my boyfriend has an ex girlfriend that he is still maintaining a friendship with. he is vague on the details of the friendship, and i have expressed concern as to why i haven't met her yet in 10 months of dating. he admitted that although he has no romantic feelings for her, she is still in love with him. i now consider this relationship inappropriate. problem is.. he does not. he intends on remaining friends with her, despite my insecurities. he tells me that she is absolutely no threat to me whatsoever. but i can't help but feel differently. how would you feel. am i overeacting?
2006-09-06 15:06:54 · 20 answers · asked by chwylvr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no you are not overreacting if she is just a friend he should be able to let you meet her you should pick up the phone introduce yourself and invite her for a lunch date dont mention your bf just talk to her like a friend
2006-09-06 15:09:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the relationship or you were important to him he wouldn't be treating you this way. If SHE...was not a threat to you...HE...would have introduced you two. It all sounds very suspicious (maybe he still has feelings for her)... I agree with the other answer... Find someone who respects you! YOU ARE NOT.....OVEREACTING!!. How do you think he would feel if it was the other way around? He would have dumped you.......a long time ago girl!! If you put up with this at 10 months..can you imagine what you can expect in the future?... You are better than that! Good luck!
2006-09-06 22:22:10 · answer #2 · answered by ..Luna.. *.. ) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt say you are over reacting in a gerneral sense. Do you think your boyfriend would have the problem if you were doing the same thing to him?
I would ask him to look at it in your Point of veiw. I would also be on my guard because you havent met the chick yet. I think he is asking you at the moment to trust him in a big way and you either have to go blindly or go with the hint of suspicion that could eventually cause a fault in your relationship. You have to tread carefully but cautiously. Dont be overbearing. I dont think you have a right to whom he speaks to as much as he doesnt have a right to tell you whom to speak to. I think you should try and explain exactly how you feel and why. If he cares enough he will listen and perhaps cut ties with his needy love engrossed ex. He may be holding on because he likes the extra attention or because he feels sorry for her. I would tell him that it is a bit unhealthy especially if she still loves him. I would take it as a sign he might be a bit more faithful to her. But ask him. Talk it out.
2006-09-06 22:11:32 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's hard to say. If your boy friend is loyal to you, then you have no reason to worry. One sided love happens all the time. I mean she can love him all she wants, but he is with you. I would suggest you just act nice to him, and just show him that you are better than her. That way she won't be on the way. Don't get him to break up his friendship w/ her. That makes guys very mad and there might be a chance that he might break up with you for that and you don't want that. So I suggest you don't let your insecurities stand in a way of a successful relationship w/ your bf.
2006-09-06 22:10:41 · answer #4 · answered by russianguyfrombrooklyn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hes lying to you ,, if he cared and it had no meaning,, hed let you meet her and maybe even go out,, but then again that may also be a ploy to get you to feel comfortable,, the reason he wont tell you about everything is becuase ,, 99.9% most likely they are still sleeping together as well and you just havent found out yet,,
2006-09-06 22:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by John C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wouldd feel so bad gurl u kno he is still in love with his ex girlfriend he just trying to tell u something different just seperat for a while then for sure he will come begging back for u and dont overact
2006-09-06 22:12:01 · answer #6 · answered by tweetybirdmall 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if was a real freind to her...and she still had feelings for him and he is no longer in love with her, then he wouldn't keep her around...becasue it will ultiamtely hurt her.
and on the other hand...you can't expecthim to do all kinds of things to ease your insecurities...those will be there with or without him. your insecurities are your own and only you can tame them.
2006-09-06 22:12:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not overreacting. I find that to be really strange--him maintaining a friendship with his ex. If he can't respect your wishes, then you should find someone who will.
2006-09-06 22:10:22 · answer #8 · answered by Miss J 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think he is a little too vague. If he is just friends with her, he would have introduced the two of you by now. I would be worried.
2006-09-06 22:10:37 · answer #9 · answered by lindalcc917@sbcglobal.net 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What he's doing is keeping her waiting in the wings in case things don't work out with you. No, I would not tolerate it. It's feeding his ego that she's still in love with him. He needs to move on.
2006-09-06 22:09:15 · answer #10 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋