I worked so hard to keep the relationship going and he didn't. I left because I knew I deserved better and someone who really wanted to be with me and work to stay together. I don't regret breaking up because it was the right thing to do, but I feel angry and dissapointed more than sad and upset. Some say I should be upset that I let someone I love go, but others say good riddance. Is it ok for me to be glad he's gone? And how soon is it appropriate to start dating another guy, who I know wants to be with me? I'm not trying to get serious, I just want to see where it goes?
2006-09-06 06:27:43 · 29 answers · asked by gurlshorti36 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's never easy to let go of the relationship. However, if you left him, there must be a good reason. Don't look back because one day, you would find the one for you. You will look back and be glad that you did what you did. Good Luck!
2006-09-06 06:31:54 · answer #1 · answered by revolou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a very emotionally healthy person. Truth. Don't listen to anyone who says otherwise.
There's nothing wrong with expecting your partner to be willing to put out equal effort into the relationship.
There's even less wrong with leaving a situation where the other person seems to place less value on your relationship than you do.
It's perfectly normal to feel angry and disappointed because he let you down by not caring the way you thought he would... and by being a bit lazy about your relationship. What's to be sad about? If he'd died... that would be sad. If he'd had a mental breakdown... that would be sad. Being lazy in a relationship should spark frustration, disappointment and a bit of anger if you ask me.
Sometimes it's necessary to let someone go for your own mental health and for the best outcome for both of you. Sounds like you're happier without having to carry the whole weight of the relationship and trust me... he'll figure it out eventually and hopefully he'll be able to be a better partner to someone else for the lesson he just learned.
It's fine to be glad or relieved that you don't have to struggle with this any more. The worst part is over... the break-up... and it's appropriate for you to start dating whenever you feel emotionally ready. Sometimes we prepare ourselves SO well ahead of time that by the time we actually end the relationship, we've already mentally moved on. Perhaps that's the case here. Date when you're ready and I wish you the best of luck :)
2006-09-06 13:38:00 · answer #2 · answered by thegirlwholovedbrains 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in this exact same situation back in May. It's ok to feel good he's not around. You made the choice. It's not wrong for you to feel good about your choice. You're supposed to. If you know you are over your ex and happy about your decision to leave, meet new guys and date for a while. Have fun. But also hang with your friends and have a lot of you-time. Then when you're ready, pick the guy who is most compatible with you and date him exclusively.
I was interested in an ex I had from before who was a really nice guy. He always treated me well and we only broke up over distance. I e-mailed him that same day and we began spending time with each other and are getting to know each other again. I don't regret a thing. I am much better off.
2006-09-06 13:33:23 · answer #3 · answered by Hpnotiq 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first about the relationship you ended: When you know you're trying really hard with someone and they arent acknowledging your feelings, its inconsiderate on thier part, and its ok to feel the way you're feeling because you feel like you went through all that for nothing, like it was a big waste of time. Just give yourself time to heal and then take time for yourself. Do things with your girls go out enjoy being single for a little while, and go out there not with the thinking "I need a man" because you dont, when another guy comes around that you think is a possible prospect then take your time and get to know him properly. If you try to get into a relationship with another guy RIGHT NOW then you'll just be trying to comensate what you lost with your last relationship, it isnt fair to you and definately not fair to the other guy. Give yourself a couple months and see how you feel, but in that time make you enjoy what life has to offer you. Good luck. :-)
2006-09-06 13:35:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel....I just did the same thing 2months ago.
-I was dating a guy who I really loved and I knew that he loved me too. We really were love with each other. But he had a drug and money problem. Ive tried 2 years to help him and nothing had changed. I broke up with him and took me two weeks to get over him. After I cried everyday I realized how much more relaxed I was. I wasnt stressing about him and his problems anymore. Ever since then ive been a better person to myself and much happier.
-Im sure there was a good reason that you left him. You really were not happy with him and you need to think about yourself first. Dont listen to what people tell you they dont know how you feel. You will see when you are ready to date other people, I think the sooner you go out and do it the sooner it will keep this guy off your mind
2006-09-06 13:34:50 · answer #5 · answered by TroubleRose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mixed emotions are normal. You're hurt that a guy you love didn't want to put effort into your relationship. You should say good riddance because you want someone who loves and respects you and thinks you're worth the effort.
As for dating someone else... you should wait at least a week or two. After that, you'll know when you feel ready to. It isn't fair to start a relationship with someone new when you still have feelings for someone else.
2006-09-06 13:34:48 · answer #6 · answered by ncladams 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong with how you feel. You can only feel what you feel - you shouldn't even ask this question because no one is you to experience what you are. Most people know what is the right and wrong thing to do - they just let that little voice chat and chat and chat until they are running in circles. The right time to start seeing new men is when YOU feel ready. Trust yourself - you know what is right for you. Take lessons from your past relationship to ensure your next one goes better
;-) Good Luck!
2006-09-06 15:04:45 · answer #7 · answered by priestesshp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh sweetie i just did the same thing. i love this guy so very much but i had to walk away. i am not sure why you did but from my experince i did the right thing as well as you. i am glad and upset at the same time. he was my life for the past three years but i knew this wasn't the way i wanted to live my life. so i did what was best for me. do i regret it? no way. look i am 29 and still have a long life to live and i am going to do so. i can't say how long you should wait to start dating because everybody is different, but for me i don't want to see anybody. i am not ready for that step in my life. i have to think of myself first before i can. it is time i took care of myself and worried about myself before i start dating.
2006-09-06 13:33:52 · answer #8 · answered by kitty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is prefectly normal top be glad that he is gone since he did not work to keep the relationship. You will know when you are ready... Even though you are not trying to get serious, the worst thing to do is is go out on a rebound. Just have a little time to yourself and you will know when .
2006-09-06 13:31:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's very mature of you to realize that the relationship wasn't right for you. A lot of people try to hold on to a relationship they ain't happy in. Thinking things will get better.
Only u will know when to start dating again. I found my man when I wasn't even looking to be with anyone. :) GOOD LUCK!
2006-09-06 13:36:45 · answer #10 · answered by steffiee_stylee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋