I have found grocery store brands to be bulky and babyish. In our house, the kids make all their own decisions and we don't want to push our social "norms" on our son. His kindergarten teacher has said he can't come to school in diapers so I need a really really discreet option!!!
2006-09-06 07:29:37 · 20 answers · asked by Aubrey C 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
So, you allow a 5 year old to make all his own decisions... because he is so mature and can make wise choices at that age? Maybe if you put him in diapers for school, he will decide to use the bathroom like normal 5 year olds do. And, if he decides not to do that... he will have to live with it, which is a part of making decisions... living with the consequences of them. Do you also allow your child to decide whether or not he will wear a seatbelt in the car? Does he decide what time he goes to bed? Does he decide that he wants to watch an R rated movie and you just sit there and let him? Someone in your family needs to be a parent...obviously it doesn't fit your social "norms" to be that...maybe you could hire someone to come in and raise your children.
2006-09-06 07:39:49 · answer #1 · answered by WenckeBrat 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, using the toilet is much less a social norm than a lagging of developmental skills. If you are permitting your children to make all their own decisions than I hope you are also allowing them to learn from the consequences of their decisions. In this scenario, if you allow him to choose not to use the toilet at your home, that is your decision. At school, however, you don't have control over that. He must follow the same rules as all the other children. As a professional educator, nothing positive can be learned from having a child in diapers in kindergarten. A kindergarten teacher will not change a diaper nor should be expected to. A special needs child is, of course, not the same. A child requiring diapers in the public school should have an aide who is specifically paid to attend to the needs of a special education student. All children need loving guidance and gentle leading as they grow and learn. Parents are a child's first and most important teacher. If you don't teach him, he will learn from others. A kindergartner wearing diapers will face ridicule (no diaper is that discreet) and ostracizing from his peers. He needs your protection. If he is not developmentally ready for toileting on his own, then keep him home until he is. Consider home-schooling him as he will be pushed into more social norms at school than any other place he will every go.
2006-09-06 07:50:11 · answer #2 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What's worse: Pushing "social norms" on your child this one time, or having him be teased by all his classmates because he still wears diapers? If the children ever found out he wore diapers---he would never hear the end of it from kindergarten until the day he graduates. You need to get over the "not pushing social norms" on your children. That is about the stupidest thing I have ever heard. You obviously are not thinking of your child here. Also, what if he poops in his diaper at school and everyone has to smell it all day because you refuse to "push norms" on him? That's not fair to your child, his teacher, OR his classmates. Remember that urine smells too so no matter what comes out--it's going to be in that diaper all day and his poor classmates will have to put up with it. Not to mention how uncomfortable it is to walk around in a urine soaked diaper all day.
There's a reason diapers only come in certain sizes!
2006-09-06 07:31:50 · answer #3 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is insane. You are the grown ups, you are the ones who are supposed to help your children make good decisions, you are the ones who have to teach him basic needs and functions! A 5 year old cant make intelligent decisions on his own w/o being taught........from his parents. Some social "norms", has you put it, must be taught / learned. Such has potty training, eating healthy, manners, bathing, social skills, etc etc. Kids arent born knowing these things.
BTW there are no discreet diapers, the teacher will find out. And then you are teaching your child that its ok to lie to get your way.
2006-09-06 12:42:00 · answer #4 · answered by Stewiesgal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Finding a "really really discreet" diaper is trying to deceive the teacher (who has indicated that diapers are not allowed). What a great life lesson: lie to people in authority so that you can get your way.
Social norms have been set up and refined over the years because they provide immense benefits to an organized, civil society. Without them, we may as well be lone animals figuring everything out in life by trial and error.
Letting the kids make all their decisions is stupid, too. You don't get to make all the decisions in your life, right? Some things are just plain out of your control, and you deal with it. In this kid's microcosm of a world, he may not be faced with these limitations. You are the boss; you lay down the rules and instill structure in his life such that he can deal with problems when he is an adult. With luck, he can have a good life later on and thank you for it.
So, your question is all wrong. The solution is to spend a lot of time with this kid and give him a crash course in potty training. All consequences of not going to the toilet during the training period will be put squarely on him (cleaning up, etc). All resistance will be met with firm resolve to finish the training. It will be a positive lesson in meeting problems head-on and solving them with a little bit of hard work and cooperation. Get to it.
2006-09-06 08:10:59 · answer #5 · answered by Ubi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a very wise choice to secretly "diaper" your child. Perhaps you should make your son's potty training more of a priority. He is 5. Whether or not the other children know he has on a diaper he will smell like urine and feces. You are setting him up to be teased, ridiculed and this could have a horrible impact on your childs well being. What a horrible way for a child to experience his first year of school. Spending more one on one time with him may help and make it fun. I would concentrate more on the goal of becoming potty trained at this age then sneaking him to school with a diaper on. Once you give up the diaper he will use the toilet. Nobody like to go in their pants, with our without a diaper.
2006-09-06 07:51:42 · answer #6 · answered by Q&A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's a solution, instead of pushing social norms homeschool your kids. The school teachers have more than just YOUR special child to teach during the day, at least 20 per classroom. There is no time to take your child to the bathroom and change his diaper. How about YOU going to school with this "non pushing social norms" child and sit there during the day until it is time to change his diaper, and YOU do so. There ya go a few solutions for you...since you're not into pushing social norms.
2006-09-06 07:42:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Even with discreet diapers his teachers and classmates will still be able to smell when he soils his diapers. If a 5 year old isn't potty trained there probably is an underlying issue I would talk to your doctor.
2006-09-06 07:39:24 · answer #8 · answered by mommyem 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a parent and understand why you want your children to make their own decisions.
Honestly, how healthy is it emotionally for a child of his age to be wearing diapers with other kids of the same age that use a restroom. It took me time to get my daughter to use the potty. She was almost 4 when she stopped using pull-ups. I had found out that my daughter had a huge fear of water and was afraid that she would drown in the toilet.
Talk to your child about why he is scared or refuses to use the restroom. It is one thing to allow your child to be independent; which I support and practice, but it is another when you are "babying" your child.
2006-09-06 07:41:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is ridiculous! So you would rather have him sit around "discreetly" at school all day in a diaper that he has peed or pooped in!!!
My son refuses to eat anything except chicken nuggets and cookies.... but you know what? Tough s#!t!!! I am his mom and I make him eat things that are good for him... for his own well being.
I think you were probably just too lazy to potty train.
SHAME ON YOU as a parent!
2006-09-06 07:38:48 · answer #10 · answered by Legs 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋