I'm in a relationship with a great guy. The problem is that both of us have very strong feelings, even though we haven't been together long. That wouldn't necessarily be bad, but it's that we're having a hard time with our feelings, because we've both admitted that we're thinking long term. I think it is a little scary to both of us, because we didn't expect to find someone like the other. The biggest issue is learning to communicate early on, and that sometimes, he's wonderful, but then he pulls back and starts to over think everything. I admit that I do the same thing. It makes for some tense conversations sometimes, and I'd rather not have spats about our feelings, when I'd rather just go with the flow and not have it be so intense. How can we communicate better? I know this relationship could be so wonderful, and I don't want to give up on it for something silly. Anyone who has been married or in long term relationships would be helpful...seriously. Thanks.
2006-09-06 15:23:55 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I hope this might help, but here's something.
1. Listen, listen and listen, ask him what's wrong and really listen to his answer. Let him vent his fears, frustrations and other important feelings, maintaining eye contact and showing that you’re interested in what he have to say. Resist the urge to give advice, and just let him get it out.
2. Reframe What You Hear. Summarize and repeat back your understanding of what he is saying so they know you’re hearing him, and focus on the emotions he might be feeling.
3. Ask About Feelings. Ask him to expand on what he is feeling. Asking about his feelings provides a good emotional release and might be more helpful than just focusing on the facts of his situation.
4. Keep the focus on him and what he is saying. He will appreciate the focused attention, and this will help him feel genuinely cared for and understood.
5. Wait until he gets all his feelings out then help him come up to a solution both of you will feel good about.
2006-09-06 18:25:31 · answer #1 · answered by tainted_aven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only option for a successfull relationship is honesty. Especially at the begining when you are both so new to each other. You are both going through the same situation, just different issues. If you bring up issues when they come up and discuss them, they do not turn into problems. This is one of the best times in your life, try not to take it so seriously. If you truely are meant to be together, then you will. Try to keep things as honest and uncomplicated as possible and just enjoy being in love.
2006-09-06 15:29:34 · answer #2 · answered by Miss Suki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just relax and take it easy. Long term is probably in the back of everyone's mind sometime but don't dwell on it or else it will fizzle out quick. If you can't boyfriend/girlfriend very long then you would never have stayed married very long either.
2006-09-06 15:31:53 · answer #3 · answered by Matt M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you both need to relax and see where this goes .. if it is something long term thinking on it will just end it ... your guy needs to just go with the flow ... strong feeling tend to fizzle out quick if they over thought ... just let go and take a chance!! good luck!!
2006-09-06 15:27:18 · answer #4 · answered by emnari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-06 09:20:43 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋