so to speak mental incapasitated...why don't nosy nellies leave it alone??? i will run into people in the mall, or shoe store that barely know me...and NOT HIM...and they will ask...."oh, how's he doing?" i mean it has been 25 years ago and that is rude of them i feel...why don't they just let it be??? it did not happen to them...Why would they want to know anyways...they don't call or visit...Is my answer a good one..."oh, my gosh, we never talk about him or that PAINFUL time..." we have just had to move on>>>"...Now wouldn't you get that??? it frustrates our family and make us re-live those horrific times...please help!!! i am sick of them!!!
2006-09-06 09:24:12 · 6 answers · asked by sweet 4 in Education & Reference ➔ Other - Education
Your question is a little difficult to understand but i think I do. If you feel that their curiousity is more of a hypocritical asking and they are not really concerned, just be blunt and say that "this stuff is too painful to talk about. I do not want to discuss it". You'll just have to take the bull by the horns and be rude. They will all get the idea. Or else, send out a mass mailing to everyone and tell them all to not mention it to you again. And be done with it.
2006-09-06 09:41:37 · answer #1 · answered by Tony T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are all kinds of wierd people out there. If u can Look them staight in the face and say something like "Well,le't see if u had been by lately to visit u wouldn't have to bother me with a question like that? Or come up with something off the wall and maybe they will just start leaving u alone. LIke "Oh, I'm sure u know since u are so concerned u call or come by quite often? Sorry that people in this world are so cruel.
2006-09-06 09:30:26 · answer #2 · answered by confused/hurt/angry 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I assume these people already knew it was permanent brain damage. If that's the case, they're not asking because they actually care, or out of curiosity, but because they think it's polite to ask. In that case you would be polite to simply state "His condition has not changed. Thank you for your concern."
When you reply "Oh my gosh, we never talk about him or that painful time. We just have to move on," it might actually kind of make you look heartless and then they might talk about you behind your back. People will use any little tidbit like that to gossip.
2006-09-06 09:34:39 · answer #3 · answered by farmgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately they feel sad about the situation and (maybe) pitty. So whenever they see you, they feel obligated to say something about the sadness, because they think it would be supportive. But I agree with you. People think they are being nice when they are symphetazing but it gets annoying.
All I can recommend is to move to another city or tell those people that next time you hear them say similar things, you'll never talk to them again?
2006-09-06 09:33:49 · answer #4 · answered by applejuice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my cousin and my aunt to brain cancer (mother and son) over 8 years ago.
I get frustrated with people, whose faces change as if to soften to show respect.
When my cousin was alive, no one ever talked TO him at church. They talked around him. When he died, my aunt and uncle moved away. When she got sick, she didn't want anyone to know she was dying, since she was another state, they just didn't tell us. One day, she was gone...
That is hard enough let alone having to hear fake sincerity.
I wish I knew of something for you to say to them.
2006-09-06 09:33:28 · answer #5 · answered by Gothic Martha™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They ask because they are trying to show compassion and caring. For you and your family to think that is rude or offensive is ridiculous. Be glad people care enough to ask.
Chow!!
2006-09-06 09:33:30 · answer #6 · answered by No one 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋