accept the Flying Spaghetti Monster into your heart...he created the world for you and then you say 'ooooo, no i don't need you anymore, sry I'm gonna ignore you now.' What will you tell him when you get to heaven and want your beer volcano and stripper for 2 years? 'ooooooh, I'm sry I didn't believe, now give me my beer volcano.' Nope, sry that doesn't cut it with his noodly appendage...the only way is to accept him into your heart, DON"T MY FEAR TACTICS WORK ON YOU?!?!?....i mean...ummm....the noodly appendages love. Can't you see how abundant it is.
Plz..don't let this be you... when his FSM comes back to earth during the rapture I WILL laugh in your face. You still have time to get tht beer volcano..just do what I tell you.
RAmen!
2006-09-06 13:00:39 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
hahah levi i might convert.
2006-09-06 13:08:35 · update #1
It's people like you that makes heaven a real hell.
"heaven for climate, and hell for society"
Mark Twain, - Tammany and Croker speech
2006-09-06 13:05:57 · answer #1 · answered by Nefarious Eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Church of TheWorldIsMadeOfSnakeRibsism is the one true RIBligion. The Mongoose will surely come and smite thee if you do not accept Ultrasnake as your savior.
Everything in the world is made of snake ribs. These snake ribs are also made of ribs. But those ribs are as elemental as it gets. Not only are all physical things made of Ribs, but all abstract thoughts are made of Ribs as well, meaning that you could find a jar of Liberty, or literally buy happiness if someone were to find where they were located.
The supreme being in our religion is Ultra-Snake, a giant snake that is infinite. It seems to have no head or tail, because he stretches on forever. In fact, he actually has a head and a tail, but he is so infinite that no matter where you are you cannot see either one.
Ultra Snake, also known as The Prime Rib, is made of Ribs which are made of Ribs. His blood is barbecue sauce, which is also made of Ribs.
The way the world was made is very complex and will be described later.
Our savior is the Jesus Christlizard. Jesus Christlizard died for our sins by accidentally drowning while walking on water. Again, more on this later.
The enemy of Ultra-Snake is a mongoose known as The Mongoose. He lives in Mongoose's Domain, an abandoned Xanga site that never changes. This is where bad people go. It is worse than hell.
Theworldismadeofsnakeribsismists believe that once they die, they go to "Ultra-Snakes Super-Party of Awesomeness." This is a massive party which doesn't have enough drinks or seats. The name may make it sound like some kind of joke, but please respect this the same way you might respect a Christian's beliefs in heaven. I will also get into some of our rituals and traditions.
I want to stress again that I'm not kidding or anything. I hope I can help those who read this find a clearer meaning in life. And to those who don't listen, I hope to Ultra Snake that you will change your beliefs and won't end up in Mongoose's Domain.
PLUS:
Who wants hot beer, anyway?
2006-09-06 13:06:57 · answer #2 · answered by Levi T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My Friend, all will make it into heaven, for the Flying Spaghetti Monster is Infinitely Noodly and will accept people of all religions into heaven. I believe that if you follow His Noodliness, you get better strippers and beer in heaven though.
2006-09-06 13:24:14 · answer #3 · answered by Sparkiplasma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Prophet Bobby Henderson tells us that FSM Hell is much like FSM Heaven, only the beer is stale and the strippers have venereal diseases.
2006-09-06 14:28:04 · answer #4 · answered by Big_Drew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah great prophet of the noodly appendage, when if the book coming out. And then the religion. Sounds like a $$$ maker to me. then I can add it to my list of flushable holy books.
http://flushaholybook.com
2006-09-06 13:02:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went to your website and spent the next hour getting rid of a virus, I think that the flying spaghetti monster must be the anti-creator
2006-09-06 13:03:34 · answer #6 · answered by corvuequis 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The village down the road called and they want their idiot returned! Someone guide him there (with a swift kick in the **** to help him along).
2006-09-06 13:29:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ramen!
2006-09-06 13:04:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blah Blah
2006-09-06 13:02:54 · answer #9 · answered by Atheist Eye Candy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
RAmen
2006-09-06 13:16:29 · answer #10 · answered by Cartman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋