I have a 12 yo daughter. Her breats have developed to the point she clearly needs a bra nad she's been wearing one for 2 months. The girl doesn't like, says they are uncomfortable and makes her sweat when it's hot. But since she really needs a bra, I've been firm, though with much love. I spent several hours heling her choose her bras and yet she didn't like any of them. I'm a very undersdtanding and loving mom, but on this point I had to use my motherly authority. Today I got to know my girl didn't obey and she ended up admitting severl times she took off her bra and put it on again before getting home. She's a very good girl and usually obedient, I don't think this was anything bad, I see this as something childish, But anyway, she shouldn't take off her bra without authorization.
Do you think I'm being a good mom for making her wear a bra though she doen't like it? I'm sure it's for her best
Do you she should be punished for taking off her bra? If so, what punishment?
2006-09-06 18:22:53 · 26 answers · asked by AnaMaria 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I developed breasts early and my mother forced me to wear a bra, I hated it. I was in the 6th grade wearing a bra and it made me self conscious because I was one of the firsts to start. Sure there were the girls who wore them to feel older but I wore it because I had to. I didnt like to wear tank tops because you could see the straps. I hated the feeling, but I got used to bras without underwire. She shouldnt be punished for not wearing one. Buy her tanktops with the built in lining/ attempt at support and tell her she needs to wear it as an undershirt. Layers are in so she could get a lacey tank and wear it under a sweater so the lace peaks out the bottom. Find creative ways to get her to wear it and be happy she isnt one of the girls who wear them and stuff to attract attention from the boys.
2006-09-06 18:32:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she should be punished for not wearing her bra, as a parent you have to pick your battles and really this is minuet to what most teenagers are doing. What about a sports bra or a camisole to give her the coverage she needs but, also isn't as annoying. Maybe it's the wrong size? You can go to victoria secrets they'll do measurements and have a wide variety. In all reality if she's wearing clothing that covers her what's the big deal lots of women go without bras.
2006-09-07 02:43:58 · answer #2 · answered by angel-gurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you are being a good mom.she should wear a bra if she is at the age of needing one.its trashy and sloppy looking when they dont wear one.maybe she should try sports bras they are much more compfortable and lots of girls wear them.or maybe even a training bra if she isnt too big yet.dont give in mom you are doing a great job and as far as punishment do it as any other punishment if she doesnt go by your rules there has to be consaquensas so take her tv away or dont let her talk on the phone for a week. there is a method to a mothers madness and they just dont get it sometimes.so stick to your rules and shell be fine in the end and they always are.
2006-09-07 01:33:09 · answer #3 · answered by queen4clewis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definatley think you are right for making her wear a bra, and I do agree its in her best interest. Children now days develop so quickly. Have you tried having her wear a sports bra? To me those are more comfortable and alot of them you can find with mesh on the bottoms of them, so you don't sweat as bad. As to a punishment, you need to make yourself clear that she IS to wear a bra, however if you push too hard she may rebel more. Try just making her wear a bra to school, and if you go places. Don't make her wear it all the time (not that I am saying you do, cause I don't know) This way it may be easier for her to adjust to the feeling of having it on. Hope something I said helps in the least bit. I wish you the best of luck!
2006-09-07 01:28:32 · answer #4 · answered by belyndabeth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't Punish her,there is a lots of different types of bras,i think the soft bra will be more comfortable to her,then try to be more patient with her,One day when she will see all her friends wearing the bra,she will come to and telling you what you have wished to hear,Sometime you mothers see that the thing is the best for us,while us don't believe that,but sooner or later we understand your point of view.
Don't worry,This little questions indicates that You are a good mother
2006-09-07 02:37:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would make an agreement with her. Either she continues to look for comfortable bras or sports bras with you, and finds one that she likes, OR she only wears certain shirts (that you pre-approve) when she decides to go braless. Anything of a thicker material or even the tank-tops with the built in bras that arent uncomfortable at all. At her age, she should be wearing training bras at least.. especially nowadays with all the sick people out there and other children who might harrass her. Eventually, she's going to realize she needs one.. until then, I would work with her on the issue, and don't let her out of the house in something you don't approve of.
Think of it this way.. if she complained that pants were too hot and hated how they felt on her legs, would you let her run around in teeny miniskirts or her underwear?
2006-09-07 01:41:16 · answer #6 · answered by DMBgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, she needs the bra and you are correct in making her wear it. As far as punishment...that is a hard one. She lied to you so I think she should be punished by being grounded. A week should be about right for this first time. If you didn't do this before, maybe you should go somewhere to buy her a bra where they measure and can find something that is comfortable for her, the saleperson should know what that would be.
2006-09-07 01:29:53 · answer #7 · answered by Jan G 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your parenting skills are in question here. I think you are doing what is, unfortunately, socially appropriate. My 11 year old wasn't thrilled when I bought her first bra, either, even though I did what you did and included her in the whole process.
What I think may be happening...has she developed faster than her closest friends? Is she getting picked on for it? Are boys being cruel to her, and snapping the straps? I think she is hesitant because she doesn't want to be "unpopular".
Give her some time. Point out when girls don't have bras on when out in public, and how inappropriate it can look. Encourage her to be concerned about her new budding breasts as well. they need support at this stage to prevent sagging, stretch marks, and tenderness.
She will come around, Mom. Just stand your ground as you have been.
2006-09-07 01:33:08 · answer #8 · answered by rouschkateer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could duck tape her breasts down. I was being a smart ***. You should not punish for not wearing a bra. Try the shirt with the built in bra. That way she is not "wearing" a bra, but the shirt has on in it. They have a lot of cute spagetti straps with built in bras. Give her the choice, and explain why and when to wear each one.
2006-09-07 02:13:54 · answer #9 · answered by meesh_nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are a goood mom and steering her straight. Try the sport bra 's she may like them. If not talk to her and see what the real problem is other than she not liking it. Tell her the dangerous a woman can encounter by not wearing a bra and that especially it keep her breast from sagging as she gets older.
2006-09-07 01:45:04 · answer #10 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋