Question about giving car rides to a friend...?

Question

So, I have this friend, & shes great, we love to hang out and stuff! We both had our owns cars until hers completely died. When we hung out, we would take turns driving, & it was a nice little arrangment. Ever since her car died, I've been doing all the car pooling....driving us to the mall, driving us to eat, all that. But, its starting to take a strain. Gas is already expensive, & it dosent help when you have an older car, & your a broke college student (not to mention its annoying, & driving isnt my favorite thing!) She cant afford a new car [folks cant buy one for her], & she recently told me she has no interest in buying another if she had the funds (she takes the bus to work, & her parents wont let her use THEIR cars!) She cant get rides anywhere b/c everyone in her house is always working!

i dont know what to do. should I ask her to help w/ gas? encourage her to buy a new car? Is she abusing the privlege? I dont think she'd do that! I dont wanna stop hanging out! HELP!

i sorta pitched the "help with gas idea"...but then she was like "well, i didnt ask YOU for gas money when I had a car", and i thought to myself "yeah, that was when we BOTH gave eachother rides" [i didnt say that outloud!]

..and im not about to take the bus, EW

Answer 1

I think that I would just ask her to chip in for gas as nicely as possible. If she is a good friend she will understand.

Answer 2

if you don't want to stop hanging out with your friend, then you've already answered your own question. You're gonna have to keep giving her rides. If you don't feel like driving all the time, maybe offer to let her drive your car (if you feel comfortable with it and your insurance would cover her driving your car). Also, remind her about the price of gas and ask if she can help. Maybe she'd offer to fill up your car every other time you go get gas (providing you're driving her around enough to warrant this). Eventually she'll probably need her own car, but you can't MAKE her buy one if she already has a system in place and it's working out okay for her.

She's only abusing the privilege if she knows that you don't like driving everywhere and she has other ways to get to where you're going....if she can take the bus to meet you at the mall, or wherever you plan to meet but is making you drive anyway, that would be abuse of the privilege.

Answer 3

Just explain to your friend basically what you just said, that you are broke & you're having trouble paying for all the gas because before you would share driving & you just cant afford it, but you still want to hang out & do all the things, & you were really nervous about approaching the subject, but say I was wondeirng if you could help come up with a solution!

Sometimes I have heard of people getting annoyed about being asked for gas money, I don't personally but I always offer & alot of my friends offer or ask. But if you approach it as a broad question, it should be fine!

If she's a really good friend I'm sure she won't mind discussing this with you or helping you out! So just have a chat & im sure you'll sort things out. Good luck!

Answer 4

I'd just tell her that you need to talk to her and you hate what you have to say. Tell her that you're having a hard time with money because gas is so expensive lately, and you can't afford to be driving all these places that you both are going to. Ask her if she'd mind helping you out with gas once in a while since you're the one doing the driving. If she is a good friend, she will help out with no questions asked. If she were a really good friend, she would've already offered to help pay for gas.

Answer 5

Tell your friend that you're feeling used for the ride. If she loves taking the bus so much, offer to meet places when you go out. Stop driving her places.
I have the same problem with a friend whom I drive everywhere. She likes to brag about how great the bus is because of the environment and everything else bla bla bla. I thought that was kind of a slap in the face. When we get together I ask her to meet me and sometimes I pick her up and sometimes I drive her home when we're done, but sometimes I drop her off at the subway station. Sometimes she buys me coffee or ice cream to say thanks, but not very often. It's hard though because I really like her and want to hang out with her, so I know what you mean. Except that I like driving and my car is new and it's good on gas. But still.
I still think it's best to be honest with your friend. Tell her you feel used and stop being the driver.

Answer 6

I have only ridden with one friend once a few years ago. She was one of the worst drivers I have ever witnessed. She had a brand new nice Toyota and at first I thought something was seriously wrong with the car. Took me a minute to figure out what was going on. She was both accelerating and braking at the same time! It was like Mr. Toads wild ride or being on a bucking bronco. The poor car had hippcups.The car just jerked down the road in the slow lane. I was getting whiplash and getting more nervous by the second. Thankfully everyone got away from her. She had no clue at all how bad she was. I realized then why she always seemed to have her new cars break down on her, she was a born car killer. I was so happy to get home in one piece.

Answer 7

Well I agree that you shouldn't have to pay for everything but I don't think it should be near a 50/50 split. I'm sure you use the car for other things besides driving the two of you around, not to mention that you would only have been doing 50% more of that. Instead of asking for gas, when you agree to do something explain to her that you are a bit underfunded because of gas and would she buy you lunch or pay for a movie ticket, etc every once in a while.

Answer 8

You sound like a beautifull friend to have and don't lose a good one that you have over some petty gas money. Tell her how you feal. I mean she IS "your" friend and she will understand. Just ask her to pitch in for gas every now and then. I know you don't always give her a ride bc you said she would take the bus. So tell her your situation as a friend (on a sister level. bc I am more than sure that is how you view her and she most likely views you the same way) and just ask if she could give you like 5 bucks every now and then. If she gives you a hastle, then she is not a REAL friend and if she does not mind(which she shouldn't) then the situation should be solved. Don't lose a good friend over 5 bucks. it is not worth it. Take care hun!!

Answer 9

She didn't ask for gas money when you were taking turns driving, because it all evened out. Now that she has no car to be taking turns in, she needs to be helping with gas. Let her take the bus to some of these other places as well.

Answer 10

Tell her to pitch in for the gas. Here's the rationale..........if she does not have a friend like you, she would have to do all those things by public transport (alone) and that will still cost her money. So the money saved from taking public transport should go to you for giving her the convenience of transport by car and having you as her companion. If she refuses to pay, and you dump her, she will have much to lose ie a friend and good transport.

Go ahead, ask her to pay 50% of gas and 50% of any repairs. If she gets angry you asked, then dump her. She will be the loser, not you. You may think you have lost a friend, but in fact you are actually better off without such a "friend". Such an unreasonable "friend".

Answer 11

I agree with everyone that she should definately help pay for gas. It seems like you two are really good friends, and that if you explain it to her that you love her and your friendship but are starting to feel like a cab service, she will probably understand. Come up with some limits... maybe say you'll offer to take her grocery shopping or to the mall when you are going - but otherwise you simply can't afford it and don't want to lose a great frienship over it. She should understand and comply - I'm sure you would if it was the other way around.

Good Luck :)