Am I being Ungrateful??

Question

We were celebrating my son's 1st Birthday and we had invited some of our closest relatives. Well, my wealthy uncle who is also my Godfather gave me an envelope for my son. When I got home I opened it and it contained a Target gift card so I went to take my son to the store to buy something only to find out it only had a balance of $10.81 that was previously used. I got upset and a bit sadden that they would give my son who never did anything and is so innocent a cheap hand-me-down gift card. I felt so insulted that I just threw it away. Should I be mad?? Thanks 4 your input!

It would have be funny to give it back to him come his Birthday!! LOL!!

I could care less about the money, I have that. What I don't like is the tackyness that went along with it. If he brought nothing that would have been just fine!!

Answer 1

yeah, i totally understand where your coming from. It would've even been better if he gave your son $10 on the gift card, but since it was $10.81 you know it was used. That is very tacky. Its just the sheer fact that he gave your son a hand me down! I would be mad too.

Answer 2

This seems like such a horrible error in judgement and etiquette that I can't help but think that a mistake has been made here - either your uncle had a second used card that was mistaken for the card he intended to give, or that there was a miscalculation when the amount was transferred over to the card, or that someone had used the card without his knowledge. I can't imagine that anyone would feel it appropriate to give a used gift card as a present.

With that being said, this seems to be such a delicate situation that I don't know how it could be approached. You can't exactly walk up and ask your uncle, "Are you such a callous swine that you gave my son a used giftcard?" I don't even know how one would broach the subject with him in a polite way, because it doesn't seem polite to me to ever question the intentions of a gift.

However, in this situation, I do feel there is some necessity to know. This is just an appalling situation. If there was some sort of intermediary in the family, perhaps your parents or your grandparents, perhaps you could find a way to broach the subject with them, just by saying, "I don't mean to be speaking ill of anyone, but I believe a mistake may be made..."

After all, if the error was in programing the gift card, or something similar, then not only have you lost trust in your uncle, but he's lost the money he intended to give for your son, so you've both become losers in this situation.

Unfortunately, in a moment of anger, you've thrown away the card, so I don't know what the recourse would be if the error were actually on the part of the store. It's understandable, I probably would have reacted similarly, in the circumstances, because it does seem so terribly rude based on appearances. But I can't help but think that this has been a sad mistake.

Answer 3

I agree, it is pretty tacky. A gift card is rather an easy out, but maybe he honestly didn't have any idea what your son would like or need. And maybe he feels that children shouldn't be spoiled with large, expensive gifts, even by those who can afford it.

It is also possible that the gift card wasn't previously used; perhaps he deliberately chose that amount. $10.81 covers the tax of a $9.99 item. Target has a lot of items that cost exactly $9.99, and maybe he though it would allow you to choose the book/movie/cd your son would enjoy most.

It's quite likely he was just cheap or lazy or unthinking, but if you've previously had a good relationship with him, give him the benefit of the doubt until you find out more. Try asking a sympathetic relative to play detective and find out if this is his standard gift for children.

Answer 4

Yeah that is a little shady but since your son is only 1 he does not know the difference between a 10 dollar gift card or a 100 dollar gift card. Now does your uncle always give cheap gifts? If so then I guess you could expect to continue to get cheap gifts. I don't think you are being ungrateful I just think your feelings got hurt. Next time don't expect to much from your uncle it will be a lot less shocking if he does that again.

Answer 5

This is very bad manners. The amount is not so offensive as the fact that he gave you a previously used gift card. I think you need to tell him. I sense there may be a mistake here! It seems like there may be a misunderstanding. Perhaps it was stolen and put back, or the card got mixed up with another one. When you ask him about it, and let him know you think it was used or stolen, if he used it, he will also get the idea that this is unacceptable, and should feel ashamed.

Answer 6

Could it be that he has given you the wrong Target gift card? I'm not sure what it is, but I assume it's something you buy and then you can spend the amount on the card in a certain store. Maybe he got one from someone else and gave you the wrong one? Or has he always been like this. Did you get bigger birthday presents from him? If you did, then maybe this was a mistake.

Answer 7

It isn't the meager amount that should be insulting -- it is the elemental thoughtlessness. A half-used gift card is the lowest form of re-gifting. Get mad, readjust your expectations for the uncle's participation in your life, then get over it, because in the big scheme of things, it doesn't matter much.

Answer 8

Maybe he's wealthy because he doesn't over indule people?

I see your point- sorta but what would you have expected him to give? A one year old cares more about the box and paper that something comes in more than the gifts anyway.

Answer 9

i think i'd be insulted too. *but*....if u expect too much, u will be disappointed....therefore, now u know that ur wealthy godfather probably is not always accountable, nor will he give extra as good will. therefore, do not take it as something negative, but rather that u "know how he is" and will expect less and less from him as your son grows. remember, expectations and respect go hand in hand..the more u expect from someone usually means u feel he or she is able to Fulfill those expectations!! if he was poor, or a scrooge, u would hardly have had expectations from him. so, it is he who is losing your faith in him, and u don't have to do anything extra to think badly of him.

Answer 10

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