Since I do not want to leave you without examples, here is one:
I was standing in the checkout line at a grocery store. The man behind, whom I had never met before, told me that I was buying too much junk food and that I should eat healthier.
Another example: My aunt has four kids and people will make comments to her like, "Haven't you ever heard of birth control?"
What is the most loving and Christian way to deal with such comments and questions?
Thank you!
2006-09-06 07:57:11 · 22 answers · asked by Mary's Daughter 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Some people are suggesting to say something along the lines of "Thank you for your concern." I thought about this already. I don't think it really works for me for two reasons: 1. I did say that once and I still felt terrible about myself for the rest of the day after someone was being rude. 2. I'm not sure it's honest--I don't really feel grateful for their comments.
What do you think?
2006-09-06 08:17:38 · update #1
tell them God bless you and have a Great day
2006-09-06 08:06:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Well, I think it depends on the person's intentions with what they say. For example, the guy that commented on your buying a lot of junk food...It's possible that he was just being very friendly (maybe too friendly) and meant it jokingly. If that was the case, take it light-heartedly and chuckle, knowing he didn't mean to be insulting or rude. He apparently just doesn't understand boundaries too well or is too friendly, as I stated. If he said it to you in a serious tone, that was very rude of him as a stranger to say that to you. In that case, I would simply stare at him for a few seconds, like "Are you kidding me with this?" and turn around without saying a word. He would have gotten the hint.
As far as the example with your aunt and her gaggle of children. The stranger who made the rude comment does not know your aunt or the situation. Maybe your aunt has always wanted to have 4 children. Maybe all 4 were unplanned accidents. So for a strange to make a rude comment like "Havn't you ever heard of birth control?", he/she was assuming the 4 kids were not planned. Probably because it's more often than not the case. No matter which case it is, bottom line is that it was an extremely rude and disrespectful comment for a stranger to make to your aunt. Simply saying in a rude tone "Excuse me?" to let them know they crossed the line would probably suffice. If the person was a really thick headed or obnoxious person, it may have taken more.
I have my own real life example. I used to work in an upscale retail clothing store and had to dress up with a tie for work. While helping an older gentleman pick out a suit, his wife came over and very rudely said, refferring to the way I was dressed, "Oh he doesn't know what he's doing....just look at his tie." Needless to say it was very insulting to me. At the moment I was rather speechless and didn't know what to say. At that point I handed her the suit I was holding for her husband and walked away without saying a word. That should have indicated to her she crossed the line. About an hour had passed and they still could not pick a suit. The wife called me back over requesting my help. They left very satisfied with a suit I picked out for them.
People often don't think before they speak. So that has a lot to do with it too. Some people were just not raised with good manners, and that also can be the reason. Maybe he/she was just having a bad day and took it out on you and your aunt. I feel that most people are good at their core, so don't take that stuff to heart.
2006-09-06 15:20:30 · answer #2 · answered by palebeachbum 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those comments sound like good Christian observations. The grocery guy only cares about your well being. The baby people are only concerned that someday, you're aunt might turn to abortions. (is 4 a lot of kids?).
I think the most loving and human way to deal is to not be so uptight and don't let them bother you in the first place. The polite thing would be to simply say, "i'm sorry, but I think what you just said was kind of rude and really none of your business". Try reposting in the Etiquette section.
2006-09-06 15:03:41 · answer #3 · answered by Ann_Tykreist 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well, I can't give you a "Christian" way to handle it, as I'm not a Christian. But for the guy telling me I'm buying too much junk food, I would start putting things back and then ask him for his credit card. If he's going to make comments like he's buying the food, then the least he can do is buy the food.
For the other, I would say I've heard of birth control... shame your mom didn't.
I told you it wouldn't be Christian... but when ppl act like that, it really annoys me.
2006-09-06 15:09:17 · answer #4 · answered by Kithy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just give them a smile back and thank them. The easiest thing to do is to fire back an insult at them, but that isn't what God would want us to do. 2 wrongs does not make a right. If they see you smile and thank them and tell them "God Bless you," then it could lift up their day as well and make them smile back, maybe even apologize for saying it. Perhaps it could even cause them to be curious what keeps you so happy and that would be a good opening to invite them to the church you attend letting them know if they do not go back later that you wouldn't bother them about it either.
2006-09-06 15:08:20 · answer #5 · answered by Roller Coaster Enthusiast 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally laugh at them and then give them a pithy retort.
Example one: It's a good thing you don't have to eat what I buy then isn't it?
Example two: Have you ever heard of manners? Didn't think so.
It is human nature to believe you are right all the time. It is funny to see their faces when you are able to call them on their rudeness without the upset reaction or shocked silence they expect.
2006-09-06 15:09:08 · answer #6 · answered by thewolfskoll 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In response to the first example I would say: "you must have caught me PMSing." Today's the day!
The second one I would say: "And yes twins are on the way!"
Just be polite and smile it off.
Note: As far as bringing God or religion into it, it just might make the other party even more peeved.
2006-09-07 16:19:12 · answer #7 · answered by Born Valentine's Day 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This day and age people seem to think there opinions are wanted. Next time some one says something rude to you tell them thank you they'll be caught off guard
2006-09-06 15:04:19 · answer #8 · answered by dominator 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Either tell them to shove off and mind their own business or just ignore them. Actually just ignoring them is probably best. There is nothing more irritating to small-minded busybodies who have nothing better to do than to poke their noses into other people's business (and their shopping trolleys) than being ignored. They should get a life and leave other people alone.
2006-09-06 15:07:52 · answer #9 · answered by Jackie J 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ignore the comment. That is the easiest and most polite way to deal with it.
2006-09-06 15:00:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
i wish i could give you an answer that was right. i think that there is many wrong ways to handel that type of situation and few right ways.
also thank you for the prayers for my wife. there are many kind people on this site and it warms my heart to know that she is in your thoughts.
2006-09-06 15:58:04 · answer #11 · answered by bgdadyp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋