My boyfriend is a crossdresser and he only does it when noone will be home or we go somewhere that he won't be recognized. He does seem to want to "come out" with this to his family and friends but is scared. I don't blame him. This sort of thing isn't very well received by most people. He knows that I love him regardless and that I think that if they are his friends, they won't care and his family should love him anyway. How do I help him be more comfortable with himself and tell or show people who he really is?
2006-09-06 06:51:58 · 8 answers · asked by Jill S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I should also add that he has been doing this for 20+ years, it's not a faze. And that he has expressed to me the desire to tell people. He has also put pictures on the internet I assume in the hopes that someone that he knows will stumble upon them.
2006-09-06 07:23:08 · update #1
This sort of thing is addictive. The neurotramsitters in his brain are firing off dopamines and serotines that give him a sense of temporary gradification, but he will need to push the envelope further and further for the same stimulatory response.
It isn't very well received by our society; because we feel that its healthier when girls are happy being girls, and boys are happy being boys. Crossdressers have a NEED to crossdress, they can't stop. Your boyfriend sounds like he's still trying to find out what exactly his needs are. You can help.
It is important to note that crossdressing as an addiction can be distructive. It can harm relationships with friends, family and divide a husband from his wife and children. Often the crossdresser will struggle to adopt more and more female mannerisms and appearance. The crossdresser may try surgery to look more female, and may even decide to use surgery to become a female.
If you want to help him I suggest you help him set some boundaries for his crossdressing. Help him to identify and be happy with being a man, and see the crossdressing as an addiction. He will not be able to stop, but he can determine his boundaries. For instance, what articles of clothing does he find the most attractive... keep those. What articles can he do without... don't ever go there. Do not use crossdressing as the end in itself, but use it for special events. Associate it with some household chores.. e.g. crossdress while cooking of doing household chores. But don't crossdress just to be crossdressing. And do not join clubs for crossdressers. They just spend all their time encouraging each other to crossdress more and more and more. They try to make it sound as positive as possible.. it really doesn't help.
He cannot give up crossdressing but he needs you to be his contact with reality.
2006-09-07 12:39:20 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out http://www.crossdressers.com It is a forum for cross dressers and their significant others. You can join as a GG (Genetic Girl) and once approved by the moderators you can have private discussions with wives / girlfriends of crossdressers just like you.
The best thing to do is learn. There are a lot more crossdressers out there than we realize - and obviously you love this man because you are willing to stand next to him through all of this. Check out the forum - I think you will be able to have all of your questions answered.
2006-09-06 09:13:51 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ulimately he's got to decide when/if to share that- that isn't something you can do for him. He may decide after a year that he's done with it, or he may decide to "come out"... Just be there to support him, and let him know you're in his corner either way!
You can make him more comfortable by maybe getting him a gag gift- some awful garment from a thrift store that he'd never wear, like granny knickers- just being able to joke about it will help him loosen up and not stress out...
2006-09-06 06:59:17 · answer #3 · answered by C-Man 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would want to be stressful for you, yet your mom is largely protecting you and does no longer want something to ensue to you. Age massive difference does no longer be counted she will be in a position to continuously assume a guy is to previous for you because you're her daughter. And convinced your mom may have met your father an analogous time you met yours and your mom probably made some blunders that she basically does no longer want repeated to you. basically hear to her because contained in the authentic if something does ensue to you, you'll experience undesirable for no longer listening and also you'd be apologetic about the authentic result.
2016-11-25 00:44:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would reassure him of your love and explain and stress to him that he can never truely be happy unless he is true to himself as a person, I also recommend counseling to help him overcome his fears of being judged harshly by others and be open and free with who he is inside as a person.
2006-09-06 06:58:29 · answer #5 · answered by the_mystical_runt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take pics post them on the ineternet and give the web address to his family. Then tie him up and fem dom him like the little b&tch that he is.
2006-09-06 06:57:43 · answer #6 · answered by rab2344 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ermm i wanna help ya .. byt what is cross dresser
2006-09-06 06:57:26 · answer #7 · answered by sandras 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know what to do or tell you
2006-09-06 06:57:22 · answer #8 · answered by babygurl28607 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋