How should a relationship evolve?

Question

when dating somebody new, to ensure best chances of long term compatability.

Answer 1

Attention, attention, attention. Each partner should pay attention to what the other likes and loves and hates and despises and try to offer as much appropriate reactions to those as his/her own character allows. And you have to keep up the attention on who the other person is always. I mean, there can be slips when you are under project deadline - then you can go slack for a day, or even a week, but no longer - you need to catch up, and know exactly who the other person is.

For example, most people tend to believe that what they like, their partner likes too. Which is not the case (e.g., I prefer being told the truth, even if I don't like it; while my ex-boyfirend prefers that things that are likely to hurt him should be kept secret from him - not that knowing that from the start would have saved the relationship, but it could have saved both of us some very unpleasant periods).

By paying attention to your partner, you get to know them. By knowing your partner, you know what they need, what the want, and what is merely a whim - and can act accordingly.

But it has to happen from both sides, single-sided things in relationships don't work. Neither attention, nor compromise, love, understanding, (those are also necessary elements of a good, stable relationship) or anything else, should be one-sided. The load MUST be shared, otherwise one partner or the other will eventually crumble away.

Answer 2

Not sounding terribly trite, you should always be aware of the fact that there are some compatibilities that you cannot fix: some people call it chemistry, some call it biology, some call it mental state. But some times there are things that will happen in a relationship that you will not be able to control or direct.

As to helping a relationship evolve, I think that the key to a good relationship is communication. If you have open channels of communication (not just talking) with your partner, trust and love will grow from it.

Part of it is being sensitive enough to the other person’s needs, but knowing what your boundaries are. In other words, you need to be willing to make sacrifices, but not at your personal expense. You need to know yourself enough not to give up things that are crucial for your very own wellbeing (this, of course, changes greatly from one person to another).

Good luck (and good love!)

Answer 3

My advice is to communicate with that person. Explain your likes/dislikes - what cheeses you off etc. Of course, you do this whilst your out having dinner, or simply walking through the park. Ask him the same? Remember what he/she has told you, it goes a long way when your significant other remembers. This will assist the growth or bonding in your life. And, one more thing. Always be there for each other. Always.

Love to you all

Answer 4

Don't move things too fast. Allow each other to open up at your own pace. And most importantly, don't pretend to be something/someone you are not. Once you get into the swing of things, you just can't go back.

Answer 5

Respectfully.

Answer 6

take your time - be honest from the offset - hold mutual respect and talk! Take time out to get to know each other without crowding each other

Answer 7

Trust not indifference

Answer 8

Slowly....