I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. I still live at home (because of money) and he has an appartment. We spend nights together one place or the other. We both work. As far as the relationship goes there are no problems, but
I'm not a neat freak. I'm dine with clutter. I've got nothing against an unmade bed or a half-read newspaper in the living room.
But his place is gross. I honestly don't think that he's done dishes in a month. The sink is full and the counters are disgusting. His dirty laundry overflows his hamper and he doesn't fold his clothes and put them away after he washes them but leaves them in the basket.
We don't split the rent, so I don't feel that it's my place to say anything. He doesn't want me to clean and I shouldn't have to.
It's not healthy. It can't be good for his alergies and I'm afraid one of us is going to end up with food posioning over his kitchen.
How do i get him to see the problem?
2006-09-06 06:34:44 · 5 answers · asked by nobodysangel_nobodysfool 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm not sure if it might make a difference, but he's a bookworm. A lot of times he can sit, lost in a book (or a computer game) and not even notice the mess around him.
I don't think that keeping his appartment clean should be my responsibilty because he doesn't share in the things that I have to do around my parent's house.
2006-09-06 06:36:40 · update #1
If you really like the guy, you should talk to him about it. You may not be paying but you are spending time there and you should be able to feel comfortable and safe (from germs, etc.) Hopefully he will be open and maybe you can clean together once in awhile; it would be just another way to spend time and once he gets used to living in better conditions, he'll probably want to keep it that way. Good Luck!
2006-09-06 06:39:11 · answer #1 · answered by KB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say make a game out of it ... tell him if he cleans his kitchen once a week ... you will give him something once a week in return ( whatever cums to mind ) or tell him everytime you visit his apartment and it's clean ... you will strip right then and there for him ... lol ... !
If you're not a sexual couple .. use whatever he wants to pretty much bribe him books, games, movies, dinner ..etc.. if that doesn't work .. teach him how to clean up after himself ... take a weekend together and really scrub down ... tell him if his place isn't clean you're not coming over to visit ... that's just nasty .. !
I don't think it should be one way or the other with cleaning ... either you two will compromise and come up with something together or not ... don't leave him because you can't deal with it ... try to show him how much it means to you .. if he doesn't want to change .. or make you feel better .. he's not worth the time.
2006-09-06 13:44:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hope you realize that if you marry this guy you will spend the rest of your life cleaning up after him and if it bothers you already it won't get any better. Some people are as you say oblivious to the mess around them. You're not likely to change him so you'll have to decide which is more important to you.
2006-09-06 13:43:02 · answer #3 · answered by worldhq101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u either have to deal with it or leave him. if he doesnt mind his place like that u cant really do anything about it. U could clean against his wishes to make it suitable for u but then he might come to expect it from u and ur his girl not his maid. I guess just tidy what u can when he doesnt notice and hope he grows uup sooner then later..good luck
2006-09-06 13:40:21 · answer #4 · answered by lolli_pop69_2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not going to change - either get used to it or move on and date someone more mature.
2006-09-06 13:40:06 · answer #5 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋