I'm a christian I've been really struggling weather or I should leave my husband. I've been holding on thinking he would change, but he hasn't. The Bible says it's a sin to get a divorce. I just don't know what to do. I have three boys I have to think about. I want to do God's will and not what I want to do.
2006-09-06 08:31:13 · 55 answers · asked by angeleyes 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I am not telling you to leave your husband, but I am a Christian that left her husband because of physical abuse. I've never regretted it, in fact, new doors were opened to me and I now have a wonderful husband. That was in the early 80's; my daughters are now grown, and lead healthy, happy lives (I know they would have lead disfunctional lives had we remained in that life style). Although I've studied that scripture, I am not positive about the divorce issue (except adultery, you are free to leave), but adultery also means false religion and idolatry. I have studied the Bible deeply for years, and there is more to that verse. The Bible also says:
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Col 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
My first marriage was so violent, I didn't care about if it was a sin (at that time, that is). I, and I am not speaking for God, think the Lord helped me get out of that situation.
I wouldn't want to mislead you, but just pray about it; I will pray for you, too. God bless you and I know what you are going thru.
2006-09-06 11:15:32 · answer #1 · answered by Donnalah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is tough. It is hard on you and hard on the kids. It scars people for decades if not forever, and the scars can be deep and extensive.
Ignoring for now the spiritual side, you really should be talking about this with a trusted counsellor. Having someone else helping you can really help you to find a working plan and help you analyse options and potential results.
Now- for the spiritual side. OK, it is a sin. So? It is not the unforgiveable sin, and it is not an abomination to God. Sin is those things that seperate us from God- is this marriage really helping you relate to God in the way God deserves or wants? The marriage may be the sin in this case, and divorce the first step in forgiveness.
2006-09-06 10:12:45 · answer #2 · answered by Madkins007 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no where in the bible that I can remember it says that it is a sin to get a divorce. Actually I really don't beleive God wants to stay in a marriage that you are getting hurt in . Believe it or not wants will is for you to be happy and have faith in him. I don't know what religion you are but God doesn't want us to sufer . That is why he gave up his one and only son so that we could wash away our sins and have a place in heaven with him. Actually in the Bible it says that the husband is suppose to treat his wife with respect , I know God says to turn the other cheek but if you have been at this for 9 years then you really have no other cheeks to turn. And your sons , I am sure they would rather see you happy and besides why would you want them around your husband all he is going to do is teach them that woman should be abused and treated w/o respect. You are not breaking any rules in the Bible if you divorce ( I have read it 5 times trust me I should know) . Coming from another christian woman leave your husband , take your sons to church and be happy with the wonders God has put on this earth for us to enjoy. You and your sons deserve better and that is what God wants. Hope this helps,
2006-09-06 08:47:30 · answer #3 · answered by MAS 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you also need too think about what kind of example you are setting for your boys. The bible also says what he is going is a sin. I hate too tell you this but unfortunately most abusers don't change. I have been abused by a boy friend once when I was much younger and it was horrible. Are you sure he will not try too stop you. You should leave. But it will take every thing you got too do it. God does not want his children too grow up in a abusive home.
2006-09-06 08:43:58 · answer #4 · answered by Sara M 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In the book of Matthew chapter 19, God talks about divorce & there are 2 reasons why he would allow you to divorce, marital unfaithfulness, & a non-christian spouse who is not allowing you to move forward in your faith. As far as him being abusive, you really need to get out. Even if it's just separation for now until he can get help. Have you involved the authorities? There is plenty of support out there for you and your children. He obviously has issues and it probably goes way back to him being a child. It could also be generational. (In his family) He NEEDS HELP and while he is getting it, you need to protect yourself and your 3 boys. If, at that time, you have exhausted all your resources, and, he has not changed, then I would move forward in divorce, but, only until you have tried everything you possibly could to save your marriage. There is no reason you should be subject to the abuse & held under captivitey to it any longer. 9 years is too long. Stop him now. It will take lot's of prayer, but, you and God are a majority and he will direct your path. Just trust him.
2006-09-06 08:54:02 · answer #5 · answered by Kathy L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is sinful, but what about Seperation? It would be prudent in the eyes of any religion to distance yourself from an abuser by seperation, which is okay. During the seperation make it clear that your spouse get both spiritual and psychological counseling for the abuse before you even talk about getting back together.
Divorce hurts children the most. It is selfish, but allowing children to witness abuse is not okay. So, it looks like you should first seek to seperate and encourage your spouse to get the needed help. Children do need a healthy home with both mom and dad to live in.
2006-09-06 08:53:58 · answer #6 · answered by SeraMcKay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a Chrisitan too...
Actually its not so much that its a sin directly against God, But He hates divorce says in Malachi, but because of the evil ways of man, it happens, but He doesn't like it because that's not how he designed it. He designed marriage to be a glorification for Him, not for a husband to abuse his wife. Why do you think Jesus is "the groom" and the church is "the bride". He loved us selflessly, it was and still is a self-sacrificing love from his part, the same type of love your husband is supposed to give you. If divorce is a sin, yes God will of course forgive you, but He Loves you, God that is, and does not want to see you suffer anymore. if God had it his way, you wouldn't be suffereing but, he gave all of us free will, so this abusiveness is happening because of not following God's will, because of the evil of humans, of your husband. I'm not married so perhaps I don't know exactly what to do next, but perhaps have a "temporary" separation for now, and pray day and night (how you should have already been doing), and perhaps God will work out a miracle, mabe He will touch his heart. He is all powerful, he can do it.
So in the future you could have a really happy marriage where your kids could have both their parents... because it would suck for your kids to have a divorced parents like so many people out there. But its worse if he keeps abusing you... so don't stay there any longer if nothing's gonna change, God wants his daughter to smile.
seek God, he WILL listen... he is listening right now.
seek his help
He's just waiting for you to ask.
He wants you to be happy, and your kids too.
He doesn't wanna see you suffering.
2006-09-06 08:48:24 · answer #7 · answered by I am using the 32 characters ari 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Get a divorce. It's not a sin to get a divorce. You have value and worth. No one has the right to treat you the way your husband is treating you. God wouldn't want you to put with that crap. Your husband will only change when he realizes that what he's doing is wrong and gets help to learn to how to control his emotions and communicate his feelings in a more approriate way. By staying you're teaching your boys that it's okay to treat people (especially women) the way your husband treats you. Get out and give you're boys a chance to grow up in happy, stable, positive environment.
2006-09-06 08:48:11 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be dangerous to apply this type of religious belief to your now real life situation. Think about it rationally, purposely putting or keeping your self in danger is a bigger sin. What would happen if things got to the point to were you had to kill or be killed your self. If you die, then you bring needless suffering to the ones who love you, if you end up killing, well this to me seems to be a bigger sin if you had the chance to get out of the situation. You have to take your religion with a grain of salt, the Bible also says that we should stone to death anyone who works on the Sabbath, I can't see you actually doing that to someone, would you? Getting a divorce for selfish reasons is one thing, but getting a divorce because of self preservation is something different entirely. Good luck.
2006-09-06 08:55:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God did not say that divorce was a sin. He said that remarrying someone else after a divorce is sin. Also, you have the choice of seperation if you feel that is best for you and your family as well. It's important to consider the effects your relationship with your husband is having on your children (which I'm sure you are already doing). What are your children learning about marriage from your relationship now? What are they learning about love? About God the Father?
Have you ever heard of Saint Monica? She was in an abusive relationship as well. One of her sons fell into a life of sin--after all, he did not have a good male role model growing up. But she kept her husband and her son in her prayers. Her husband converted on his deathbed. Her son converted and came to be the great Saint and Father of the Church Saint Augustine.
Here's a write-up about her if you are interested: http://www.catholic-forum.com/saints/saintm04.htm
God Bless you and your family. You will all remain in my prayers!
2006-09-06 08:41:22 · answer #10 · answered by Mary's Daughter 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋