She thinks it's all going well, but I'm just putting off the inevitable. I really don't want to hurt her.
2006-09-06 07:15:35 · 48 answers · asked by A True Gentleman 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just be honest with her and the sooner the better. Don't allow her to continue to get more attached to you.
Good luck
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-06 07:17:30 · answer #1 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kindest thing to do would be to tell her ASAP, don't just spit it out, take her somewhere neutral (a park etc) NOT FOR DINNER! It won't be easy, but try to maintain eye contact and control of the situation, don't let her hammer you with questions, get there in your own time but be honest with your answers. She'll ask you why (the specifics) because us girls want to know everything! If you find her getting too touchy/paranoid, give her space. Let her come to you once she's calmed down. If you want, offer to stay in touch but on her terms (she may not bother or she may not leave you alone!). You've been with her 3 months so I hope you should have at least some idea whether she's a jealous/spiteful person or not.
Like I said, be cool, you can do this!
2006-09-06 09:51:02 · answer #2 · answered by Smiffy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me the kindest way would be to tell her as soon as possible.
Your going to hurt her more by waiting. Just search your soul and try to find the right words. If you want to stay friends tell her that too. She may not want to at first, but then, she may come around later. I wouldn't want someone who wanted to break up with me to wait to tell me,. I had that happen, and believe me, it broke my heart. Your relationship is still pretty new. I wouldn't let it go much further. That's just my opinion though. If you wait much longer, you're being more of a coward by not telling her. and I don't mean that nastily. But, don't be scared to tell her, you're being more of a man and she'll probably end up respecting you more as a man if you tell her right away. I wouldn't get into a you, you , you thing, or an I, I , I thing. Just let her know it's just not working out for you and it's better to break it off now than later. I hope I'm right on this. I'm just saying this because I know how I felt when it happened to me. I was dating another guy years ago, and he told me right away. And we're good friends. Hopefully, she can be that way too. Good luck!
2006-09-06 07:24:06 · answer #3 · answered by one_sahara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you tell her face to face and don't be confrontational. Just discuss your feelings and you may find out that she feels the same way. I'm sure you are acting as if everything is all going well, maybe she is too. Be honest and she'll respect you for that. This will minimise the upset. Although she may still feel hurt initially, when she has had time to reflect on the situation, she'll feel a lot better than if you handle this inconsiderately.
2006-09-06 07:21:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be brave and honest - you know, get the bandaid off as quick as possible. You seem to be caring enough for her to to it tactically well.
Ask her to sit down, tell her, why you were with her together that long (start with positive qualities she has) and tell her that you appreciate her, your time together but you feel that you're just not right together. You think it's the best time to admit that and move on, search for the ONE that both of you deserve.
Don't hesitate and don't let her convince you. Be strong but not rude. And please, PLEASE always break up in person!!!
2006-09-06 07:34:23 · answer #5 · answered by Butterfly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think of it from my point of view...I would rather someone was honest with me and said what was on their mind. The fact you are wondering the 'best way' shows you care enough to take her feelings into consideration and not be tactless, so good on you. In the long run its better that you cut it off as soon as poss because it will hurt less too. I hope it goes as well as it can, good luck. x
2006-09-06 07:19:14 · answer #6 · answered by Blue robbin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the longer you leave it, the harder it will be for both of you. you sound like a nice man but she will probably be upset no matter what, just be honest and say you don't think you are compatible, it's nothing either of you did, you just don't suit being in a relationship. explain that you still want her in your life as a friend. there is not much else you can do. it is nice you are trying to spare her feelings. good luck.
2006-09-06 07:20:37 · answer #7 · answered by Summer Rain 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound honest and sincere. The kindest way would be just what your question stated. "We're just not right together." The sooner the better. Good Luck
2006-09-06 07:19:19 · answer #8 · answered by irish_yankee51 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This happened to me on Friday and I was given the biggest load of movie-style excuses I thought it was possible to be fed (it's not you, it's me blah blah). Best just to be honest with her. It WILL hurt her (pride if nothing else) and you WILL get soppy texts/phone calls but she's just dealing with it in whatever way she can. Try not to get nasty/personal/insulting etc whatever she says to you - it's just grief rearing its ugly head.
Whatever you do, don't do it over the phone. Tell her to her face, it'll be hard but life's not easy is it??
2006-09-06 07:42:43 · answer #9 · answered by Emerelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be honest with her. tell her that you know that she thinks things are going well, but that you just don't feel that they are. You feel like something is not right. If there is nothing wrong with her, tell her. make it a point to let her know that it is just the feelings of chemistry between the two of you, from your point of view. just be honest, or it will come around sooner or later and bite you in the butt.
2006-09-06 07:19:41 · answer #10 · answered by singitoutloudandclear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋