I have a five yrs old who really doesn't listen to me and have to repeat myself several time but also don't believe in spanking just time outs and they seem not to work either and she now goes to school and it's relaxing for me to know she loves school but now thinks it's ok to ask questions when other children are different than her and it's embarssing for me and her older sister tells me what she asks how can I break her from her bad habits she doesn't get it from me or other siblings and her father she see's 2 a month that also thinks he better than everyone and also has a drinking problem and told him it affects her mental/physically what can I do to make sure she know's wrong from right.
2006-09-06 11:35:09 · 10 answers · asked by siouxgodness 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I have a four year old son who is very well behaved, I believe he came to be this way because I try to be very consistent with him. Sometimes I have to repeat myself when he is distracted, but if I tell him more than once, I use the count to three method, if I get to three and he hasn't done what I have asked of him, he either goes into time out, or has something taken away: a toy, a TV show he wants to watch etc. I also always try to explain to him why a certain kind of behavior or action is unacceptable. I do believe in spanking, and have spanked my child, but only when he has done something extremely bad or dangerous. To me it is a way of teaching him that some things have extreme or hurtful consequences. I would never spank him for something minor, that would deserve a minor consequence to me. My son also spends two weekends a month with his father. Each time he returns things do get a little "set-back", but after a day or two he gets back into the swing of things and is very polite and well behaved. I also make sure that I recognize him for all of the positive things he does, I think this is a huge part of his behavior. All in all, be consistent, patient, and loving. And for your comment about your daughter asking questions when other children are different than here, Why is that a problem?
2006-09-06 11:53:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can see that this is really hurting you, because you love your daughter and you only want what is best for her. I think the best thing may be to share the load a little. Do you know an older person near where you live -- a grandma-type lady, maybe? If you can talk to her she can surely give you some real help. Not just advice, but help.
I think an older lady who feels like you do, that children need to learn right from wrong, would be very glad to visit sometimes and be another person around for your daughter. This will take some pressure off you, and also little children often will listen to older folks even when they won't listen to Mom.
I really think this will help you, and in many places there are people who are happy to help with this sort of problem just because they are also a bit lonely and they love feeling wanted. So it's good for everyone.
You can ask at your local community center. They often have contacts with volunteers who can help and usually it's free. They are often retired people who have lots of free time and just like being with people.
I sure hope this helps you. It's really hard bringing up kids and I know you are doing your best for them.
Lenky.
2006-09-06 18:54:27 · answer #2 · answered by Lenky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have one of those stubborn children. Time out does not usually work with them. When you put her in time out is it the room where you can observe what she is doing? A good thing to do would be to put her facing the wall in a room where you can see that all she does is look at the wall. If you send her to her room she can play with her toys and it is not really punishment. When she asks an embarassing question , quietly coming to her level tell her that this question is not a good question and you do not want her to repeat it. If you see that what she has said has hurt someone make sure she sees what she has done. You might say look at Sam's face. Does he look happy? You made him feel sad. Don't you think you should say you are sorry. She needs to be shown that her behavior hurts other people. You can also take away favorite play things. Be sure you explain in a 5 yr. old language exactly why you are taking the toy and what she has to do to get it back. Always praise her good behaviors. Remind her it is her choice about behaving or not behaving. Remind her to make good choices. I know it seems impossible but try to talk to her father one more time and have examples of her behavior to tell him or show him. But you will have to do most of the work 2 weekends a month is not enough time to get any real changes made. Sometimes little girls respond better to punishment that comes from Dad. You might try telling him that.
2006-09-06 18:54:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with the others....do not discourage your child from asking questions. It's okay to ask about someone that looks or acts different. Just be sure to answer in a way that lets her know it's okay to look and act different. People come in all sizes, colors, shapes and backgrounds. Try positive reinforcement instead of punishing. Find the good things that she does and make a big deal out of it. This works for my son.
In regards to her father, if he has a drinking problem why are you letting her see him without supervison? Contact an attorney to help you.
Remember your child will imitate you and learn from you. Be sure that you are setting positive examples and that your choices are good ones.
Good luck!
2006-09-06 22:59:23 · answer #4 · answered by sunshineathome74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not punish her for asking questions. How else is she supposed to learn? Answer her questions honestly. Encourage her to talk to you and ask you questions. This will help to establish an open line of communication in your home that will hopefully extend into the teen years. The questions may be embarassing to you, but how else is she supposed to learn and who else is she supposed to ask?
2006-09-06 19:11:20 · answer #5 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children ask questions, that is how they learn. How do you mean different? Colour, abilities? That's OK. perhaps you could tell her to ask you the question first.
2006-09-06 18:56:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
One of the best parenting books I've read was one of the "Love and Logic" books. Check your local library for these books, that's where I got it to read and it helped!
See also:
http://www.loveandlogic.com/
2006-09-06 18:41:50 · answer #7 · answered by John R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If time outs dont work, a tap on her rear end may get her attention. Don't expect her to reason like an adult. She isn't one.
2006-09-06 18:41:37 · answer #8 · answered by lynda_is 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
a good spanking always works
2006-09-07 07:21:17 · answer #9 · answered by Mandy1897 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes u need to spank a child although its good u dont but they learn best in fear ...sometimes u need to scream at them n punish them so they can noe their doing wrong..
2006-09-06 18:40:22 · answer #10 · answered by jaz 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋