A while back I started chatting online with a guy who was stationed in Iraq. he's been writing me back and forth a bit both online and in actual snail mail letters that he sends usually of drawings of stuff he made.
Anyway, a while back I said "if you ever want to hang out or something when you get back hit me up". Well I meant that however the closer it grows towards when he gets sent back the more and more he's both bringing it up then bringing up "All the troble" to get from where he lives in the US to where I am and such. Basically I think he's guilt tripping me to "get something" if you follow what I am saying. Any advice on how I should deal with this?
2006-09-06 17:37:18 · 10 answers · asked by c l 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You don't have to be at a wedding to get cold feet! You could be just nervous and reading more into it than there is. It all depends on what kind of signals you have sent him. Is there any possible way you may have misled him? If so then you need to get it straightened out before he shows up at the door step. You should anyway because he might be taking for granite that's what is going to happen.!( I assume we are talking about sex?)
If its a money thing, that ones easy! Dont give him none of that either.
2006-09-06 18:07:53 · answer #1 · answered by noname 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like he's guilt tripping you then he probably is. I would say you should back off from the communcations a little and maybe ask someone else to give you an unbiased opinion about his letters. Sometimes things come off differently in writing than the writer intends. Hopefully he doesn't have your actually physical address because that could present a whole new problem all by itself. If you think he's nice - you may just ask him strait out - why he feels its such a burden to come see you or as he says "all the trouble". Just be safe because you don't actually know this person very well. Good LUck!
2006-09-06 17:42:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm... well I don't know if you 'really' want to meet him or not. That's something you need to clear up with him right away. If you don't want to meet him then don't meet him. Don't you dare let him guilt trip you into doing anything other than meeting him though. (If that's what he's suggesting) If this is a real problem for you then you should tell him straight that you're not interested in anything sexual/romantic when he comes here. Say that long before you two make any concrete plans. Hell, say it tonight. You don't have to make a big long speech out of it, just say it. You'll figure out real quick why he's coming from how he responds to it. Chances are if he was just coming there for sex, he will all of a sudden not be able to come. On the off chance that he does come after you said "Nothing sexual or romantic is going to happen." and he's still looking for something 'more', then don't be afraid to use the word "NO" followed by whatever amount of appropriate force is needed to make him understand "NO". Good luck.
2006-09-06 17:42:10 · answer #3 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WATCH YOUR STEP BE SLOW IF YOU HIT IT OFF YOU LIKE IT THEN GO FOR IT WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HIM HAVE SOME ONE THAT WILL HELP YOU IF YOU NEED IT JUST TO LET YOU KNOW TH IR ARE A LOT OF NUTS OUT HE MAY BE IN E MAILING YOU FROM A JAIL DON'T LET YOUR GUARD DOWN GOOD LUCK TO YOU
2006-09-06 17:48:27 · answer #4 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make your own decision about what you expect to happen and stick to it. Even tell him up front, if that is what you need to do. Don't let him pressure you into anything you don't want to do. Good luck and be safe.
2006-09-06 17:43:08 · answer #5 · answered by treasureisland85 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont succumb to what he wants you to do. if he really likes you and wants to see you, let him do all the work. let him come to you and put the effort in. you shouldnt feel guilty and that you short go see him. it was his choice to fight, so you shouldnt feel bad for what he is going through. let him come to you
2006-09-06 17:43:11 · answer #6 · answered by marcvialli 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
may be he is genulely intresed in you.
i only feel ur only lookign at the negetive side of it if at all that exists
2006-09-06 17:41:48 · answer #7 · answered by srihari_reddy_s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you think hes guilt tripping you to do things, then don't talk to him or meet. [
2006-09-06 17:41:53 · answer #8 · answered by panchorific 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you dont like him that way let him know honesty is always best in the end
2006-09-06 17:41:44 · answer #9 · answered by reno_tony_casino 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
express your heart......
and get it out from your life
2006-09-06 17:57:06 · answer #10 · answered by Henry W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋