Well.... I am a divorced mother of 2. My 2nd husband and I divorced last August. I moved in with my parents and I am still living there. My brother passed away in a tragic accident june 2003. We were the only 2 siblings. To make a long story short.... my parents insist that i stay with them. I feel like I need to move and get on with my life. I have a boyfriend of a different race that I know my father does not care to much about me seeing... He was my first boyfriend like 20 yrs ago... Anyway they always make me feel guilty when I try to move. Any advise on what I should do? They struggle financially and i help them a great deal. How can I move out without feeling guilty?? I need a life...
2006-09-06 21:03:11 · 19 answers · asked by princess 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just explain to them that you need your space, if you have 2 children then they are going to find they need space too, once you ecplain to them they should back off dont feel guilty you have done nothing wrong. its not there choice where you live and who you see. show them you still care but just need your own life
2006-09-06 21:09:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's easy to feel like a five year old with your parents no matter how old you are. However, you are not. Yes they're afraid of losing you, too, but be the adult, be the parent to your kids, and move along with your life. It's not far from moving out for the first time.
Muster up some courage on behalf of your kids, and I wish only the best for you!
2006-09-06 23:54:37 · answer #2 · answered by c_a_m_2u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell them that you love them very much but you feel it is in the best interest of your children and yourself that you get a place of your own. Offer to help them get financial assistance from your state or any other agency that may be able to help. Also ask them to go to family counseling with you, it seems like you all need some help moving past your brother's death.
Good Luck.
2006-09-06 22:41:51 · answer #3 · answered by babydoll121070 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing you should do is let your parents know how much you love them and care about them. Make a plan as to when you are going to visit them, and stick to the plan. Like once a week on Satuday or Sunday, or 3 times a week for dinner.
Maybe your parents can watch your kids once or twice a week, and maybe even sleep over there house.
Let your parents come to visit you in your home. Make them see how much better it is going to be for you and them. Doing things in a positive way is aways better.
2006-09-06 21:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by jm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents are struggling financially right? of course they do want you around but i think the main thing here is the financial help u give them when u are with them. they are scared that if u move, they are bac at zero, struggling even more. find a place near them, tell then u will take responsiblity of either their water/electricity bills and food/groceries. thats their main worry. to ease the guilt, visit them every weekend till u dont feel the guilt anymore.
2006-09-06 21:14:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't please everyone all the time. And sometimes you have to put yourself in front of others. People will occationally (or rather often, actually) make unreasonable wishes or demands of you. That doesn't mean you have to fulfill them.
You have already decided that you want to move out. Your parents want you to stay. Is that a reasonable wish (or demand)? Should you feel guilty for moving out anyway?
You must work with yourself. Sometimes being a bad girl is a good thing!
2006-09-06 21:11:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
What is best for your children? If that is what you're doing then a little guilt is a small price to pay. You apparently aren't planning to leave the area. Don't you intend to continue your relationship with your parents? I'm sorry about your brother but you can only fill your own place in their lives not his.
2006-09-06 21:13:00 · answer #7 · answered by Neeta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because they are struggling that is why they need you financially. i hope not. Why don't you sit down and talk w/ them. Maybe also because they love your 2 children so much that they don't want you to leave. Also using you for the loss of your brother.
you do need to tell them that you are moving out and will be there for them whenever possible.. Maybe move close to them. Make sure you have locks....
2006-09-06 21:15:42 · answer #8 · answered by always 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm the mom in the same situation. I tell my daughter when she decides to move to stay near so I know she and the grandbabies are ok and if they need me I can be there for them. That may be a good idea for you. I wish you the best and be happy for yourself
2006-09-08 03:14:07 · answer #9 · answered by redbaroness59 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say sneak out, but you are an adult. They are clinging on to what they have and don't want to loose you too. maybe getting something in walking distance to their house might make them feel a little more secure and you could check on them every so often. Then as time goes by you could start to move further away, without making it obvious.
2006-09-06 21:10:13 · answer #10 · answered by really???? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋