2006-09-06 08:03:15 · 19 answers · asked by adjustintime59 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Bring it up. Ask him to lay it all out. Your lives should be an open book for each other.
2006-09-06 08:07:24 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on a couple of things. First I am assuming you have just met this individual.
First is the bad past criminal or violent in nature. If so then I think I would end it with this person. Especially if this is you are young or not have an experienced romantic past (aka other serious relationships).
If by bad past you mean a player than speaking as a guy I wouldn't approach the subject unless you have reason to suspect hes cheating on you. And even then I wouldn't be accusatory. The last thing any guy wants to be with is an insecure girl. I would advise you to say that "(Because of this) I feel as though you are seeing someone." Wait for a response. If he seems defensive than approach the rumors you have heard as another reason for concern. Be true to yourself and if you are really into him let him know you can't have him disrespecting your emotions by seeing other girls. Tell him his cheating makes you angry and hurt and that he needs to take these things in consideration. If he gets angry by the first question it doesn't (..are you seeing someone..) mean he is cheating on you. Its possible he is aware of the rumors or he senses your insecurity (whether it be legitimate or not).
Best case is don't rely on rumors and be true to your own feelings. When you talk to someone from the heart always say when you do this I FEEL THIS. It isn't confrontational and it gets to the center of the emotional issue.
Best of luck hope this helps!!!!!
2006-09-06 08:23:24 · answer #2 · answered by Greg G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if its something that bothers you then he should be able to talk about it... HOWEVER.. keep in mind.... dont ask a question you really dont want to hear the answer to. No sense in him trusting you with the truth and past mistakes if you are going to make him feel bad or less than what he is now. the past was the past. unless it has something to do with you directly or goes against some MAJOR convictions you have then let it be. keep an open mind though. and your guard up in case its a reflection of what could be.
good luck
2006-09-06 08:07:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let the past be the past. If he has changed then you should focus on the now. We all make misteakes we are not proud of but we change. Isn't possible that he has changed. Give him a chance. If it is really bugging you then ask him. Tell him that it won't change any thing but you just would rather have a open relationship with no secrets.
2006-09-06 08:06:30 · answer #4 · answered by unkown 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to discuss it with you,if not let it be. What's
happened is in the past.
2006-09-06 08:11:24 · answer #5 · answered by caroline j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's the past then you really have no choice but to let it be. The only thing you have to worry about is your future. Is it (your future) with him accepting the fact that the past is just that or without him because you can't deal with it?
2006-09-06 09:00:54 · answer #6 · answered by Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what is "not good". Had more partners than you knew about? Let it go. Went to prison for murdering a family of 6? Run like hell.
2006-09-06 08:06:07 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt Honesty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
never and i mean never be in a relatioship where you feel you need to keep looking back, if you do you will never look forward as in forward movement, whats done is done, as long as those things dont happen again let it be, if you can't get past his past and im assuming his past before you, pack your bags and leave it none of your buissness give the guy a break and let him start off fresh, we have all done something bad in our lives and we put it behind us quit throwing it in his face, unless of course you trying to get him to leave you, then keep it up,
2006-09-06 08:11:07 · answer #8 · answered by brandonsgix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a questionable pass (you don't say how bad) and he has a bad temper (from your last question) ask yourself why you want to settle for such a man? Do you have to have drama in your life to feel alive? Ditch him. Otherwise you are going to have nothing but headaches in the future.
2006-09-06 08:09:36 · answer #9 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you need to ask the question then you probably need to talk to him about it...otherwise you will wonder about it for the length of your relationship. Remember though, you're with him for the present and the future - not the past.
2006-09-06 08:07:49 · answer #10 · answered by aka_bitsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discuss.
If the past is bad but he seems to be ready to change, you can not know without talking to him. If you feel after that that he is not going to change, you should end the relationship.
2006-09-06 08:07:52 · answer #11 · answered by curious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋