Assume you just left your boyfriend of 8 years to "find yourself" and experience more of life before settling down. Your ex boyfriend tries getting you back and you only pull further away until finally you say we can't see each other for a while. A week later you ask to see him to drop some stuff off which is contradicting your last request for whatever reason.
Now this is where i need the advice, I still want her back but dont want her thinking i am her puppet waiting for my next command. She is NOT a manipulative b i t c h but does know i still feel strongly for her and is quite likely enjoying the extra attention.
Is it in my best interest to say i cant make it and to just drop the stuff off or should i go meet her for whatever reason? Gees im confused.
2006-09-06 15:07:41 · 7 answers · asked by whitey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah, I would go meet her if I were you. It doesn't sound to me as though she's messing you around. 8 years is a LONG time to go out with someone, and maybe she feels as though her identity is totally tied up with you, and she doesn't know who she is by herself anymore. I think it's a positive thing that she wants some time apart.
If I were you, I would give her some space, and you can use the time apart to do your own thing, too. You know, see your friends and have fun and stuff.
I don't think she'll see you as a 'puppet' waiting for a command.... If you both agree that you don't know what the future holds for your relationship. but that you'll both see 'what happens', then you're both in the same boat and it's not a question of just one person ( I mean, her) controlling the situation.
I think it's normal and ok for her to want some time away, and maybe when you get back together the relationship will be stronger than ever. If you support her in her decision to have some space, and you are loving and understanding of this, then she'll probably just LOVE you and be dying to be back with you after a couple months or whatever. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
2006-09-06 15:16:29 · answer #1 · answered by Cina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you appear to be a nice person - and unfortunately right now she ripping your heart out one vein at a time.
Typical girl lines that signal "red" banners (not flags)
* We've been together for a long time... lets see other people.
* Let's take a break
* Let's be friends
* You're a great guy... but...
etc.
You have been "had". The fact that after 8 years of a seemingly happy relationship she breaks it off and acts squirly... she has probably been cheating on you.
Why would you EVER settle for sloppy seconds. The most you will get out of it is lies, lack of trust, and probably a common strain of VD
Move on and don't look back. As for your personal belongings... have her drop it off at your parents or friends house. The only reason she wants to see you, is to make sure you don't have a girlfriend.
This is one of those cases where what is good for the goose is not good for the gander. She wants to keep the hook bated (keeping you under her thumb... basically so if the person she is having a good time with throws her to the curb - she has someone to go back to).
She will probably get sentimental and maybe even have a good time with you "for old times sake". You say she is not manipulative... Think again. Kick her to the curb and move on.
Right now she is playing head games, which is cold no matter how you look at it.
2006-09-06 22:31:24 · answer #2 · answered by ccarter313 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just drop the stuff off an go. Do it just like Minx said.
2006-09-06 22:14:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
drop the stuff off- she wants it.... go there with a smile on your face, show her youre happy, even if you arent.... she will probably end up realising she wants to be with you... but dont mention it... jsut drop it off, stay for a quick helo then leave.... leave her thinking you might just have moved on...
2006-09-06 22:10:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing. Asking you to see her to get stuff is not SEEING you....she has moved on. She has someone else. Don't meet her if you want to prove something. Meet her if you want honesty.
2006-09-06 22:11:12 · answer #5 · answered by steelypen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to come get it when she has time and dont be there have a friend there to give it to her. and if and only if she asks where u r tell your friend to say your on a date...
2006-09-06 22:10:00 · answer #6 · answered by Eastcoast beachgirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd help you, but I'm a guy.
2006-09-06 22:09:54 · answer #7 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋