My dad died in January and now I get so lonely because he is gone?

Question

I am 42 yrs old. My dad helped me weather all of the storms. I confided in him and he was a very good listener. He gave me funny advice and knew me better than anyone else in the world. He knew me from the inside out. He is responsible for making me the excellent person I have turned out to be. I think I will probably die alone because I am divorced x 2 and my kids are gone. I put up with an abusive husband and a mooch. Suddenly in my 40's I am starting to feel worn out. What can I do to get past this overwhelming loss and grief? Should I drink, or perhaps get another job. My current significant other is still croning after his ex wife. He is so not supportive of me. My own siblings are too busy with their own lives to have family gatherings. They have their own kids and lives. I have an empty house and my dog.
I started going to church, but didnt like the dull preacher. Maybe I should start a hobby. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

I know how you feel I lost my father 4 years ago when I was 45 . My advice to help you through this is see your doctor and possibly try some antidepressants for a time just to help you out of these very real and sometimes overwhelming problems. We can all use any available help in these situations . I think my advice may help you maintain yourself so you can begin to look for distractions from dwelling on these problems for a significantly long time , enough to bring anyone down. It sounds like the current significant other would leave a bit to be desired, perhaps ending that so you'll be free to be yourself and be available to a someone more positive that can offer you some comfort and relief which you could surely use. Then get out and about and be available to meet new people and make new friends. Go out and have a few drinks and enjoy yourself , cut loose and relax once in a while and try not to dwell on the negative things so much . Not an easy feat but it can be done . You will get back into the swing of things and you have many years to find happiness again ! Concentrate on your self right now because your important and this will be good for you.

Best of luck to you !

Answer 2

Having experienced the loss of several significant people in my life, I know how painful this loss can be. I would suggest going to a grief/loss support group and/or seeking professional counseling to help you deal with your grief. As far as going to church and not liking the preacher, try another church. Sometimes you need to look around a bit to find one that fits you. Yes, getting a hobby is a very good idea! You could also try taking a class in something that interests you. I hope you start feeling better soon!

Answer 3

I'm am truly sorry for your loss, losing a parent is very tough. All I can say is that it will get easier with time, and that is a good thing, because knowing what you say about your father, that is what he would want. No, things will never be "normal" again, but you will have to find a "new normal." I too know how it feels to not have a very strong family unit, everyone is very busy with their own lives. What I suggest is using this time to improve yourself...get a gym membership and challenge yourself with that. You could meet people in the classes, plus it makes you feel good! If you want to improve your mind...take some classes at a community college, it feels good to stimulate your mind. If you want to be a homebody at times, try playing online games at www.pogo.com, I play on their occasionally and from the chat I have seen people establishing strong friendships...plus, you can get some interaction on there if you want it.
Regardless, from how your situation sounds, it is going to be up to you to make the change, and I think the best avenue to go is busy yourself with self-improvement, it is quite a self-esteem booster. Good luck and God Bless! ♥

Answer 4

stop feeling sorry for yourself. Even though your dad is not physically here, he is still apart of you. He lives through you. He will never leave you because you still have thoughts of what he has taught you. You have incredible strength inside you. You just have to unveil it. Start asking yourself questions on how you can improve your life in all aspects and then start to do something about it. The difference between people that can accomplish anything and the ones that think they can't are the same. Believe that you can and you will. Good luck.

Answer 5

Search for God,

I mean truly find out who he is...like personally in your own home, open the bible and read and study that wonderful guide of life. A good place to start, is Ray Comfort's website http://www.wayofthemaster.com . This site is the one that opened my eyes and really helped me grow in my life. If you want to hear something solid, and without the dullness of a preacher...this will give you a great start.

God Loves You, remember that.

Answer 6

My Mother died this last December. I left my husband, of 30 years, four months ago. I can understand what you are going through. I am 53 and I get very lonely, too. Try to stay as busy as possible. Find something you enjoy doing. God bless you.

Answer 7

Hello, and Good Day to you. I read a book about 7 years ago that totally changed my life and my outlook. It is called "The Power of Your Subconscious Mind," by Dr. Joseph Murphy. I would highly recommend this book to you if you want to change your life as well. I personally believe that we are all given what we need to build a wonderful life for ourselves, but it is in our "deep mind," and we have to learn to "fish" it out, so to speak. I learned how to Meditate from the above book as well, which to me is one of the best things that one can learn to do, besides prayer. Good Luck to you and God's speed in finding what you are searching for.

Answer 8

I would start going to a therapist as a hobby, then find something to do to work out the body and mind, like yoga, karate, kick boxing.. Anything to give you a spark back.

Answer 9

have been given to the cemetery in the previous all and sundry arrives or stay for awhile while they go away. Be with your dad and relatives for the period of the term he has asked. sometime, you would be happy you probably did.

Answer 10

I feel ur grieve I'm sorry to hear about your father....always keep your memories alive...an know that ur father is now in a better place then we are...He misses you..too .in time you will learn to accept..that it was his calling from the up above...an u cannot change....