I have a boyfriend who moved away to California. He wants me to come live with him and I really want to but my controlling mom will freak out and have a heart attack and die. She has never been away from me and she gets upset even when i want to go out on a Saturday night. I am 34 years old and torn, I don't know what to do! I dont live with her I am a single parent. I think he should come back to be with me he thinks i should move where he is. He left here so i think he should come back. What do you think for 10pts!
2006-09-06 14:00:53 · 26 answers · asked by La La 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First off what I am going to say is not what you want to hear, but living together is not such a good thing and to top it off you have a child this is really not a good thing. Think of what you will be teaching your child. Even if you do go and do this, what happens if he decides you're old news and kicks you out? Strange state, no friends/family what then? That being said...
You are 34 with a child and you cannot allow your mother to run your life. If she is lonely, she cannot lay that on you and it is wrong of her to do so.
The descion is yours
2006-09-06 14:09:15 · answer #1 · answered by Martin M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think he should come back to live with u, if he is the one that left u, he should be the one to come back for u! if hes telling u to move with him, he might just want to make ur life miserable about all the things that will happen to u, like ur mom freaked out, and u moving far away as a single parent with the kids. i think u should talk to him and ask him about life in california, if its good then i think u should join him because he is finding a future for both of u, but if he is struggling and having a hard time around work and stuff, then tell him to come back because u dont want other bad things to happen to both of u
2006-09-06 21:07:03 · answer #2 · answered by Cecilia ♡ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should do what you want. You can't let your mom control your life. But then again u don't want to get out there and have to depend on him. How long have the two of you been together? How serious is your relationship? You need to know the facts before you can up and leave your life, freinds, family. I don't know where you live but it might be far...if you don't want to go then tell him. What did he move there for? A job? Ambishion? I mean it really depnds on what it going on with your relationship and how will you live/support yoruself. If it doesn' work out will you move back. You need to look at all aspects.
2006-09-06 21:04:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should consider yourself and your children first. If you're settled in the place where you live right now, the kids are in school, have friends, whatever then you should stay there. The bf should reconsider moving back to you because of the children. If you can safely uproot the children then move to California. Hopefully, the bf will foot some of the moving expenses.
Your mom's needy personality shouldn't figure into the equation at all.'
2006-09-06 21:09:34 · answer #4 · answered by Bluealt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear you're in a sticky situation. Honestly though, you are 34 and your mother should NOT have ANY control over your life! It isn't fair what she is doing to you. It's time for you to live your life and work towards a great future with your boyfriend. If you really want to move in with him, I say do it, but let your mom down easy. Let her know she can visit any time and you will do the same. Let her know she isn't going to lose you as you'll of course stay in touch with her. But also let her know that it is not fair what she is trying to pull here, IF it comes to that.
2006-09-06 21:08:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is that not his child? If he really loves you than an agreement should be met. If that involves you moving away then so be it. Like you said 34 and torn maybe this is what you have been waiting for. It is Cali we are talking about. Remember to do the best for you and your child. Good luck.
2006-09-06 21:07:54 · answer #6 · answered by pimpc6961 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you might first want to ask yourself this question: Is this man worth moving to California for? Is he someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.
If you answer yes to both questions, I think it would be a good idea for the three of you, boyfriend, you and mom, to sit down and figure out how to keep you all together. Not necessarily in the same state if that doesn't work out, but work out a way to visit or meet half way so she will not feel the loss of you and her grandchild.
2006-09-06 21:07:14 · answer #7 · answered by Stephanie H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends first of all I am guessing he not the father of your child or if he is he left you two to move and in both cases I think you should think about the child. I personally think he doesn't sound worth it because if you move you have to up root the child and for what something that is not guaranteed to work out and that can cause a lot of emotional stress for you and your child which in no case to me is worth it but on the other hand if you two have been in a long term relationships with no trust issues then depending on why he move maybe you should talk it out but before you do anything at all ask yourself is this man really worth giving up your life and your family to move with? i wish you the best of luck in what ever you chose to do and may God guide your heart to make the right decision.
2006-09-06 21:14:07 · answer #8 · answered by randrnorman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While it is difficult to think of, your parents are your past. They raised you, they nurtured you, and they are always your parents. But a husband is the future. If you look at it this way, you should move out to Cali with the mindset to make it work. Don't move everything out there until you are there for 6+ mos that way If it doesn't work out with your bf then you can always move back lightly and quickly. Don't be afraid of trying and taking a chance, be afraid of not doing something about your life and taking the easier way out.
Good luck with your decision and your life!!!
2006-09-06 21:10:06 · answer #9 · answered by ZIAGACITY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a decision you need to make on your own. Your mom is an adult and will have to deal with whatever decision you make on her own.
Do you want to move to a new area where you don't know anyone? Will living in California be better for you and your child? If your answer is no, then that is what you should tell him. Then, if he want to be with you, he will have to come back to you.
2006-09-06 21:05:57 · answer #10 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋