Women, please i do need your advice on this one.?

Question

So we were together for six years. I was 16 she was 18 (approx) and it was like a romance story out of a book, we use to spend hours on the phone and well you know the love was there. We always spoke about how we wanted to get married, what we would name our kids, and so on. However, her parents did not like me much (at all). The tough part is im not a bad person her parents new that i am a university student, i have a decent job i dress pretty good and i go to church where i am a musician. BUT HER MOM did not like me. Anyways, then when i enlisted in the Army things really got bad. While i was at basic she met the other guy. When i found out i cried and went through the whole deal you
know. So, she told him we were together so long that she decided she would continue with me. But, i found out she kept looking for him, and then out of the blue she began telling me to leave her alone, she then began to bring things from the past to paint a bad boyfriend picture of me, and after crying

and going through the whole deal, i then told her. "This is the last time i call you or look for you," and so i did. I later found out she began a relationship with the guy, he would go to her house everyday, be alone with her in his house and crap like that. So, months passed by and as i found a way to cure the pain i began to party, i went to alot of clubs met alot of girls ten times better looking than her and stuff like that, and so the months went by. Now out of the blue my nephew called me and told me she went looking for me crying and sobbing to my older sister who gave her my number, so she called me a couple of days later, i hung up. She called back and left a song i use to sing to her on my answer machine. What should i do?

Answer 1

I am sorry. I understand you are telling the story and asking for advice. I wouldn't give her a second chance. Since she acted that way before, she might do it again. It is totally your call. I have found that once someone cheats and tries to come back, it doesn't work out.

You sound like you were very very hurt because your love and trust were broken into pieces. It is up to you if you can pick up all those pieces of pain to try again. Personally, I would pray about it, (and I will pray for you for strength and wisdom). I wouldn't do it. I know there is probably someone out there picked out for you just by the man above.

Big hug to you.

Answer 2

I'm an army wife and there are two ways you can look at this. One, while you were gone she felt the need to be with someone else. This isn't necessarily a good sign for a future spouse. Two, she might have felt like you would find someone else while you were gone and would fall "out of love" while you were at basic- women are insecure that way. But I doubt it, since she carried on with him after. If you DO decide you want her, lay it out straight for her- there will be months you are away (training) and years you will be away (deployed). Tell her that if it is going to work that she has to be loyal through all that. And tell her it WILL be hard. if you don't think you can trust her through that, don't do it. You can meet women in the army as well that can be with you more, in your unit even. If not, you can meet women where you are that might be more capable of dealing with it. And, parents do matter. I am not seeing this as a healthy relationship- her to come running to you just cause she gets her heart broken. I think you can find better- even if you love her. And, because she is older, she should be more mature by now. It sounds like she was goign with you out of familiarity and that isn't good. You need someone who loves you ad can be a strong spouse no matter where you are. I think you can find better, don't doubt it. But...you probably won't meet them on curves. Look for the type of spouse where they are likely to be. Good girls don't get drunk at pubs. You can find a good one. And I think you can do better.

Answer 3

Girl is trouble. Shes just messing with u. I need u to think real hard on all the things she has done to u, and tell me if its worth to bring it all up again. U need to make her understand that things have changed, that she cant just walk in and out of ur life like that. I feel so bad for u, i can just imagine all the pain ur going throw and I wish i could help u in some other way. I know its going to sound all weird but im here for u. ok. Hope every thing turns out ok.

Answer 4

What do you want to do? I don't know her. You guys are young. She may have made a stupid mistake and learned the error of her ways. Only time will tell (that is if you are willing to see). She had never really had much of a dating experience and she was being pressured from her mom (and others I am sure) about you going into the service and never coming back. If she was older I would say no way but for now I say take it slow and PRAY!

Answer 5

hey
well do you still have feelings for her???
if you do... well it would be a tough call for you. But you guys have known each other for a long time so maybe she has some serious problems which she needs your help for. So just hear her out. But dont let things become emotional again.... atleast till you know how things stand between both of you. Just help her out as an old friend.

Answer 6

I would let it go. She left you for another guy and hurt you very bad. Why did she call? Was she so lonley because she got dumped and now wants you as a back up??? You're better than that and deserve a woman that will treat you with respect. Move on,there is better fish in the sea.

Answer 7

well give her a chance to explain things then move on if you have to, but partying wasn't a good idea of moving on. bt from what i know, just call her back and talk to her and see the problem if there is no problem well leave, but be the man you have become and talk, i know it hurts but that is what you have to do or else it will haunt you for the rest of your life thinking about what she had to say on the other line when she called you, so just pick up the phone and talk to Okay

Answer 8

Closure is difficult to find. Sometimes you have to create your own. It is fair for both of you to explore other options in dating since you were so very young when you originally got tied up together. Parent's opinions matter since it means their approval or disapproval, however their approval does not guarantee long term happiness. That is up to you both. Find her. Or at least call her and ask her probing questions. Get the answers. You don't need a "what if?" situation on your hands. Swallow your pride.

Answer 9

DO YOU LOVE HER? I think ya do, you had to party to get her out of your head. You were away, which you thought was the reason she should wait for you, and she was lonely. Plus her mom was probably all for this other guy...

I think if you still love her, or think about her then call her back. Don't think it'll be all smiles and everything, you need to discuss things. Feelings, since you used to already, but maybe it'll work out. And maybe it won't.

Answer 10

Since you go to church, you need to be praying about it. Outside of that I'd say don't give her the time of day. Move her along quickly, and find some TRUE happiness for yourself, not just in a bunch of loose women.