My son (a christian) is invited to a Bar Mitzvah. how should he prepare or paricipate?

Question

Should he bring a gift? How long does it take?

Answer 1

Yes, he should bring a gift, similar to a birthday present. The actual ceremony is usually Saturday morning, and will take all morning till early afternoon. The main celebration afterwards will take usually place that evening, it's called a "reception." The gift is appropriately given at that time, not during the ceremony. The reception usually takes all night ending late at night, sometimes after midnight. It's similar in importance and format to a wedding reception. There will most likely be a DJ or live music there.

When your son gives his friend his gift, the traditional Jewish saying is; "Mazel Tov." This means both "congratulations" and "good luck." Your son's friend will be impressed if your son learns this simple phrase and it will mean a lot to him to hear it. He should shake his friend's hand while saying Mazel Tov.

Dress is formal. Make sure your son wears a coat and tie to both the celebration and the ceremony. During the ceremony he will need to enter the synagogue and wear a head covering (like the Pope wears). He can bring his own hat or find a guest hat in the entrance to the synagogue. The hat is called a "Keepaw" or sometimes called a "Yarmulkah." It's worn out of respect for God.


Bar Mitzvah is a kind of a birthday celebration, too, coinciding with the thirteenth birthday of the participant. A very appropriate and traditional gift for a Bar Mitzvah is a savings bond, but since a Bar Mitzvah is similar in importance to a wedding, you might want to make it for a larger amount than for just any birthday gift.

It's considered a great honor to become a Bar Mitzvah. The participant sometimes has to study to prepare for the ceremony for up to a year, sometimes more. It's also an honor for a Christian to be invited to this solemn religious ceremony.

Your son may be invited to perform part of the religious ceremony, if he's a very close friend. This might involve holding the "Torah," or repeating some Hebrew blessings. This is considered to be a great honor, but normally is bestowed on family members, so don't worry! If he is called, just remember that it's a very solemn honor.

The ceremony sometimes will include several days of celebration. Friday night the synagogue may have a short minor ceremony, and a quick toast after the service. This toast is called a "Keedoosh," or "Kiddish." Your son probably won't need to attend this. Usually the main event is on a Saturday morning, which is during the Jewish Sabbath.

The participant will be called up to read from the Jewish bible, which is an ancient scroll of the Old Testament, but written in the original Hebrew. The scroll is called the "Torah" and considered to be a very holy device, and is treated like a precious King. It is even dressed in fine decorative robes and silver shields, and has a kind of a "crown."

After the participant reads the weekly portion or "Parshaw" from the Torah, it's a tradition in many synagogues to throw hard candy at the Bar Mitzvah Boy. Have your son keep some hard butterscotch or Cinnamon candies in his pocket just in case.

Congratulations on your son's invitation! I hope that he has a wonderful experience.

Answer 2

Bring a gift - I think the nicest thing I got from one of my christian friends at my bar-mitvah was a nice pen set that I had for years. The length of the service can vary depending on whether its an orthodox, conservative, or reformed service - longer to shorter. The bar-mitvah party after can last for hours. It should be a good time for your son.

Answer 3

He should dress nicely and bring a gift. Money is usually acceptable, I suggest a 20 or 25 dollar check. It will probably be three or four hours, the time depends on a lot of things though.

(Ignore the answerer above me, he doesn't have to shave his head or wear red, lol)

Answer 4

Sit, listen and learn. The Savior had to go through this same ritual when he became a man in Nazareth. Yes bring a tasteful gift.

Answer 5

Of course bring a gift..it is a birthday party. He will not be asked to participate in the religious part, and in fact, may not be invited to that part of the bar mitzva...but the party is great...he will love it. And it is fun to see other traditions, opens his mind to the world.

Answer 6

If your a Christian or your son is...Act like it. Go to the party , this will not make your son "un christian" I PROMISE..do you live in smallsville or somthing? Its 2007 are you a quaker? Odd question im sorry...Irael and the Jews arer your sons BIBLES PEOPLE you KNOW. The christian God is the God of Israel...Not the United States...some people forget that.

Answer 7

About an hour - I believe.

Bring a card, a gift and enjoy the festivities afterwards.

Answer 8

if you allow him to go, first he must shave his head completely bald. and being he is not of the hebrew faith he will have to wear all red. shirt and pants and jacket must be red. he may bring a gift only if it is some kind of live stock or something he makes himself out of manure. these rules vary depending on the family some more lienient then others tell him to watch his neck and have a good time

Answer 9

its a party.. take a gift and tell your son that he may learn something new. its a good thing for everyone to be exposed to different religions and cultures

Answer 10

it matters...

Torah reading- he should come well dressed(if he is going to a synagogue) he should also bring some money as a gift

if it is just a party, then let him just wear and be the exact same way as any usual party.