Just today the Dr.'s said that my grandma has 3 to 6 months to live and no more than a year.
Hospice will be coming in to help take care of her
I don't want to cry or be depressed around her and make her sad,cry and be depressed.
What is the best way to deal w/ this sort of thing?
2006-09-06 17:35:49 · 13 answers · asked by sandiegogal2002@yahoo.com 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
seroius answers only please.
2006-09-06 17:36:35 · update #1
If she is going to be in the care of Hospice, you should ask those counsellors to help you deal with this. Hospice is there to help the entire family (not just the patient) deal with the impending death. Sit with your grandmother and ask her questions -- what's her favorite song, did she ever go to the prom, was she a good dancer. I actually asked my father in law if he was afraid to die (no one else in the family wanted to even acknowledge his impending death). He told me he had fought in WWII and wasn't afraid of anything after that. Bless your family in this sad time
2006-09-06 17:41:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same situation with my dad. There were times when I just couldn't be strong for him so I would go outside and have a good long cry.
I would make sure that I washed my face and straightened up a bit before going back to stay with him so that he would not be upset that I was sad.
Spend as much time as you can with your grandma and ask her if there is anything that she would like to do. She may want something that you would never think of in your current state. My dad, who never had a sweet tooth, insisted on ice cream in his last days. You can bet that I found him some even at 4:00 in the morning when he was having cravings.
Let your grandma know how much she means to you. Time goes by really fast - use what you have as quality time. I wish that I had months... my dad passed away after 7 days after finding out that he was sick. We were all horrified that he went so fast. Good luck to you.
2006-09-07 00:46:38 · answer #2 · answered by alo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her; make a video or audio recording if possible for you to keep; read to her, even if you think she can't hear you, tell her it's OK to die, talk about heaven and how wonderful it is and all the people she will get to see again.....Try to cry in private but of you cry in front of her, it's OK; just tell her you love her and be with her no matter how hard it is....
I wish I would have done these things w/ my father, I was 14-15 when he lay dying of cancer, and I didn't know what to do, so I avoided home as much as possible....now I carry a lifetime of guilt around with me and wish for the chance to do it over, the right way
2006-09-07 00:42:33 · answer #3 · answered by lazy_n_spoiled 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry :( This is going to be really hard for everyone in your family, my husband volunteers with hospice and i have heard stories. Just let your family know that hospice is there for you all to, if you need anything let them know....Also, its ok to cry in front of your gran, she knows whats going on right....Tell her everyday how much you love her and talk to her, find out all those great old stories, her great memories, memories you shared together, you'll be amazed how just sitting there and listening the stuff you will learn....Just be there with her, this way she will see she is not alone and that she is loved....
2006-09-07 00:53:40 · answer #4 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is okay to cry around her. I have experience with my grandmother dying. It never helps to pretend that everything is okay. Knowing that you are going to die really hurts. Having a good cry together really helps. Look the problem in the face. Talk to her about it. Tell her that you are going to miss her. Be honest and open. Pretending that everything is okay may make her angry.
2006-09-07 00:47:29 · answer #5 · answered by Christopher Boston 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your grandma is probably having a harder time with this then you are....it's ok to cry do it when you are not with her....make her last memories happy ones for the entire family....do something with her that you have always wanted to do....gl and may God bless you all
2006-09-07 00:53:57 · answer #6 · answered by lilmisscca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her,treat her with the same respect, she has always give you.Knowing your there and you care,is enought for her to know she did a good job in this world with her Daughter and their children.She is truly blessed,and can rest knowing she is Loved.
2006-09-07 00:49:46 · answer #7 · answered by Rather be dead than red... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make her as comfortable as possible.
Talk to her about fond memories. Look through photos, movies, etc...
Ask her the things that she wants to do. Try to accomplish them with her.
Talk to her about your life. Your dreams, your wishes.....
Be strong for her. If she's ok with you showing emotion, show it. But don't make it about YOU.
2006-09-07 00:43:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything that you have ever wated to say to your grandma do it now. Anything that you have ever wanted to do with her do it now! Make the best of it.
2006-09-07 00:39:11 · answer #9 · answered by stick 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
spend all the time u have with her now cherish those memories tell her everything you have to say to her.spend time with her as much a possible
2006-09-07 00:44:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋