I am inlove with my best friend but he is gonna marry someone else. should I tell him how I feel or keep it to myself. I really want him bad, I want to be his wife, but I dont want to ruin our friendship either.
2006-09-06 09:47:40 · 21 answers · asked by jamgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First of all, you can't stop the wedding. It's up to him and/or his fiancee.
Examine yourself really well. Talk to a counselor or a trusted relative or a really close friend who can keep her mouth shut. See if you really want to take this risk? Do you really love him that way? Are you just jealous or envious?
Which would be more painful: not to tell and wish you had, or tell and risk losing his friendship? Which route would be more "worth it"?
If you decide it's worth the risk, take him to a "private spot in a public place", like a restaurant or the park, and lay it all out before him. Don't act desperate; just share your feelings with him, including your doubts if you have them. Give him room to express his feelings. Do NOT try to seduce him, and do not let him seduce you, even if he says he feels the same way.
If he says no to you, keep a civil relationship with him if you can, but distance yourself a little, at least emotionally. Learn to treat him like a brother or cousin, and his wife like a sister-in-law. Don't drop him like a hot potato unless that's all you can stand. In either case, send a wedding gift or a card. Attend if you're invited, if you can enjoy yourself in spite of it all.
Whatever you decide, good luck and God bless. Oh, yeah--pray before you act!
2006-09-06 11:05:37 · answer #1 · answered by MNL_1221 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aww hons, sorry to say this but, you dont want to spoil your friendship by telling him how you feel because its obvious that his feelings for you are friendship and nothing else, otherwise he would have hooked with you in the first place. There is no way that you should stop the wedding, that would cause lots of hurt for lots of people, you just have to be extremely happy for him and extremely grateful that you have him as a friend.
2006-09-06 10:02:21 · answer #2 · answered by tracy r 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow...I strongly suggest NOT saying anything to him...it's not fair to him. It's too bad but he's already chosen this woman to marry and now you're just gonna mess him up. If you loved him, you should have said something earlier...not now...not when he's going to get married. As his best friend, you had plenty of time in the world while you two were hanging out, but you're waiting till the last minute? That's selfish because you're only thinking of yourself and not him, not his family, not his bride, just yourself. Be happy with your friendship and thank God that you still have that.
2006-09-06 09:58:19 · answer #3 · answered by Jules 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, keep your mouth shut! If he loved you, he'd have has asked you to marry him instead of his fiance. Whether or not you express your feelings now will not change the fact that he chose someone else. And you WILL ruin the friendship.
2006-09-07 03:13:27 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO not object to the wedding because theres a 50% chance that you might just end up making yourself look stupid lol....but DO tell him how you feel asap BEFORE the wedding. Maybe if he does not feel the way you want him to then you guys can remain friends and forget the whole ''feelings'' thing. *Real* love is always mutual though....remember that. Youll see :)
good luck
2006-09-06 10:55:05 · answer #5 · answered by Fearfully & wonderfully made 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hold on !! Involved how ?
Either way he made the choice to be with her and asked her to marry him not you , maybe you guys are better off as friends and not as life long pardners , you can talk to him about it but don't ask him to make a choice
I wish you luck , i know it's gonna be hard !!
2006-09-06 12:23:34 · answer #6 · answered by ELEN G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard the saying " That when you snooze, You lose"
When a person is schedule to get married, It means they are in love with that person! Thus the marriage!
If you tell him now, you'll no longer be able to call him your best friend, most likely!
2006-09-06 11:33:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you should tell him if you feel this strongly. If you keep it to yourself you might regret it later. I would just go out with him one night (both of you drive, and not at a Public place) and tell him how you feel. Don't tell him he has to choose her or you because then you might not have a friend at all just tell him you love him but if he still loves her then you will respect that but you had to let him know in case he felt the same way. Just be honest with him. It will be tough and maybe akward but if you don't then you might do something worse later. Good luck with your situation I hope it all works out for the best for everybody.
2006-09-06 09:59:26 · answer #8 · answered by glitter3317 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First of all.. How does he look? ( Does he look in love) if he does leave it alone. Even though it will hurt. How long before the wedding? I think he needs to know how you feel or it will keep hurting inside and you will feel crazed every time you see them. if things dont work out .....Just talk to him with full honesty! If hes your best friend he should understand.
2006-09-06 11:17:04 · answer #9 · answered by Khat 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your a little late on telling him your feelings. If you where going to then you should of before he planned on getting married. Find your own man sounds like this one is spoken for.
2006-09-06 09:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by cin_ann_43 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋