I'll try to make a long story short. My EX and I were everything!! The best, happiest couple. I was is 1st love. We were together for over a yr. After that we seperated because of me...I wanted to be with him more than he was able to. He felt like I was chasing him, but I just wanted to be with him. So 5 months has past, and I'am still in love with him, more than ever. True love right! I tryd to meet new people but I just think of him. He's 21 and Im 20, he's not the type of guy to go chasing girls and being in one night stands, or getting a new girl friend right away. He only had 2 girlfriends in his life, and I was the only girl he really loved, and told that to. That goes for me to, I only been in one other relationship before, but Im in love still, I dont know how to move on. I broke his heart so many times, when i use to try to tell him how i feel he just crys, did I hurt him to much? Is that why he wont talk to me? what should I do???
2006-09-06 15:05:27 · 22 answers · asked by jackie b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Our relationship was good. No cheating, no fighting. But I got greedy..I should of given him more space, and time for his friends and family. He was my best friend, my lover, and I feel like it wasnt worth letting go. Everyone who knew us, could tell we were happy together and we could make it...I feel like its all my fault, and now look at me. I lost the most important person in my life.
2006-09-06 15:32:12 · update #1
I have a long story and I'll try to make it short too. Same situation, She was my first love, I was 20 she was 18. She was the perfect girl for me.....everything i have ever wanted in a woman. We dated for 2 1/2 years til I asked her to marry me.....She got scared and left me. At the time, I couldn't understand why....If you truely love someone, that love never dies and I loved her so much. Why did she and how could she stop loving me, especially when my heart ached for her. But we were young and hadn't really experienced other people and although that was not her reason for breaking up with me, it was valid as even though I loved her, I needed to experience other woman before I could truely appriciate her fully. That may sound dumb now but it will make more sense later. When she left, she totally disappeared, I mean she quit her job, moved out of her house and everything. She later told me that she did this because she didn't want to be tempted to come back to me.
Anyway, a year and a half goes by, and I'm still begging God to bring her back to me. I seen her a couple times through out our break up but never really talked to her this whole time. I dated a few girls here and there....Some I actually wondered about while were dating, and a few that friends and family set me up with....You know, cause they wanted me to get over her already! But none of them even came close to comparing to her.
One night, while i'm lying in bed considering my long heartache, I prayed for the first time for God to help me forget her.....Take her out of my heart and mind....I finally gave her up and ask God for His Will in my life.. That night she called me....I'm telling ya.....She called me that night! She told me that she just woke up from a dream that God would bless us if we got married!....The very night I let go, She came back. I drove over there still in my pajamas to ask her to marry me!!!
Now it's 13 years later, we have 3 daughters 10, 9, and 7. And we still talk about our little miracle all the time and what it would be like if we never got back together. We know in our hearts that the first love is always the hardest to forget and we're glad we did'nt have to.
Looking back, dating other people really gave me an understanding of what i had lost, and I have been and will always be a faithful husband.
So good luck to you and remeber that old saying....If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be.
Happy endings aren't always fairy tales.....God's Speed.
2006-09-06 16:06:35 · answer #1 · answered by jayster32 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets say you got back together...are you going to constantly worry that he's going to dump you again? And do you think he's going to constantly monitor you're clinginess (is that even a word??). Odds are, you broke up for a good reason. Maybe you should move on (okay...easier said than done) and learn from this past relationship. It sounds as though you've really broke his heart and he's not willing to have you do it again. He's protecting himself and if you truly love him, maybe you should respect him enough to let him move on. And of course, respect and love yourself enough to get over the heartache when he does move on. I am curious about one thing, though. You say you two seperated because he felt you were "chasing him." Then, at the end you mention that you've "broken his heart so many times." My advice may not be what you want to hear, but sweetie, I think you need to let this one go. It sounds best for the both of you. Best wishes!!
2006-09-06 22:23:10 · answer #2 · answered by Suse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunnie, if it's meant to be you'll end up together. I promise. He's young, and I'm sure after being in a relationship for so long he just feels like he needs a break. Even though he still loves you. The fact that he still loves you is probably why his emotions are telling him to avoid you. Guys tend to push their feeling aside because they're afraid. Build a healthy friendship.. really try to talk to him as a friend. Explain this to him. And if it's meant to be, in the end you'll end up more than friends. Good luck!
2006-09-06 22:12:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For what I just read, you are not in love, you are obsessed with him. When you love someone, you trust that person, you give that person their own space and you learn to understand that person's needs and commitments (job, school, family, etc).
I don't want to be rude to you, but I have to be honest, you need to GROW UP!!!!!! Just because you loved him, it doesn't mean that you have to be together all the time. It seems to me that you suffocated this poor guy.
So, my advice to get him back, is that you have to talk to him, ask him for another chance and PROMISE HIM (and keep that promise) that you won't behave the way you did before. Give him some space and TRUST HIM!!!. Now, if he says no, LEAVE HIM ALONE and move on!!! you'll find someone else soon.
2006-09-06 22:20:06 · answer #4 · answered by Susy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably won't talk to you because he might still love you, too. I would ask him if he wanted to meet for coffee one night, (or smoothies if you aren't a coffee person) as friends. As long as it's understood that you are meeting as friends, he might be more prone to meet. Discuss it with him, and explain what happened from your side. Tell him that you just loved him so much, you didn't know what to do with yourself, but now you see that your constant display of affection and how much you cared only chased him away, which was your worst fear, and see what he says after that. If he starts to cry or walk away, ask him not to, because you need to hear what he has to say about it. If my suspicions are correct, he'll talk it over with you, because he does still carry strong feelings for you. They say love is blind, but sometimes, everyone needs a second chance to make it right.
Good luck. <3
2006-09-06 22:15:28 · answer #5 · answered by Awesomeness!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to wait and see if he makes the move. It sounds like you have let him know you are still interested.
He may just realize that you are obsessive, and even though he loved you, he can't accept the stress and grief of trying to have a relationship with you.
I think perhaps you are more obsessed with him than you are in love with him. That's why you were able to do what you did to him. True love does not act like that.
2006-09-06 22:09:46 · answer #6 · answered by mia2kl2002 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you two are still young and he is not ready for a commitment yet. Why did you break his heart so many times? Maybe because of that he doesn't want to feel his heart broken anymore so that's why he doesn't want to be with you. Be strong and move on. In time you'll forget about him. Time heals all wounds.
2006-09-06 22:10:03 · answer #7 · answered by SimpleGurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends. If you still have feelings for each other, you may be able to salvage it, but I'm leaning towards telling you to move on. It all depends on how he feels, and if he won't talk to you, either he doesnt want to be with you, or he can't bear to do it again. And if thats the case, sry to say, you need to move on. It'll be okay in time, I promise. Best of luck, I mean that.
2006-09-06 22:13:02 · answer #8 · answered by theonewhoguides 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be patient and he will come around. If he does just be a friend dont try to rush things to become a couple again. He will realize that he loves and he will come back like they say let them go if they come back then they were yours since the beginning.
2006-09-06 22:09:39 · answer #9 · answered by Happy Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exactly how did you hurt him that has him in so much doubt about you...Someone else, maybe.
Did you play the jealousy game? You know the one...'I am going out with someone else, he was there before you' garbage. Did he catch you with someone else..?
Remember, men talk and brag about their 'conquests'. Were you someone else's conquest that got back to him...There is evidence of a lot of pain on his part.
Maybe, it's best just to move on with your life and learn from the experience.
2006-09-06 22:14:02 · answer #10 · answered by marnefirstinfantry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋