Thanks in advace for your thoughts.
I know that some people believe that beginning to date again helps to complete the healing process, and I'd mostly agree with that.
My ex-wife still has some stuff to pick up from the garage (I had to change the locks on the house because she wouldn't return the key). So, there's a little "business" left to finish before I can feel she's out of my life. No biological children shared. She's been so awful just before and after the breakup that I'm not going to see the children either. I'm still bitter & have venom in the way that I talk about her if the subject comes up with friends or family. I don't have much experience (especially recent expience) with casual dating.
I've had some attention from women at bars, but that's where I met my ex, so I'm hesitant about that resource for dates.
Basically what might be my criteria for knowing whether I'm ready to date again?
2006-09-06 11:30:17 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I appreciate greatly the answers I've recieved so far.
2006-09-06 11:44:05 · update #1
Right now. Your free and single and can move on. Why wait?
2006-09-06 11:33:54 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are ready enough. Just keep in mind a new person in your life will not want to spend time hearing about your recent experiance (save it for a shrink) and try to keep your comments short when questions are asked. Be open and honest but don't pour out your heart. A bad break opens doors for a good relationship. So put a smile on and remember not to let fear retard your success. Someone out there is waiting for you to be an important part of their lives, be worthy of the role. As far as the stuff in the garage, give her a time limit to pick it up or call the salvation army (you will want to give her notice) or you can agree that it be put in a storage locker in her name only. A.S.A.P. It is sad about the children who are stuck in the middle of this whole mess, but rest easy, if your ex is half as bad as I can imagin, she will have shown her true nature to them by now, and they won't hold it against you if you decide not to come around. As time goes by they will recover from this, and so will you. The best way to prevent your spirit from being corrupted by the venom and bitterness, is simple FORGIVE her. Never you say? Well I'll tell you what, it is the best cure for what ails you. I know from experiance. The worst possible thing happened to me and I kept anger in my heart for over a decade, until I learned the benefits of forgivness. Look up the definishion in several resources and once you really know what it means, I bet you'll be willing to try it's healing power. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. believe me it works wonders. Then you can go into your next relationship stronger and wiser than before. As far as your dating experiance, well hold your head up, look people straight in the eye, and go for what you want (never settle) just because you need a companion don't take what you can get, go get the girl you know in your heart is the one for you. Dating is just a means of company until you find your real mate, so date, date, date,! Your not wife hunting, your just hanging out with someone of interest, to pass the time away and enjoy each others company, while engaging in a social activity. Don't worry, be Happy!!!!!
2006-09-06 19:07:31 · answer #2 · answered by A Friend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought that too, I didn't want the divorce she did. I went out on my first real date 10 months after we separated. Then to only find out the woman I went out with was married! But now it has been two years and I am finally over the fact that we will never be together again. I feel free to some point, I am 41 and I have been going out with a 19 year old woman....of course it's all about the sex. Something I forgot existed! If you haven't try to meet local women through on-line dating. It's a great way to meet people! Good luck!
2006-09-06 18:41:55 · answer #3 · answered by Adam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are divorced you are not married. You are single. You can date whenever you want. It is none of your ex-wife's business.
The women you meet in bars are the kind of women who hang out in bars looking for men. You already know that.
As to when you are ready to date again, only you can answer that question.
2006-09-06 18:33:32 · answer #4 · answered by WendyD1999 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait until everything is out of your home before you start dating. The best gauge would be by how you feel. If you feel ready to go out and start meeting people then go. If you don't -then don't. There is no correct time.
2006-09-06 18:33:34 · answer #5 · answered by OohLaLa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do need time for yourself after one broken relationship before going into another. Otherwise you will take out your frustrations and anger out on the new one. When you are happy with being alone and dont "need" to be in a relationship.... its time. Dont date because you are lonely! Good luck to you.
2006-09-06 18:34:21 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no prescribed time line to follow. You will just simply know when it is time. Meanwhile, just go out and enjoy your life again and become a happy person that someone would like to date.
2006-09-06 18:33:51 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! Enjoy being single again and get out there immediately. Just don't settle down right away and be upfront about that with the women you date. Enjoy yourself.
2006-09-06 18:33:16 · answer #8 · answered by medic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think 5 minutes is long enough to wait.
2006-09-06 18:31:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are mentally over her, no need to start a relationship if you still have feelings for her.
2006-09-06 18:32:45 · answer #10 · answered by YAHOO SUCKS ASS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋