A friend told me that my fiance's ex-gf Laura is complaining because we have not invited her to our wedding (she is apparently waiting on her invite). Apparently, since we are all getting along now, she feels that she is "part of the family" and deserves to go. Also, she says that she wants to see her and my fiance's son all decked out (he's the ringbearer).
However, we were not invited to her wedding almost a year ago, and I am NOT going to feel comfortable with her at my wedding, as it is a day about myself and my fiance and the new life that we are starting together.
We have already told her that she will be getting a picture of Johnny (her son, my will-be stepson) as the ringbearer.
Laura has not said anything yet to us about going to the wedding, but how do I tell her that she can't come in a way that won't start any drama?
2006-09-06 20:07:58 · 21 answers · asked by Bachman-ette 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
There is no problem here. The way I see it, its very simple...
Its your wedding, you invite or don't invite whomever you want to. Its about your "special day" and what makes you feel comfortable and happy.
Sod her. If you don't want her there, be honest and tell her so. You can't go through this life treading on eggshells...you need to stand up for what you want or else you will die unhappy and unsatisfied.
2006-09-06 20:11:56 · answer #1 · answered by gromitski 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's YOUR wedding, so what you say goes, its your special day. You have said you will give her a picture of her son as ringbearer so that will have to be good enough. I agree with you- it would probably be uncomfortable to have an ex at your wedding... you guys are sharing vows for a happy future together and you don't need her there, harboring any feelings. Don't cave. Don't send her an invite. If she asks about it, say "well we are limited to seating so we are only inviting family and a few close friends, but dont worry, I will see to it that you get a picture of your son! Thanks so much for letting him be a part of our special day." That is polite, but straightforward. And if the moron still shows up for your wedding, don't let it ruin your day. Best wishes to you and your husband.
2006-09-06 22:47:20 · answer #2 · answered by sarah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I basically might throw that invitation in the garbage once I gained it. it may well be basically an exceedingly awkward concern , plus are you able to think of how the bride might experience if her quickly to be husband's ex fiance confirmed up at their wedding ceremony? She'll be questioning of the undeniable fact that at one factor her fiance became into making plans to spend the the remainder of his life with somebody else. Granted, anybody has their previous yet it is the place it is going to proceed to be:in the previous. it does not be a relaxing concern for anybody in touch. Why might he be inviting you to his wedding ceremony in any case? That basically seems extraordinary to me.
2016-10-14 10:04:34 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your fiance and tell him that you are really uncomfortable with this. Don't risk creating drama on your wedding day, or inviting anyone that might ruin it or even cast a shadow on the day. She has no business coming to your wedding. Do send her a picture of her son. But your wedding day is about you and your fiance. She is not involved in his life anymore.
2006-09-07 04:24:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would leave it up to your fiancee to tell her that she's not coming... after all it is his ex! You are under no obligation to invite her and I would definitely feel uncomfortable as well. Just let her know that while you may be friends now, you are not comfortable sharing this intimate event in your life and that you will take a plenty of pictures to share with her. Any normal person will completely understand. Good luck!
2006-09-06 20:17:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is entirely up to you and your fiance who you do or do not invite to your Wedding.
I personally believe it would be totally inappropriate for your fiance’s ex to be invited.
Your fiance is marrying you, and it wouldn’t be appropriate for her to be at the Wedding, reminding him of what could have been. I am inclined to think that her being at the Wedding would only lead to trouble.
Perhaps you could explain to her, that whilst you like her as a friend, you would just feel ‘most uncomfortable’ with her being there. You and your fiance will be starting a new life as husband and wife, and having his ex-lover present, just isn’t acceptable.
You could perhaps invite her to go to your home prior to the Wedding so that she can see her son all dressed up.
I hope it all works out for you.
All the very best to you and your husband-to-be !!!
2006-09-06 20:12:49 · answer #6 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You don't need to tell her that she can't come -- no invitation means no coming to the wedding.
Your fiance may want to speak to his ex-gf and assure her that she will get pictures of their son at his wedding. Other than that, you don't owe anyone anything.
2006-09-06 20:10:01 · answer #7 · answered by kja63 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well, since she has not said anything, then I would not worry. If she says anything, then you can say, we are taping it and will give you one too. The wedding is just for our family, and hope you understand. That will shut her up, but so far, if she has not said anything, just let it go and perhaps she never will. Who is to say that the friend of a friend, etc., was on the level anyway. Don't jump the gun....
2006-09-06 22:11:47 · answer #8 · answered by shardf 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just let her know very honestly that you are uncomfortable about it and that you both promised each other no x's at the wedding. She will politely say she understands but will probably continue whining about it behind your back!
So what- you'll get your way and she can never confront you about it because you were honest. I find that most people are sickenly sweet when you bring on the honesty!
Whatever you do- don't give in! This is your day- your wishes. Don't do this for her- you'll regret it everytime you look at your wedding pictures!
2006-09-06 20:16:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's your day, and you should enjoy it. If seeing Laura would make you uncomfortable, why not let her know. Send her the picture and say, "Sorry we could not invite you, but we had to cut down on our invitation list. I'm sorry. I hope you like this picture."
Tell her ahead of time too, that you had to cut down on your list.
2006-09-06 20:11:10 · answer #10 · answered by misty_blue2u 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋