Working Mothers???

Question

Have any of you had a hard time breaking free from the baby to go back to work? I am finding it difficult to leave him and dread returning to work. But I have to. He is 9 months and we need money. I got a great job last week, and backed out at the last minute I was having such anxiety over it. What advice can you give?

The baby will be watched by his gramma (my boyfriend's mother) most of the time and occasionally by my best friend of 13 years who has 4 kids of her own. I trust them both with my son. My thing is I want to raise my son. I don't want to miss anything. I think 40-45 hours a week apart from each other is too much. Maybe I should start out part time and see how it goes. Financially, I must go back to work, staying home is not an option any longer. I am lucky I got 9 months with him.

Answer 1

It depends on why you have the anxiety. If you are concerned about the care he will get while you are at work you should look into other daycare options. If it is just because you will miss him, then start back part time and when you are comfortable then go back full time.

Answer 2

Here is another prospective. I was a single parent father with 2 still in diapers. There was no question that I had to work in order to keep my kids. Society is not so kind to fathers as to mothers. So look at the facts. Do you need the money or is it just for luxuries? Another fact is that you will still see your child everyday. Many father's can't.

Answer 3

I love my daughters to death.

But they started daycare when they were each 8 weeks old.

And I'm convinced that daycare is good for them. It's a mixed-age setting, so they're learning from the older kids and "helping" to take care of the younger ones. Every day they come home with a new physical, social, or intellectual skill.

They get lots of mama time, and they know that I'll drop anything I'm doing and come home if they need me, but most of the time they don't. They're at an in-home daycare, and they love their daycare provider. She cooks with them, gardens with them, takes them on field trips, does "preschool" with them, and provides them with art and music lessons. They regard the other kids there almost as siblings. And I feel like this situation is as close to a home environment as it can get. In fact, I think Deb does MORE things with them than I ever would, if I were at home, if only because she has tons of experience and a schedule.

They know I'm their mama, but isn't it nice to know that there are more people in the world who can love you and care for you than just your parents? I think the more folks who can love your babies, the better!

If the job will make you happy, and ease the strain on your marriage that results from financial pressure, and you can find a daycare situation that feels right to you, go for it.

Answer 4

I had a terrible time going back to work after having my daughter. Eventually, though, it was kinda nice to get out of the house and have grown up conversations and be someone other than "Mama". I don't think it is ever easy, but maybe you could find a job that would let you ease into things. Maybe you could start out part time and work up to more hours if you want to. Good luck. I hope you find a solution.

Answer 5

Listen! We all love our children, but we have to work if we want to raise them properly.
In my country it is a common practice that grand parents take care of the grand children or employ a baby-sitter for 9 hours daily, M-F but the rest of the day and the week-ends the baby is all yours! It's up to you to choose the way you will spend time together. Play with him, have fun, take him out, make his favourite dishes! I can assure you that it is quality and not quantity what really counts to children. I have two of my own and when they were babies, they were doing like crazy to see me back home. I love them and they love me very much.
Don't be afraid to go back to work, just make sure that you find a nice baby-sitter, with whom you can have an accurate and effective communication.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I AM A MOM AND I HAVE A FULL TIME JOB AND I HAD TO GO TO WORK WHEN I DAUGHTER WAS 6 WEEKS OLD BUT AS SHE IS OLDER I CAN'T WAIT TILL I GET HINE SO SEE THE SMILE ON HER FACE AND SHE IS SO HAPPY TO SEE ME AND THATS WHAT I LOOK FOWARD TO WHEN I GET HOME FROM WORK AND IT IS HARD AT FIRST BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN THERE SINCE DAY 1 AND NOT HE IS 9 MONTHS OLD BUT IT IS GOOD TO HAVE TIME AWAY FORM THE BABY IT WILL HELP WITH YOU BOTH AND HE WILL BE OK AS LONG AS YOU TRUST WHO YOU LEAVE HIM WITH AND YOU CAN CALL AND CHECK UP ON HIM AND IF IT'S NOT TO FAR GO VISIT HIM ON YOUR LUNCH BREAK AND WHEN YOU GET OFF OF WORK IT IS A GREAT FEELING KNOWITH THAT YOU HAD A FULL DAYS OF WORK AND YOU CAN SEE YOU BABY WHEN YOU GET HOME OR WHEN YOU PICK HIM UP FROM THE SITTERS

Answer 7

if there is any way possible I encourage moms to stay with their babies at home at least until they start kindergarden. Even if you have to live in a cheaper place, or do without a second car, etc. You only get to raise them once. I did not want day care to raise my children and I had no family to help, so I stayed home with them and loved every second of it. I have 2 great adult children now.

Answer 8

I think finding a trusted daycare/caregive/nanny woudl really help.
both my son and my daughter are in daycare. though different ones(because the lack of space in our city) they are one of the best in town and i know that both my kids will get the best care they get from these loving ladies.
today is the 3rd day for my daughter going to her daycare and she's already loving it and that made me very comfortable leaving her there.

Answer 9

its unfortunate to leave them at such a young age. they get sick alot if they have to go into a daycare. hopefully your child can be cared for at home or with a relative. he/she may experience seperation anxiety but hes young enough to adjust. i think we as parents have a harder time adjusting than they do.

Answer 10

Stay home with that baby.