things would be so very different at holidays and during the summer time. Sadly, his widow got remarried within that year...so maybe his death was for her. Who knows. He was killed in an accident, and sometimes I just think he is better off because his life/marriage would have probably starting falling apart. Death is hard to accept. We are left with questions and more questions, and guilt, pain, emptiness. It's a time for strength. And if your brother was around your family life probably wouldn't have been any easier. I am sorry you have to go through this. Just keep a stiff upper lip and l always defend and fight for what you believe in.
2006-09-07 06:45:22 · answer #2 · answered by Erica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I have. My older brother died when he was 28 and I was 21.. about 17 years ago.
It changed the remaining members of my family beyond belief. He was big character in the family, very generous, and when he died, our family financial situation took a massive nose dive.
I often think if he had been here over the last 17 yrs I would not have gone out with the Idiots that I have done, and I would not have been treated so badly by people. Why? Because he would have said to me "get rid of them. they are no good" Or better still, punched anyone in the nose for upsetting me. I miss him every day, not one day goes by that I dont think of him or wonder "what would he do in this situation" He was my mums first born son. The big brother.
You do have to fend for yourself anyway sweetheart. Life is what YOU make it.
You will be a stronger more caring person for what you have experienced
2006-09-07 06:10:06 · answer #3 · answered by Harley D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My brother just died 3 weeks ago. So I am coming to terms with his death, Unlike you I had him in my life as a child and as an adult. He died at age 37. He had an operation on his knee and died from a blood clot 3 days later. I will forever wonder what it would have been like for him to grow old and to live out the rest of his life. As for feeling angry that your brother has left you to fend for yourself is a part of grief. If you are having family difficulties there are alot of places that you can go for help. Try speaking to friends or other family memebers, aunt's, unckles and the like. All families are difficult and do have problems, it's how they deal with them that counts.
2006-09-07 06:37:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not in your way. My mother did have 3 miscarriages. All 3 were boys. I have a younger sister.
Wonder what life would have been like with a family of 5 kids?
Something to think about.
Would life had been easier, harder?
Would we have gotten along better as a family?
As my parents age, would 5 vs 2 be easier to convince our parents what is RIGHT medically for their aging years?
2006-09-07 06:05:33 · answer #5 · answered by jennifersuem 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
20yrs ago my older sister passed away and now the eldest sister has died just a few weeks ago. I am fortunate to have two remaining older sisters albeit one of them in a nursing home.I do despair that the time Willl come when I wil be the only one left.
2006-09-09 11:27:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In away yes I was 4 1/2 months pregnant, I sometimes wonder what he would of been like , I wouldn't say I get angry jusy sad for me
2006-09-08 14:10:17 · answer #7 · answered by jazzie_jue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had that experience my little brother died when he was 6 weeks old i was 8 at the time i feel really hurt when it comes to his birthday and Christmas and stuff like that i wonder what he would be like now if he was still alive now
2006-09-07 10:50:01 · answer #8 · answered by becky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes my older brother died before I was born. He got drunk and drove his car into the mississippi river. Another older brother died this year from kidney failure from years of drug and alcohol abuse. Messed up family huh? I hear ya there. Mine is so messed up it should have been on Jerry Springer lol
2006-09-07 06:04:01 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your brother,
I haven't lost a sibling thankgod, but two years ago i lost my cousin through drugs, my other cousin (his sister) was murdered and my best friend drowned all in the same year so i know it's hard to lose ppl you care about.
2006-09-09 08:09:48 · answer #10 · answered by missy minx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋