My sister refuses to work, she says that she is going to be a stay at home mom and there is no need for her to work. She is spent a lot of money on college, and took out loans, but does not even want to get a job after college. She says that her husband when she gets married will pay off her loans. I don't even get why she is in college if ALL she wants to do is be a stay at home mom, seeing that is something you can do without even a high school diploma. She does not even have a husband and makes her boyfriend pay for everything and constantly asks me for money. She said that some of her friends are stay at home moms and housewives. I have told her what a mindless, boring job it is, but she still won't get a job. Housewives leech off thier husbands and just sit around all day. What do I do?
2006-09-06 06:24:58 · 31 answers · asked by mcdholiday 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell her to get off her lazy butt and get a job.
2006-09-06 06:29:53 · answer #1 · answered by Rose 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, housewives do not just sit around all day, in fact my husband makes jokes about the fact that he hasn't seen me sit since my child was born.
On the subject of your sister, don't give her money if you don't want to. There is no reason for you to be forced to support her poor decisions (as in getting pregnant when she could not support herself or her child).
Also, why isn't your sister working if she is pregnant and broke? I worked all the way through my pregnancy and went back to work when Maya was three weeks old running an online retailer and taking Maya to work with me.I chose to stay at home because Maya had health problems and needed me.
Being a SAHM is a sacrifice, and you have to give up a lot of things, including living within your means. If your sis cannot live within her means then she needs to find a job, or learn to live without certain things. She is a mommy now, time to grow up.
2006-09-06 07:58:55 · answer #2 · answered by mayasmom1204 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, for one, I totally disagree with you. I have a college degree and I am a stay at home mother. I want to raise my children myself and not have to worry about them all day in daycare. I feel they wouldnt get the kind of love they need there. When I am done having children and they are all in school I plan on working, but for now this is best for my family. And my husband totally agrees. Being a housewife isn't mindless or boring for that matter. My 1 year old daughter keeps me going all day long and I enjoy all the love i get from her. Your sister wanting to be a stay at home mother isnt a bad thing but she does need to stop asking everyone for money. I also think she should work for now until she has children to raise.
2006-09-06 16:28:29 · answer #3 · answered by iluvtheyanks2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were making sense until that last comment. Housewives have it hard, they have to clean the house with quite a few people screwing it up on a regular basis (especially the husband in most cases). They also have to play peacemaker and disciplinarian, and that is just what I remember they need to do, I do know there is a lot more than that.
Your sister is definitely not realizing what goes into a marriage or being a parent (you either for that matter). Have her spend the day with a new mom just helping out and she'll see the mess she is about to get herself into, and that may convince her a job is necessary (if only because it would be easier than being a housewife). For that matter you should do the same, just so you can see what it would be like yourself. Spending two days with a new mother at her house helping out (when my mother went over to help her out when she broke her ankle) is what straightened me out on believing housewife was all fun and games. I immediately found a new appreciation for both the housewife job (because of how hard it is) and a new appreciation for my own job (which was nowhere close to that).
2006-09-06 06:38:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If your sister does not want to do anything for the rest of her life than that's her issue, not yours. Obviously you know that being a stay at home Mom means the partner better be bringing in alot of income & if your sister falls in love with someone who doesn't have much money, her plan will backfire. So, maybe her going to college is a good thing but on the other hand, you're not her ATM. Apparently, her boyfriend is & that's his decision to spend all of his money on her just because she's lazy and lives in a fantasy world. My suggestion: Don't add fuel to the fire, if she asks you for money, refuse. She wants to know how it feels to be supported by her partner than that's what her boyfriend can do.. NOT YOU!
2006-09-06 06:36:06 · answer #5 · answered by DiVenanzo™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your rude for the comment of "mindless, boaring job"
I am a stay at home mom, i get to raise my kids, and yes my husband supports us.
WE feel there is no real reason for me to get a job, and then turn around and pay someone Else to raise our children,
If you don't want to give her money, then don't!
Not everybody is the same as you, and yes you have the right to your own opinion, But theres no need to ridicule people for there choices..
I too have a collage education, but it will still be there when my girls go to school!
Some days money means nothing to me, maybe because we have little of it, but there are the days that when i see my girls smile and read, and learn to tie there shoes, that is more valuable than any other job!
2006-09-06 06:47:57 · answer #6 · answered by girlscanfishtoo 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. It's a demanding job to raise children. If your sister wanted to be able to provide for her children in case something happened to her husband it would make sense to have a degree to fall back on.
I do, however, agree with you that it is wrong to sponge off someone else because a person refuses to work. To purposefully incur student loans and other debt without the intention of repaying is wrong.
You always have the option of telling your sister NO.
2006-09-06 06:38:44 · answer #7 · answered by mjkinoh 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First of all, stop giving your sister money. Nobody is making you do this, so just stop. Second of all, your sister's boyfriend is an idiot if he keeps paying her expenses, but I guess that's his business. He will either wise up and dump her, or he will be stuck for the rest of her life. Third, when your sister finishes college, the student loan people will force her to pay back her loans. Her husband, IF SHE ACTUALLY FINDS SOMEONE TO MARRY HER, will not be the one liable for paying back her loans. Hopefully, reality will set in one day...
2006-09-06 06:30:38 · answer #8 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she have a baby at the present time? Sometimes women with infants feel a lot of guilt when it's time to go back to work - she may be stating that she's going to stay home out of fear and guilt. Are you or the father of the child planning to help her with the baby if she goes back to work? Be supportive, but don't give her money. That will just enable her to shrink further and further away from getting back to 'normal'. God bless!
2006-09-06 06:38:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you either have no children or are jealous of those who actually get to stay home. Raising children and making a home run efficiently is NOT a mindless job and to say so is closed minded. As for giving your sister money, you have a choice as to whether or not to give it to her but I think that you are well aware of that. I don't think your issue with her lies within what she wants, I think it lies within what you want.
2006-09-06 06:48:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough love. Just say no to her. You are a reliable bank to her, she knows she's onto a good thing, and she won't change her ways until you get tough.
I don't think the question asker deserves to be called stupid. She loves her sister. She is trying to help her. But, from experience I know the only way you can help your sister is to make her fend for herself.
She may lay the guilt trip but if you are strong and resolute she will have to grow up...
2006-09-06 06:27:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋