It is not that I am worried about the porn- that doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that he has lied about it. He knows I am open and secure, and would actually watch with him, and our sex life is great. What is the best way to confront him (about the lying) without sounding dramatic or angry?
2006-09-06 08:18:26 · 17 answers · asked by kittiekatt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
IMPORTANT: I was not snooping. He left the link open when I went to use the compurter. Then I looked into it.
2006-09-06 08:54:03 · update #1
Maybe he's insecure about the whole deal. Regardless lying is NEVER good in any relationship. The best way to go about it is simply to ask him why he would lie about it.
Tell him you don't mind the porn but you dislike his lying about it. If he can't understand that you don't like him lying, then he's the one with the problem, not you.
2006-09-06 08:22:51 · answer #1 · answered by bad_dog76 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-19 16:28:30 · answer #2 · answered by Harold 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, here is the deal. You want a happy relationship with your man and not screw it up? Don't say ANYTHING about it. Just let it go. Why is he lying to you about it? Because he knows it's embarrassing to watch something like that and he also doesn't want to make it a big deal in the relationship you 2 are having. Just leave it alone. Put trust in him that it won't effect your relationship. He will end up getting angry b/c you are snooping behind his back and try to scold him like he was a little kid. No man likes that at ALL. Just leave it alone. You should only be saying something if it is effecting your activities in the bedroom. If it hasn't then don't let it worry you.
2006-09-06 08:29:20 · answer #3 · answered by unknowndiscovery 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's not yet comfortable with you to share what his fetishes are. Notice I said fetishes, not fantasies.
To have a 3some is a fantasy. To wear women's panties is a fetish.
Look at the type of porn that he is looking at. Is there a pattern?
Ask him what he likes about the porn you have. Look through it and if you enjoy what it is, let him know that you do and why.
He may not feel secure enough to share his fetishes with you. Being accusatory and judgmental will only make things worse.
When he comes home, make sure you are viewing one of the sites he was hiding from you and tell him what you enjoyed from it. To see that you are completely cool with it will put him at ease and make him more open to you.
Good luck and have fun.
2006-09-06 08:26:14 · answer #4 · answered by makawao_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him if he has been looking at porn sites. If he is straight up honest with you, than tell him how you feel about it. If he lies to you, kick him to the curb, cuz what else is he hiding and lying about in this relationship?
2006-09-06 08:23:29 · answer #5 · answered by fire_side_2003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's one of the few only things that sometimes I think a lot of guys can get away with lying. Even if you are open.......it just seems akward at times to be talking about something WE enjoy watching, to you. Even if it's things or fantasies we'd like to act out ourself........I think if he really cares about you, he was just trying to protect himself from you "looking down upon" him. Now of course if he's lying about other things all together, go kick his *** lol.
2006-09-06 08:22:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might not be about you watching it with him. I think that as men we learn pretty early on that we have to hide porn. It's almost a reflex. Plus, most times if we're watching it, we're doing something that we want to do alone. Don't sweat it. If you have to bring it up, do it very jokingly and casually.
2006-09-06 08:30:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a guy has to cover it then there is something heavily incorrect along with his female. If a pair won't be able to be open with one yet another then they simply are no longer compatable. i do no longer understand why every physique might prefer to circulate by existence married to somebody who has distinctive ideals while it includes something so very own and intimate.
2016-09-30 09:55:53 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that relationships are based on trust and honesty. If he feels compelled to have his own interests, the least he can do is tell you so. You must be willing for him to have some things to himself that he doesn't "share" with you, but he shouldn't be lying about it either.
2006-09-06 08:22:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He must feel it is wrong if he is hiding it. Just talk to him, let him know found out, tell him that you don't mind that he enjoys it, and that he doesn't have to hide it. He is probably so use to having to hide it from parents or past girlfriends, that it is just a habit and he really isn't meaning to lie to you.
2006-09-06 08:22:55 · answer #10 · answered by Why do you ask? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋