Most of my friends (in their mid to late 20's) have children that were unplanned.
The unplanned children were their first children. All of them planned their second children.
They joke that I am the only one who got married first and how that is so rare now.
My wife and I are planning our first child after being together for 6 years.
Things don't always go according to plan, but it was important for me to have a stable home before having a child.
Do you think children should be planned? Do you think parents should marry first and then plan children?
2006-09-06 08:16:05 · 17 answers · asked by HappyHippo 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
yes but sometimes it just happends. i got pregnant at 16...unless your parents sign you cant get married so like i said sometimes it just happends!
2006-09-06 08:22:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well I do think that people should get married first before they even think of having a baby - that's just so that the baby will have a stable home waiting for it when it comes. Most couples who plan their children have reasons and intentions that works best for themselves and their marriage - and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. In fact, I think that it is good that some people take the time to plan their lives together - that way, a lot of the issues that were there before would be resolved before they start a family. It really depends on the couple and their situation as well as their marriage. Those decisions should be between the married couple.
When I got married, our plan was to not have a baby right away because there were some things that I needed to do first - but we got pregnant anyway. Sure it was unplanned and I had to hold off some things, but our baby was one of the best things that ever happened to me and my hubby. So everything worked out well - I can't imagine life now without my daughter. And now we're trying for the second one, which as you can see is going to be a planned pregnancy. And if I can help it, I would like the rest of our future kids be planned, that way I and my hubby are ready to make sure that they come into the world with the best of everything that we can offer them.
2006-09-06 15:28:51 · answer #2 · answered by hotmomma23 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In a perfect world every pregnancy would be planned but it is not a perfect world so we are always going to have these surprises.
All my children were surprises but I don't love them any less.
PS: I do believe that people should be married 1st, but it seems the trend is to get pregnant, live together for awhile and then get married. It is just bassackward.
2006-09-06 22:26:37 · answer #3 · answered by morris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have 2 daughters, the first unplanned the second planned. Parents don't need to be married first. We were living together and then got married when our first was 2. The only change was a huge bill for a marriage certificate. planning to have children would not be necessary if people were in a meaningful relationship before hitting the sheets and discussing the "what ifs" first.
2006-09-06 15:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by jeepnuk 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think that children should be planned but most of the time they happen unexpectedly and when some people plan it they don't have them or they have trouble. I think parents should marry first but today people are just having sex if thats the case no one should have sex until they are married.
2006-09-06 15:25:14 · answer #5 · answered by chantel_17pink 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got married first and had my child, but we didn't sit down and "plan" when we were going to have him. It was just one of those things that after we got married we stopped using a condom and said whatever happens, happens. We have a stable home and are very happy. That's good for you and your wife, if that's what you need good for you!
2006-09-06 15:25:23 · answer #6 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In a perfect world all children would be born into a loving stable family and well planned for, however it doesn't always happen that way.
2006-09-08 11:07:37 · answer #7 · answered by kiko 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe in a perfect world! I would never have children if I wasn't married. My husband and I have been married 2 years and are still nowhere near ready to start having children.
2006-09-06 15:32:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
YAY for you and your wife!!!!
I think you should be married before you have children and you should plan on how MANY children you both want. It doesn't matter when they come along as long as you are married and want them when they do.
2006-09-06 16:29:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that children are a blessing. There is nothing wrong with planned parenthood but you cant just plan and talk about it. My daughter was a surprise but being married for 3 yrs first she was the best surprise i could ask for.
2006-09-06 15:23:05 · answer #10 · answered by Marie 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
My husband and I were not married when we had our first son...but he was planned, as was our second (but we were married that time around).
I think it's important that you be ready for the responsibility of parenthood and not thrown into it. My husband and I talked about it before we decided to try for our first child. We both knew what we were getting into and made a conscious decision to go ahead.
I think if you get pregnant "by accident", you are not prepared for that responsibility and it can overwhelm you. I mean, even when you are prepared for it, it can overwhelm you!
2006-09-06 15:55:12 · answer #11 · answered by jet_333 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋