My friend had a baby at 24 weeks and the baby weighed 1lb 4 oz when born. Stayed in hopsital for three months and when she came home had a tricheatomy and feeding tube. She was 19 lbs 9 months old and was about to have the trach taken out and live a normal life develping like a 5 month old should(remember she was 4 months early) then just passed away in her sleep one morning. We were all devestated and my friend took it really hard but was strong for her other two boys(she's a single mom) She is one of the best mothers I know and this has been so hard on us. I am there and was there for everything she needed or needs. Every holiday is hard. Every day is a challange but she is doing better than I would ever be. I just wish there was a way to help her not hurt so much. Its been about 6 months and I know it will take time and she will never really heal. She has very loving family and friends. She is on antidepressants and she is staying active and busy with her other kids-Any suggestions?
2006-09-06 08:29:21 · 16 answers · asked by ROOTER 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Always be supportive! And let her know that it's okay to grieve and be sad...it's also okay to move forward. There is no void greater in the world then the loss of a child...I know b/c I lost my son who was almost 6 in March 2005. We grieve the lack of the physical body. The way they felt, smell, looked, etc. Let her be angry when she is, and be there for her. Laugh with her when she is happy! It's okay to talk about the child....trust me, we love it and it helps the grieving process.
You are a great friend! And she sounds like a great woman as well. Hang in there!
2006-09-06 08:42:59 · answer #1 · answered by Erica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
unfortuanately there is no real answer to this question. So many times we want to take away the sufferings of other people because we cannot stand to watch someone we love hurt. But it is a growing process that only she can control. Give her the time and the space she needs to come to terms with everything. The only thing you can do is empower her with the stength she already posseses but is lost in the haze of suffering. Give to her the faith that you know she is dealing with it the best way she knows how. This is all she really needs from you. Your pity is only a reminder of what she has lossed and can cause resent
2006-09-06 08:47:26 · answer #2 · answered by fryedaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first i give my condolences, second the loss of a child I think is one of the hardest challenges in life. I don't think there is a sure fire way to ease the pain but with time and all the support she sounds like she is getting will help. Sounds like you are being a great friend and feeling the pain with her and that is probably very good for her to have someone to share the heartache with and to confide in. I don't think tucking it away and trying to forget about it will do anything. All she can do is always remember the lost child and make sure she does not ever point blame on herself that will not be healthy and will make it harder to continue on with her life. Keep her busy and always have an open ear for her. The pain will fade but I don't think you will ever truelly get over it, you just learn to deal with it easier....
2006-09-06 08:42:35 · answer #3 · answered by cyborg_2099 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, losing a child is all too difficult. Your friend will never start hurting. The only advice I can give is for her family and friends to stay close and be there for her. Dont try to smother her because that will make her feel even worse. Just be very watchful of her because although she's staying active, which is good, that could be her way of hidding her true feelings and she may have a nervous breakdown.
2006-09-06 08:36:40 · answer #4 · answered by cinnimontwist518 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think a mother never can get over for the loss of a child.Time will help a little,but the pain and the memories will be always there.
She now has an angel watch over her and the two boys that's for sure.How "cruel" it can be to lose a child or anybody we love,I think everything happen for a reason in this life.
I truly hope your friend will be strong enough and I send all my love to her from a mom to another.
2006-09-06 08:41:40 · answer #5 · answered by S. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sweetheart, are a wonderful friend. I was 6.5 months pregnant with twin boys at the age of 18 when the father beat me up so bad that they did't survive. I can tell you that it hurts for a long time but it does get easier. You keep doing what you already are and just be the strong shoulder she needs. God bless you, your an angel!!!!
2006-09-06 13:57:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just read a bunch of stuff in a medical book b/c my 10 month old had a cold. Yours needs to go to the doctor/hospital since she's vomiting and has the flu. You don't want to make a fatal mistake by not seeking a doctor's help. I hope she gets better soon...poor thing.
2016-03-27 00:30:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
time will make it better. My aunt lost an infant also a long time ago. The police officer that showed up was crying as well.
I would just watch over her and the boys and make sure the boys' lives don't come to a halt because of this. Make sure they know they are special also.
2006-09-06 08:36:15 · answer #8 · answered by Pam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your friends baby!!! So sad!!!! six months is a very short time in the whole greiving process. Keep being her friend and just be their for her! maybe she can join a support group. cuz, no one really knows what she is feeling unless they have lost a child!!
2006-09-06 08:44:13 · answer #9 · answered by hillbilly wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it will always hurt. But eventually, it won't be so close, so tender a wound. You are a good friend. The only thing I can suggest is maybe sharing her tragedy with others who have lost a child. Usually the hospitals know where to find the groups.
2006-09-06 08:36:01 · answer #10 · answered by steelypen 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋