How can I stop my 3 year old from getting out of his car seat?

Question

My son is 3. When riding in the car he takes of his harness and gets out. I have punished him numerous times for this yet he still does it; what can I do to correct this? We do not take long trips (30 min. max).

Yes, I went to the police station and ask the child seat representative officer if the seat was properly installed; it is. My son is just acting up. Today while on the interstate he got out and I took the next exit and spanked him.

I'm getting some great feedback. Thanks everyone.

There are some excellent answers here. I'm going to put this question to vote.

Answer 1

My mum used to tell us that the car didn't work if our seatbelts weren't on. A few times we tested it in the driveway so she stalled the car. We got the idea pretty quickly. Maybe a modification on this idea would work for your son? Especially if the destination is somewhere he wants to go... stop by the side of the road, turn the car off and then pretend it wont start until his seatbelt is on and he promises it will stay on.

Answer 2

oh gosh that is scarry and distracting. I would say try a different car seat with a more complicated strap. Maybe he should move up to a booster seat, he might feel better in that. I know if you keep the boxes for car seats and a receipt they take the car seat back easily - especially at Babies R us. I would just keep exchanging once he learned how to open it. Maybe you can put a device on the lock, I don't knwo if they sell something at the stores.
I'm assuming you tried punishment- oh a good idea might be you tell him "ok we are going to the playground, if you open your car seat we are going home" and once he opens it just turn around and come home. For the next few days keep doing that where ever you go, don't plan on running any important errands so that turning around won't be such an inconvenience. Figure this might take a few days to do and alot of useless driving but it may fix him for good. Good luck, that's a tough one.

Answer 3

I would find a different car seat taht he cannot unbuckle, or find some kind of cover you can put over the buckle so he can't get at it (you may have to make something). Spanking will orbably not work. You may also want to let him have a toy or book in the car to keep him distracted. You could try singing songs or playing word games to distract him. I disagree with those who say you should threaten him with the policeman coming to get him. YOu do not want him to fear police officers in case he needs help from them someday. Your child should think police officers are there to help them and not unish them. Good luck.

Answer 4

Go to the store and look at the different types of carseats available. See what he may not be able to get out of. I wouldn't spank him, since its not really connected to the carseat. Children do better with dicipline that matches the crime. So maybe taking the carseat into the house durning some of his fun time and having him practice sitting in it for 5 minutes without climbing out for a time out.
Let him know how importent it is to stay in his seat.
Go to your local fire/state police/police station and ask if the have and 'expeirencer' this is a seat they sit the child in to show them what happens if they are unbuckled and there is an accident. My kids got the picture. They sit the child in it, strap them in, and send the seat forward.
Offer him a book, or small toy to use while your driving, maybe a small bag next to his carseat with a few items in it.
Good luck

Answer 5

He is doing it to get your attention. Hitting him isn't going to solve the problem...it is only going to teach him that hitting is okay when one is angry, is that what you want him to learn? Give him a warning when you first get into the car, "I will not tolerate you getting out of your car seat, if you do I am going to turn the car right around and come home and you will not be allowed to go in the car again until you can behave and stay in your car seat." Then follow up! If he gets out of his car seat do just as you warned. Take him home, leave him with a sitter or some trusted family member and go and do whatever it was you were going to do. If you were on the way to day care get him there and of course pick him up but do not allow him to go anywhere other than his doctor's appointments with you.

Answer 6

My daughter is only 14 months and does this. We have punished her and it doesn't work. We have resorted to putting one of us in the back seat with her when we can.

When we can't, we let her pick from a selection of toys that she can take that are "car toys" and she can only play with them in her car seat. She's young but she gets the idea that's for sure.

Maybe try rewarding your son, not every time but every once in a while so he's never sure when it's coming. That way he'll stay in he's seat to see if this is the time he gets rewarded.

(Important thing is you don't want to teach your son that police are bad and to be afraid of them. That's going to send a totally wrong message. Just a note)

Answer 7

As you can see, spanking doesn't work. hasn't changed his behavior one bit. In fact, it's let him know how important this is to you and that he can get lots of attention doing it. You can tell him you won't take him places he wants to go, when it comes up, because you can't trust him to follow the rules of the road.


I believe the best way to handle the car seat unfastening is that when you begin any trip, you tell him what you do to be safe in the car - you check the tires, the lights, and buckle your own belt and you will need him to buckle his or it's not safe to drive and so if he unbuckles, you will have to stop the car. Then, if he still does it, when it is safe, you pull over and tell him you cannot drive until he's belted in. Period. And then you sit there in a safe spot until he belts himself again. Each and every time. Without anger.

When he goes a whole trip without undoing, praise him. Tell him you admire his self-control and his respect for you and his helping the family by not hindering car travel.

Spanking doesn't work because it sets up an adverserial relationship where the child's resentment at being hit and disrespected causes the child to want to mess with you. Children who are not spanked, but who are lovingly guided with discipline, don't want to mess with you. (Unless the child's been in day care, because they're already detached from mommy and not motivated to please.)

Answer 8

First Of all you should not be taking your child in the car with you if he does this, every time you take him and he does do it take him home and explain to him he is not allowed in the car unless he stays in his seat.. do it on a day when you are not working, tell him you are going somewhere he wants to go, like the park, when he gets out of the seat, take him home and tell him why. spanking will not do it. you have to be the enforcer here, which means you will have to follow through when you tell him he will go home. it will take time, but he will stay in his seat.

Answer 9

We try to teach our children to behave and obey. When it comes to personal safety, they don't have a choice. We don't go through a ' training ' period , that puts their lives at risk. You can't reason with a 3 yr.. old like an older child.

We bought a different child seat. It is too dangerous a situation to continue.

You' re much more likely to have an accident looking back checking on him. Or being distracted.

Answer 10

My girls did the same thing and this may seem bad, but I was in a safe area and could pull over quickly and slam on the brakes, they were thrown to the floor (unhurt and it was in a van) and I made them get back in their seats. We live over 50 miles from some family and 100 from others so we take longer trips. They also watch Dora the Explorer and Little Einsteins where there is reinforcement for the seatbelts (Buckle up so we can be safe, etc). This helps in fact I got this tip from my sister whose children also did this she was able to pull over and slam on her brakes in a safe area and her child was thrown to the ground. As I buckled them back in I reminded them that staying in their seats and being buckled in was the safest possible place for them should something happen. I also had the benefit of having a police officer telling them that seat belts save lives.