What to do about boyfriend who doesn't call?

Question

Hi. I live about five hours away from my boyfriend. We have been together for almost 2 years, and I know that he has never cheated on me. He got a new job as a store manager a few months ago, and he works constantly.
He usually called me about every other day or so. That was fine with me. After he got his new job, he worked so much that he called about once every 4 or 5 days. We argued about it a lot and I told him how unhappy I was and he said he would change.
Well he kept saying that he was trying, but I would only get phone calls about every 6 days. He called tonight for the first time in a week and we argued about it again. He said that it probably isn't going to change and that he isn't going to apologize because I know how busy he is and we've "had that conversation too many times."
I'm tired of it too, but I don't know what to do. We have discussed marriage and I know that he loves me a lot. I love him so much and it is so hard to deal with this.
Please help me!

Answer 1

You could play the game too. Then he might realize how you feel. Apparently your words are not getting through to him. My husband traveled for work and we would speak several times a day but one day he just didn't call. He went 22 hours without calling home. I was irate. When he finally did call, instead of answering the phone and arguing with him, I just let it ring. And ring, and ring, and ring for the next 22 hours. I checked his cell phone bill and he called more than 100 times in that 22 hours. When the 22 hours was up I answered the phone in a pleasant tone because I was no longer mad because I knew he got a little taste of his own medicine. He was the one who was mad now, but all I had to do was point out the fact he did not call me for 22 hours and I was just letting him know how I felt by returning the favor. He now understands, and it has not happened since. Even after 2 years he still remembers how it felt. ;-)

Answer 2

The relationship is over. what kind of a relationship are you in when you dont see someone and you only talk to them every 6 days. I work 6 days per week with over time, I still call my wife while I am driving in the car or on a break at work. If you did not talk to him even 1 time for a few minutes for 6 days then the relationship is over. There is 24 hours in a day, there is no way he cant find 10 minutes to call you. Unless you are being unreasonable and what you really want is for him to talk for 2 or 3 hours then you need to cut him some slack. If 10 or 15 minutes is all the time he has and you trust that he is not cheating than that will have to be enough for right now. I also agree about the arguing. If the first thing you do is bich about him calling then why should he call. Tell him you missed him, ask about hid day. tell him about your day. keep it positive if you only have 1 or 2 times per week to talk to him. Bich to your friends and leave the poor guy alone. Try some phone sex, that will give him more of a reason to call.

Answer 3

First of all, you don't know if he's ever cheated and you don't know whether he's out with another woman instead of calling you.

Second, why are you in a long distance relationship? Even talking every 2 days doesn't seem like its worth the time. You have no "alone" time, no intimacy, nothing. Basically, you have a friend that lives 5 hours away.

Lastly, why would you argue about it? Who would want to call you if you kept arguing every time they did call?

Answer 4

You can't keep having the same argument with him because you'll just come off as being a nag. You need to seriously think about what your needs are and if he is fulfilling them or not. A five hour distance is tough. Next time you talk to him, don't mention that you haven't talked in however many days. Just have a good conversation. Then the time after that have a serious conversation about respect & how it makes you feel when you don't hear from him. Suggest maybe taking it down a level to a not so committed relationship if you can deal with that. Also, don't be so available when he calls...good luck!

Answer 5

Call him or move closer if you want it to work. There is NO excuse not to call in six days or even 2-3 days. Why dont you call him? Maybe he is over you, bitching and argueing will make him not want to call. My boyfriend works 14 hours a day and we live together and he is always busy and he still finds a couple minutes to call me every few hours and ask me how im doing. You need to find out the real reason he is not calling cause its definetly not that he is busy with work. Y cant he call you on his way to work or before he goes to bed to at least tell you goodnight, ask him, without argueing and complaining.

Answer 6

How old are you? ... Jw... if you are capable of living on ur own, why dont' you try to relocate to him... go to his town so u can actually see each other easier... Umm... this sounds like the USUAL mans excuse... maybe he's NOT calling cuz he does have another chick on the side... yes he still may be working his hours and what not... but as for having NO time to call you that's BOGUS! Definately take a surprise trip up to his place (if you have a key? ) and maybe surprise him with it... and show up and see for yourself whats actually going on? Cuz I mean if he's like 5hrs away there is definately chances for him to be able to date other without you knowing or the other person either... it would seem to me that if you both really loved each other like you say... and after two years together he'd call you at least for sure every other day considering he IS 5hrs away... My bf and I live together ... been that way for 2years and 7months... and he calls me every day either at lunch time or before he heads home ... that way we can still stay in touch cuz normally when he's working i'm home and by the time I expect him home (4-6pm) i'm heading off to work... but with this ... it helps our relationship stay strong... :) ... Umm... yeah if you are of age... maybe you should try and get a place together so that you can REALLY see if this relationship will work out... umm.. IM me/message me if you need anything more...

Answer 7

Long distance relationships rarely work out. Actions speak louder than words. Even if he is working hard, how tough is it to pick up the phone and call? Maybe he doesn't want to talk a long time on the phone. Would you be more content if he called you every day just to say "hi" and kept it short? If he really wanted to call you, trust me, he'd call.

Answer 8

Funny about female.. They always like to "fix" their man.. or to change their man. But guess what? We don't change!

Girls take pride with fix up projects.. Girls love getting with bad boys in hopes their magic pu$$y can change the frog into a prince. If a girl see a nice guy vs a bad boy.. the girls would openly spread their legs for the bad boys and after they know they got the guy.. they would start to complain.. b*tch.. argue.. completely ignoring the Nice guys.

You got two options.. You can either put up with it or leave him. Those are pretty much the only option you got.

I think you know what you need to do.


24/Los Angeles
"premarital sex creates broken families, broken families creates broken society - a vicious cycle only you can stop."

Answer 9

He is busy and whenever he calls you argue with him so he calls less and less b/c we men don't like arguing after a long day's work. Stop arguing, meet him halfway and call him yourself sometimes. Do something positive b/c I have a feeling it is all this arguing that is doing the damage.

Answer 10

I used to have a boyfriend whom which had a pager and a cell. he would screen his calls. every time i would call or page him he said he never got it or he was busy. sometimes he didn't have any excuse at all. i used to wait at home on the couch for his phone call. ....do you notice how many times I've said USED to? If he doesn't change now, hell never do it and you will spend half your life sitting on the couch waiting. Reward yourself and find someone who's more into YOU.