My partner took 6 months off work at the beggining of january as our daughter was very sick in may he was offered a position at the same place as my mum which he took 5 weeks after starting he was offered the position of assistant manager my mum was really pleased at first then she decided to apply for the position they both had interviews and he got the job as he had more retail and IT experience since then my mum has been really nasty she rings me up and complains about him calling him names she has told the manager she wont take orders from him and i'm afraid she is going to sabbotage his chances of moving up any further if she had the job i would have felt a bit gutted but been pleased for her but she can't do this I dont even think it's about money as she has her and my dads wages and has a bought home we have 5 kids and sure;ly she should be pleased her grandchildren are getting a better quality of life can anyone give me any advice?
2006-09-06 21:42:51 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm sorry for not using punctuation ,I was in a rush and very stressed.
2006-09-06 21:55:09 · update #1
Its as plain as the nose on your face, your mother is jealous and feels inadequate to a certain degree, that she was not chosen for the position, she cannot handle the fact that the better person was chosen with the most experience, she won't let it drop until she gets an apology from what I can gather she’s a very stubborn snotty nosed woman especially where your partner's concerned.
I would recommend you go see her and bring the kids with you, let her see the reality of the situation (the kids) be straight and to the point that your not willing to put up with her childish ways which are cause for concern where your partners job is concerned!
Tell her she should get over it or it will cause a rift in the family and if she continues to do it, you won't call around with the kids anymore, also let her know that she could possibly get your partner into serious trouble in work by ignoring his orders in the workplace!
Also have a word with your dad and explain the situation, let him know how it is making you and your partner miserable and causing heartache, maybe he could have a few words with her and tell her to stop acting like a spoilt child who didn't get her way for once!
2006-09-06 22:13:25 · answer #1 · answered by celtic_colieen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try and explain why your partner is more qualified but the best thing to do is let her know work and family are not supposed to be intermixed. The decision by the firm to give him the job was not hers to challenge. In reality she is probably hurting herself more than him. You need to insure him that what happens there stays there. Do not mettle in work politics. He is a grown man and part of moving up the ladder involves dealing with adverse situations. The ability to cope with problems is a big factor in promoting people.
2006-09-07 04:48:03 · answer #2 · answered by hardnose 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it! It's really got nothing to do with you. Refuse to discuss work with her. Your partner can deal with it at work. She's being selfish - why did you apply for the job in the first place if she knew your partner had applied for it.
I hope in time she sees your point of view. You're on the higher moral ground. Ignore her tantrums. She's more likely to get fired because of her behaviour - which will serve her right.
2006-09-07 05:35:28 · answer #3 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly this sort of problem arises all too often when people try to mix family and work relationships. Your mother needs to accept that your partner has the authority within the workplace and if she cannot respect this she should look for another job.
2006-09-07 04:51:22 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is extremely selfish. The first thing that you need to do is stop accepting her calls. She should be told that she needs to respect you and your husband and that if she can't, she is not allowed to call your home. She also needs to know that her behavior is very immature and that this immaturity proved that she was not ready to move ahead in the job. If your husband is having problems with her at work, he needs to maintain his professional distance and document all acts of professionalism and insubordination. This way, he will protect himself and she'll be the one out of a job.
2006-09-07 04:50:25 · answer #5 · answered by mad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is being very selfish and petty. I think you should sit your mother down and explain to her how it means a lot to you and your family for her to be happy for your husband. It's just plain jealousy - surely your husband's boss will realise this. If he's the right person for the job his position will not be jeopardised by this immature and selfish woman. Be firm with her - tell her it's important for your 5 children to grow up financially secure, and make sure she realises that you will not stand for it.
2006-09-07 04:55:01 · answer #6 · answered by pinklady23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you .It sounds like your mother is a very jealous,insecure women ( maybe she is in the menopause ), You will have to tell her that she is spoiling the relationship with her family !
Could you talk to your Dad ? Maybe he can put her straight !
I feel that your mother should look for another job if she is not happy working with your husband !
Also your husband should put his superiors right about the problems his mother-in -law is giving him ,if she doesn't stop
her childish behaviour. The company was obviously right in not giving her the job as she is N O T management material ! Good
Luck for our family !
2006-09-07 05:04:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to meet with your mother and tell her that you are worried that shes jeprodising your partners position - explain to her that you have 5 kids to look after and if he looses his job due to her catiness - what are ye supposed to do then?
Explain that hes working to provide for you and your kids and that her comments and spitefulness are not appreciated - really she sounds like a very immature woman and maybe when you spell it out for her she may realise what she IS doing and if she cares about you and her grand children Im sure she'll stop it
2006-09-07 04:47:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your Mother is placing herself in a very dangerous position. Since your Partner has won promotion to the position of Asst Manager, he is entitled to issue instructions to your Mother. If she refuses to carry out those instructions - irrespective of whether she approves of them or not, she could face dismissal for "refusing to obey a lawful instruction".
You must talk to your mother and point this out to her and tell her that her petty jealousy is ridiculous and she should grow up.
2006-09-07 05:08:17 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if anything it will be her that loses her job not your partner. as long as he acts calmy and professionally with the matter he might even come out of it looking better. he must have an immediate superior he can talk to and they could sit down and talk to her together. my company never employs people that are related to each other and it shows it can be a sensible thing to do
2006-09-07 05:02:06 · answer #10 · answered by rachel d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋