I’m 18 yrs old an I just found out I was pregnant?

Question

I told my boyfriend he doesn’t want me to have it an he said I should get abortion or he is going to leave I don’t really need him anyways but I don’t want my baby to grow up with out a father in his or her life. An as for my parents they believe that one should be married before have a baby or sex at that, so they wont be there too

Answer 1

If you want to have the baby go for it. It's going to be hard to finish school and raise a baby. There are alot of places that offer help. Remember you do have options.

Answer 2

Well, I'm sorry to hear about what your boyfriend said, but you are right, you DON'T need him if that is his attitude. Your parents may take it hard when you first tell them, but I'm willing to bet that they will be there for you; you're their daughter! It's their job and they love you! Parents are excellent at bouncing back from hard news. Even in the worst case scenario, if your parents aren't there for you, someone in your family will help you. Your friends will also be there for you.

You have options, three major ones- have and keep the baby, give the baby up for adoption, or abort your pregnancy.

First, don't get discouraged. Do you have any idea how many 18 year olds have children? And they are fine. Maybe not the best situation or the most ideal (in their minds) but they are ok. I think you should let your parents know ( I mean, if your kid was pregnant, wouldn't you like to know? ) and just go from there. Tell the deadbeat boyfriend that you will find someone who won't leave you and will love you and your child (They are out there! Trust me! They're not all dogs!)

I don't personally believe in abortion, and I could never do it. I am afraid that I would be emotionally distraught and the guilt would be too much for me because I would be responsible for that child's life, so I would have and keep the baby. But I'm not going to be like a lot of people on here and try to force my beliefs on you. You have to sit down and think about what is right for you.

I am, however, going to recommend that you give your decision a LOT of thought, and that you do talk to your parents about it, and you definately get rid of that dude, no matter what choice you make. You don't need him, and it's better to end it now, especially now that you see how he handles things (like it's his way or the highway). You can do better!! Do you know how many men are out there that would love you and a baby unconditionally? Lots. Some are even looking for women just like you!

Just remember that you aren't the first person to go through this, and definately won't be the last, and you shouldn't get discouraged. A baby can be the biggest blessing in the whole world, and even if you give it up for adoption (which is another option you have open to you) then it will be a blessing for a couple that may not be able to have their own children.

Good luck, and God Bless!

Answer 3

First of all,believe me, you will have more boyfriends in your life. Don't listen to him.. if he leaves you, then he wasn't worth it anyway. Having a baby is alot of work, and will change your life, but, you should go to a women's center, there are some that are free and they do pregnancy tests,and talk to you about what you want to do. They may even recommend some one who can help you with all of this. As for your parents, some parents get upset, and hurt, or even angry, but, they end up loving their grandchild very much. They don't like the news, and it devistates them, but, they end up dealing with it. There are other parents who are very angry, and do not help the situation at all. Your parents may surprise you and after the shock wears off, they will help you.
Having a man in the baby's life would be nice, if the situation was different. Just having a man because you feel you have to, that isn't the way to think. If you have a child, make sure that it has the love and caring that it needs, and give it your all. You want this child to grow up to be happy and good, and loving.. and that is what will happen if you are there for your child. You have to be strong. If your bf won't be there for you, then, you be in charge of your life. Talk to someone, (not just girlfriends) and think about everything before you decide anything. I know how hard this is for you, but, you can do this. Your parents may surprise you in the end. Take care, I wish you well.
I had a neice that had an abortion, and went on to college, and married that same guy, and they had other kids. but, sometimes she thinks about it. She knew she wasn't ready for a child, but, she still thinks about the abortion. I think some people can deal with that, and some can't.

Answer 4

Hey, tell your parents that no one is perfect and hardly anyone follows the rules anyway. None of us answering can tell you that in all honesty, that they have followed all the rules. It is almost like people want the abortions just to hide their mistakes. We all mess up sometime or another. Just because we make one mistake doesn't mean we have to go and make another to cover it up. Abortion is just that, a cover up for one's mistake. Remember, two wrongs, don't make a right. But, one wrong and one right, can. Make sense?

Nowadays, so many unplanned pregnancies are happening, but the govt' has stepped in to help out a little. There are other sources of help out there, you just have to do some research.

Honey, the reality is this, there are tons of babies growing up without their father. Just because the father is going to be absent doesn't mean that you have to get rid of the child. Be the woman God created you to be and raise this child with the utmost love.

Go to planned parenthood or something. If you still feel like you can't raise the chlld, then go for adoption. Abortion is the easy and cruel way out.

Answer 5

I got pregnant also at 18 if your parents are big on family morals you will be surprised they will be there for you if there that way they wont want you to get an abortion. Well as far as the father goes he should of thought about that before he was having unprotected sex. Its your choice not his and yeah he will be paying child support for the rest of his life so he will be involved even if its just his money. If you need to talk you can email off of this anytime. I have been there.Best of luck

Answer 6

OH I AM SO SORRY FOR YOU! I am not sure this is something anyone can really advise you on. This is between you and your God. This is a choice so personal and so deep. Only you know what is best for you at this stage, and your baby. What I do know is that your boyfriend has NO right to tell you what to do. If he doesn't want the child, then he can choose to give up his rights and pay you child support. In most cases I believe parents eventually come around. Very few people can resist the touch of a newborn baby. Think of yourself and this baby what you want for your life. Try not to let others sway your decision. Good Luck.

Answer 7

I understand how scary it is to be pregnant at such a young age.I got pregnant at 18 as well and had my son at 19.I do understand that it will be hard not having a Father in the baby's life,but it is feasible.My parents too,believe that sex before Marriage is wrong.They are Jehovah's Witnesses as was I, but in the end it all worked out.Everyone makes mistakes regardless of waht religion you are and if God can be forgiving they can too.If your parents are Spiritual people, they will know that a life is so sacred and precious..I doubt they will agree for you to have an Abortion.They might surprise you and be there for you ..if not for your sake at least for the baby's. I wish you the best.If you need to talk you can email me @:[e-mail]!

Answer 8

Its a tough situation to be in and at such a young age. Seek out an agency that specializes in helping young unwed mothers. This will help take some of the pressure off of you that your under right now. What ever you do make absolutely sure before going thru with it. There is no turning back once the decision is made. Either have the child, raise it or adopt it out, or don't. It's your choice no one else's. What ever you do, get away from that loser.

Answer 9

First get rid of the guy no matter what your decision. If he chooses ultimatums in a time like this he's got to go. Parents are tough but hopefully they will come to their senses. (Maybe after the baby is born?) Abortion is extremely hard it is something that will haunt you forever. Single parent hood is obviously not the best option but that isnt your fault. A child changes everything and its a tough life. But there is so much help out there if you take advantage of it. Focus on you and this child. It is a very difficult but rewarding experience.

Answer 10

No cut-and-dried answers from me, because your life just got a lot more complicated. I'm going to give it to you as straight as I can, though.

Raising a child on your own will make your life much more difficult. I think it's tough to make a living even if you have a college degree. Have a kid at your age and you've cut off about half of your option. I've known some women, though, who found raising kids on their own to be easier than raising kids, and that particular husband.

I think your parents and you are on the same page, that your children should be raised with a stable and caring dad in their lives. Wanting you to be married first was their way of trying to make sure that happens for you. When the going gets tough, you sometimes find out what kind of man and what kind of committment you have. This has happened to you, and I'm sad that it has.

And I'm sure that your parents wanted you to have a college degree and some life skills first, so you could make it on your own if things didn't work out. Your parents have been around a long time. They've seen a lot of starry-eyed dreams go sour, and that's not what they wanted for you.

Whether or not to have an abortion? Not sure that's a decision I'd ever want to make for myself-- I sure don't want to make it for anyone else. It sometimes seems like there are two camps about it: that it is no big deal and every woman's right, or that it's a terrible sin. Neither side seems like they want to be there for a woman that's gone through it. Sometimes women do have a tough time of it, emotionally and spiritually. Who do you turn to then?

From a medical point of view, though, a full-term pregnancy is more likely to have serious complications.

You have found yourself between a rock and a hard place, exactly the place your parents never wanted you to be. Given a choice, they wouldn't want you to be suffering through this on your own. If their heart is breaking, it's because of what you're going through.

The decisions are yours to make and nobody elses, but you have enough burdens to carry without the secrets, and the stone walls silence can build between you and the people who love you.

One of your parents is going to be easier to talk to, and you know for yourself which one it is. If you really and truly can't talk to either of them, you need to talk to a former teacher, or minister, or somebody you trust. But talk!

Answer 11

its hard in this position because you feel so alone. One thing i can tell you is you need to do what YOU feel is right. I can tell just from your question that you want to keep the baby. While your parents will probably ***** a great deal and youll probably be in a lot of trouble, i can guaruntee that by the time that baby gets there they will forget about the bitching and enjoy their grandchild. It happened to my one friend. He parents were so pissed when they found out she was prego, now they LOVE her son sooo much and everything is fine.

You have only yourself and your baby to think about now. You can make it work, especially if you want it bad enough!!

Good luck!!