I have been married for 28 years, out of those 28 years i would say that first 10 were good, so after that i call it one way traffic, my ex change a lot, she start to treat me & three girls like ****, yelling, cursing at averything, controlling,nothing was good enough, she always had something to grumple about, so having three gilrs, bills to pay (morgage), i stay with her for nother 18 years, (having to pay maintenance for three girls & my bills my income is not big enough to cover all those even that i work seven day roster three shifts full time) so thats the one of the reason that i stay with the family for nother 18 years, first to get my girls trough education, so i left three years a go & i am still having that feeling that we together, i need to know how do i move on with my life cause that together feeling is stopping me. how long does take to get over broken marriage?
2006-09-06 18:42:34 · 15 answers · asked by rascal_5353 1 in Health ➔ General Health Care ➔ Pain & Pain Management
You have more patience and tolerance than a lot of people have, me included!!! I don't know whether to congratulate you on holding your family together or say shame on you for allowing your life to go on as it did for so long and raising your children in a loveless relationship, can't say marriage because that's not what is was in reality, only on paper. Hopefully your children have not been affected by the bad example set by your wife and you on how a relationship does NOT work. I certainly do not believe in the "Till death us do part" bit of the marriage vows as I do believe that our loving Heavenly Father meant us to be in loving relationships with mutual respect. This you did not have. BUT!! No going back now. At least you are out. Time to hold your head up high and get on with the rest of your life. Meet people, get involved, church, volunteer work, social events at work, even dog walking! Just get yourself around emotionally healthy people and start living a real life!! I wish you all the best for a future relationship with someone that can really appreciate what great qualities you have. Good Luck and God Bless.
Can't agree with mustang. Depends on the depth of your feelings for the person you have been involved with not the length of time.
2006-09-07 03:18:01 · answer #1 · answered by sinned 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-05 16:44:06 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your story sounds a lot like mine. I have been married for 18 years the first 10 were fairly good however for the last 8 we have been living like parents not partners and it hasn't been a physical relationship. Other than our children we live separate lives, but I can't seem to break up completely - it is like I would be wrecking our family. Life in limbo land is certainly not the best. Good luck with the future.
2006-09-06 18:51:44 · answer #3 · answered by haveago 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please get out NOW. I have been with the same man for over 38 years he have been verbally abusive since year one. Putting me down and blaming me for everything that goes wrong.If we get lost on a trip, if supper isn't done on time,if the meat isn't salted enough etc etc etc. If our wonderful three children do something he does not like its because of the way I raised them . Last year he gave me HPV ,then came cancer and a hysterectomy. Guess what my fault..if I would have gone to bed at the same time he did he would have stayed faithful. I hate myself I have no insurance and can't get out. I am disabled because of all this. Please don't waste the life God has given you.Look in the mirror , time waits for no one. Some people just won't accept unconditional love. They have a cold rock for a heart.
2006-09-06 19:02:10 · answer #4 · answered by Lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You lived one way for a long time. When we live one way for a long time our minds kind of set up a "background thing" where, no matter what is going on "on the surface" (which could be major changes in our life style) our minds are in the habit of still keeping that old "background thing". For example, when I took care of my mother who was bedridden before she died I got into a "taking care of mode" and a "worrying about" mode. When she died I discovered I was still operating on the "taking care of mode" and "worrying about" mode but I had nothing in particular to be worrying about or taking care of because she was gone.
When I realized this I consciously made the decision to tell myself to get out of the old, background modes and realize that I was now freer than I had been.
Try starting by thinking about all the things you used to have to do or worry about or think about that now you don't. Take a look at your new life and new future and new freedoms and consciously think about any burdens you no longer have. You have to figure out the differences between the "old mode" and the new "mode" that you should now be in, and keep reminding yourself of those.
If you get your mind to reorganize how it sees you and what you need to do or think about or worry about your emotions will fall in line.
I don't know if what I've said makes sense to you. Maybe I haven't explained it very well. Hope I did, though, because this conscious process of reoganizing and finding a new "mode" is the thing that will get you over your past.
2006-09-06 19:05:43 · answer #5 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you started to leave the relationship 18 years ago (as well you should have) I can sympathize with the money thing... I hear that loud and clear..... it will take a while... you might want to spend some time alone and get yourself collected and get rid of some bad habbits that you ex may have pounded into your head. Then start wading into the pool of singlehood.... and start dating again if you so choose.....
good luck
2006-09-06 18:49:35 · answer #6 · answered by pro_steering_wheel_holder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes as long as you let it take. As soon as you are willing to let go and start living your life like you want too and dating other women then slowly but surely you will get over her and move on with your life. It is hard but anything worth having is hard to get. I hope this helped you.
2006-09-06 18:51:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find the quicker u get a new chick into your bed the pain goes away.
I always find one day does it for me.
2006-09-06 19:05:14 · answer #8 · answered by aussie fallen angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE BUT YOU DO GET OVER IT...
THE HARDEST PART IS EXCEPTING THAT IT IS OVER AND GETTING YOURSELF OUT THE DOOR.
ONCE YOUR THERE EVERYTHING BEGINS TO FALL INTO PLACE...
BACK IN THE DAY WE WERE TAUGHT THAT MARRIAGE WAS TILL DEATH DO YOU PART.
STICKING THROUGH THE HARD TIMES BUT I DON'T THINK IT WAS INTENDED TO MEAN THROUGH HELL AND MENTAL OR PHYSICAL ABUSE...(I"M SPEAKING IN GENERAL)
SOME TIMES WE JUST HAVE TO LET GO...START AGAIN.
IT IS OK..
LIFE IS TO SHORT TO BE UNHAPPY...
SAYING IN RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE YOUR USE TO IT IS NO REASON TO STAY...
FIND HAPPINESS...IT IS OUT THERE ...
2006-09-06 18:54:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay busy.
It will pass.
Wish it was quick as hanging up the phone.
2006-09-06 18:44:25 · answer #10 · answered by Lucy Lu 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋