My husband and I have a 7 week old son(firstborn), and I still feel like I don't know what I am doing. I love my son like no other, but sometimes I feel like I could be doing a better job. I just get so overwhelmed with everything. Is it normal to feel this way?
2006-09-06 17:20:24 · 21 answers · asked by nvrland_believer 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
definatly normal....and it will feel like that until they are 18!
2006-09-06 17:23:39 · answer #1 · answered by tgood91 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes it is, and you could be suffering from postnatal depression so you should tell your midwife or doctor about it.
I know when I had my first born even though she was the best thing since sliced bread I felt very unsure if I was doing the right things so instead of going along with the books I went along with my instinct and things got a lot better.
I also felt very isolated because all my friends were at work and I was used to being amongst people and all you have now is this tiny helpless baby.
I also used to burst into tears at things like not being able to open a tin of tomatoes!! - so if this does sound like you then have a word with someone - it is quite normal but you can be helped and it will make being a new Mum much more enjoyable as you will stop worrying.
2006-09-06 23:19:16 · answer #2 · answered by muffymermaid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is very normal! First of all, you're feeling overwhelmed partially because your hormones have not leveled out yet. It takes several months. Also, I'm sure that you're a bit short on sleep. When baby takes a nap, you should too. Things don't have to be perfect. Keep that in mind. Try to get out of the house and away from baby once a week or so, you'll be a better mom if you have a little fun. Most importantly, listen to your instincts. You are probably doing better than you think you are. Have fun with your baby. Don't worry so much. He's got a good mom.
2006-09-06 17:42:39 · answer #3 · answered by mightymite1957 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
relax its normal. I had to lower my expectaions and just focus on my baby and let everything else wait. Don't try and be super woman and continue on as if nothing in your life has changed other than the addition of your child. Don't try to do it all. Except all the help you can get. Get hooked up with other moms but realize there is no competition and don't compare yourself to anyone. Everybody's circumstances are different.
Protect your sleep! I think this was key for me. When your baby falls into a regular sleep pattern life will get easier. Sleep when you can, always.
I have a 4 and a 7 year old and I still haven't found the manual. Good luck and hang in there.
2006-09-06 18:23:34 · answer #4 · answered by virgo 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yep, I felt the same way.I was tired, I wanted a break, I wanted someone to come and tell me what to do, and make sure I'm doing everything the right way. Thank God my mom was here for 3 months (I'm from Europe..),but than I felt lost.
You are doing a good job when you are thinking and providing for your baby. It's gonna get easier. My baby is 15 months old, and I still think about those hard days when I wasn't sure what to do.
I was by my self,my husband was at school or work all day,every day,and I cried so much.... But now it's easier, a lot easier.
You are doing good!
2006-09-06 19:08:41 · answer #5 · answered by hedychambers 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes like all or most of the answers you got so far...I loved my 1st son, but I was young, 19, I felt for a long time I didn't know what I was doing...many circumstances in my life made it different, not having my husband, well not that was willing to be with me to raise this child...we have insecurities about many things, having a baby is so much responsiblity, and then add to that not getting enough sleep, makes us feel even worse some times...It will slowly get some easier, but that first baby can be overwhelming, even other children we may have later, but we have to have confidence in ourselves that we are able to take care of a helpless, bundle of joy...they don't always seem that way, but they are...if you get too overwhelmed you need to tell your husband...you need a few hrs. time to yourself...to nap, take a nice long hot bath or shower, we tend to not do for ourselves trying to give and do the most and/or best for our babies and husbands or boyfriends, and we tend to not remember we are important as well...if your husband is unable to help for whatever reason, ask a family member to watch the baby...a friend...I also know it is hard to let someone take the baby away from your side, but it truly will be a benefit for you and the baby to have a few hrs to yourself a week or every two weeks...if you are not comfortable with someone taking your baby out of the house like I was, I would ask them to just watch him, while I took some time to nap, or read, take a bath or shower, and that few hours is so refreshing, even if it is a short time...there is a strong bond between a mother and child...but if we don't take care of ourselves we are not able to care for our babies like we should...an example of this that I can think of right off hand is in an airplane and the oxygen masks fall, they tell you to help yourself b4 you try to help someone else...or you will not be able to help the other person sufficiently......I wish you much luck, and Congrats on your new blessing!! :)
2006-09-06 20:33:41 · answer #6 · answered by no_doubt! 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's more than normal to feel that way! You've taken on a big responsiblity! But before long it'll all be old shoe! You won't even remember feeling that way! Take one day at a time and you'll see that it'll all be like you've been doing it forever! Babies are so much fun! And they grow up to be pretty good people! Just relax! You'll do just fine!!
2006-09-06 17:43:48 · answer #7 · answered by dumplin57 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes this is very normal, Having a baby especially the first one is a huge change for parents, These are very normal feelings however they do happen with different severity's if you are feeling severely overwhelmed or having sever feeling of inferiority you may have some baby blues going on, if this is the case it is also something very normal but you should discuss it with your doctor
2006-09-06 17:43:43 · answer #8 · answered by just being 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is totaly normal for a 1st time even a 2nd time mother.
We dont know everything...having a baby doesnt come with an instruction booklet. You need to listen to advice and see what works for you. I do not raise my children the typical way...but im always told that my children are well behaved and happy kids.
So do what you are comfy with. And when you need help remember to ask for it.
2006-09-06 19:18:18 · answer #9 · answered by Natasha 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Every child you have will be different, knowing if they are crying because their hungry or need changing, who can tell?.
I think I can hear a perfectionist, enjoy the time you have together.
Try and have a sleep when he is sleeping, as sleep deprivation makes everything 10 X bigger than it really is.
Write down your daily routine (including times) sleeping, feeding nappy changes, etc. Routine make a world of difference on settling you and him.
Contact your Community Health Centre the staff are always well trained and have lots of information and videos.
And remember: Life only gives you, what you can handle!!
2006-09-06 18:33:53 · answer #10 · answered by *esha* 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yep, they all say it is normal. I am inclined to believe that. I have a 5mo old and I still look at her every day and think of all the things I have done so wrong. She still smiles at me, even when I am frowing at her for only taking a 20min nap and refusing to sleep at night. I love her to peices. Eventually you will start to feel normal again, hang in!
2006-09-06 19:02:02 · answer #11 · answered by J O 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋