I don't mind him talking to girls, and even his ex's...I just don't want him talking to 2 of them, since I KNOW they STILL like him. He doesn't care and it doesn't matter to him because he "loves" me and me only. But to the girls, they think if he talks to them, to them its leading them on, and it aggrevates me. I mean, its not just any girl, its girls he had relationships with, and they won't let go. If he stops, I thought it would do good for both of them, I mean, if he doesn't care why does it matter to him if they stop talking? (at least for AWHILE) He says they're more like neighbors, childhood friends and thats it. I don't like it period. They send him msgs on MSN and Myspace with no comment for me to see. Am I right?
2006-09-06 15:33:38 · 42 answers · asked by ruthteen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think you can forbid him to do anything. He'll do as he pleases (as he is doing). What you CAN do is vote with your feet. If he doesn't listen to what you'd LIKE for him to do, be willing to walk away. He might have one foot out the door himself anyway. It's best if you leave him first. If he doesn't follow you, then you'll know he wasn't the one.
2006-09-06 15:40:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I see what you mean, however, asking him to stop talking to him is maybe giving him an unfair ultimatum. You're asking him to cut off people in his life that he has not tiffs with, and that might be hard. At the same time though, you both need to come into agreement about how much of it your relationship can take and that you don't want it to come between the two of you. This is going to involve a little trust on your part and much honesty on his part. He'll have to be firm with the girls, letting them know that it's a privilege to have his FRIENDSHIP, and nothing more, if he respects you. That should do it, and if not, they're not respecting HIM, because he'll make his wishes known. But people in general resent being told what to do once they're past a certain age. Good luck.
2006-09-06 15:37:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
On one side jealousy is a terrible thing and stopping anyone from talking to an ex is not the right thing to do, but from what you've said, your man doesn't know the rules. He should not be messaging ex girlfriends (shane warne style). I mean a friendly chat in passing is fine, but if these girls like him, he is just leading them. You have every right to be upset and so do they. I think you're man just likes the attention. If you trust him and he loves you, you should try not to let it bug you. If he wanted them, he wouldn't be with you. But if it does bother you so much, then your man should repect your wishes. You should have a serious chat before it causes major problems.
2006-09-06 15:40:01 · answer #3 · answered by Miss Suki 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl I was in the same situation 2 years ago with my boyfriend who is now my fiance. Trust me it's ok to feel that way you are feeling and yes you do have a right to forbid him to stop talking to his ex-gf's, put it like this I bet you he would not like it if you started talking to your ex-bf's and I bet you he be real mad that he will want to stop talking to them just to get you to stop. If he really cares for you and you are the only one he wants to be with then he should respect your feelings, it might not happen over night it will take weeks or even months to stop. But make sure you tell him how you feel, because yeah it is leading them on. You should ask him do he still wants to be with them if not then he needs to move on and tell them to move on because if he continues to be all friendly with them then maybe he should be with them. Tell him it's ok to say hi and bye but that should be it. This girls still like him too what makes you think they won't do everything in their power to get him back come on. Plus imagine what these pigens are texting or emailing him. No you need to make it know that you don't like it and will not put up with it. Trust me this is the same thing I had to go through for 2-3 years so I know how it is.
2006-09-06 15:45:29 · answer #4 · answered by PurpleMoon031 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's simple. You obviously dont want them talking to him for fear that they're going to try and win him back or whatever. Well, it takes 2 to tango, so I guess the question is: Can you trust your boyfriend?
No matter how hard they try to get him back, if he is trustworthy, then he's going to tell them the answer is no, and you have nothing to worry about. If he isnt trustworthy, then the problem is bigger than just his ex's. I mean, if you cant trust him, it doesnt leave much to build a relationship on does it?
2006-09-06 15:37:58 · answer #5 · answered by azza 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone. You obviously trust him and that is a big thing. You cannot shut him off from every female in the world. If he truly loves you he will not come off to these girls as "available."
It is when he starts hiding stuff... is if I would start asking what is going on. If there is nothing going on, then he will have nothing to hide. Let the cards fall as they may. The truth will show itself in its own time.
My husband had girls calling him for years until we had our daughter. Amazingly, after he shared the good fortune with all his girl "friends", the calls seemed to just stop... go figure.
Good luck.
2006-09-06 15:39:56 · answer #6 · answered by ccarter313 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In that way yes. When you tell someone you forbid them them, its like the ultimate order, like you own him or something. Be nice about it, sit him down, and tell him you don't feel comfortable with him talking to those two because they still like him, and you don't trust them to not put you in a hazardous situation. But be nice about it, the more tense you are, the less you're going to accomplish. Forbidding him may just lead to him doing something to spite you, because thats MAJOR disrespect. Best of luck.
2006-09-06 15:37:56 · answer #7 · answered by theonewhoguides 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No offense meant but it is not right for you to ask him to stop talking to those two girls more so becausef they were his ex-girlfriends. Just give him all your trust. If he really loves you, he won't deceive you concerning not only those two women but all other women that he knows of.
Love relationships should not curtail anyone's freedom to do what he wants to do. Asking your boyfriend to stop talking to them is a direct curtailment of his freedom and sometimes, men don't want that. It turns them off at times and drives them away from their women.
If you really love him, let him continue his friendship with any other man on this planet for love does not have stop one's growth and development. From friends, we learn a lot. We experience a lot. We receive a lot. With friends, we grow and develop to become more sociable, lovable and supportive people. Friends are indispensable to any person who wants to share, to love, and to grow as a matured person. No man is an island so they say. Let him grow but let him grow with you who understands and supports him all the way.
With that attitude, he will love you more. With that attitude, who can take him away from you? Good luck.
2006-09-06 15:44:07 · answer #8 · answered by Ruzzo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey ma bey she still cares about him in a friendship kinda way and she's probably not telling you because she's scared that you'll think somethings up romantically...
2016-03-27 00:57:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl i have the same problems but he swears it all about me now. Yeah let him know that the past is the past unless he plans on going back he needs to lose communication with them. Or lose you. let him know that when he talks to other girls 9 times out of 10 they asking about you and yall relationship. Dem hoes just want to be nosey and know whats going on between you and him. Dont put up with that mess girl You a Boss!!!
2006-09-06 15:38:29 · answer #10 · answered by cupcake 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure you can FORBID him to talk with his exes, much like you might FORBID a small child from crossing the street without holding your hand. He will RESENT you treating him like that small child and he will be out of your life and back with one of those exes. Now, if you would rather sit down and talk to him and tell him that you feel uncomfortable with the closeness of the relationships he maintains with his exes, and you would feel much better if they weren't so close....he might respect your feelings and pull away from them. Or you can get to be REALLY jealous and possessive and drive him away for sure. Then, of course, there's always the physical response of kicking the crap out of those 2 nasty biotches....
2006-09-06 15:48:34 · answer #11 · answered by dathinman8 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋