A co-worker, who is nearly 50, is in the process of adopting her first child from a orphanage outside of the U.S. The child is black and will be brought to a predominantly white community. He is 5 years old. They plan to change his first name to something that is currently popular. They also are planning to have him circumcised. I have no doubt that his standard of living will improve but it seems that his whole identity is being wiped out.
2006-09-06 05:35:26 · 15 answers · asked by Daphne 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I probably should have added that the husband involved with this adoptions is going along but apparently thinks his wife doesn't know what she's getting into. He has teenagers from a previous marriage.
I work with both of these people and the husband dumped his worries on me so I wasn't being a "busy body". I tend to agree with him but do not want to get involved in their issues.
2006-09-06 06:01:52 · update #1
The child's current name is Frank.
2006-09-06 06:04:02 · update #2
I think she is doing the right thing. She has to help him adjust to life in the US, which is radically different than anything he has known. He will be fine.
2006-09-06 05:43:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
May be a new start is what the child needs. Circumcision is sometimes done for medical reasons. A much different name can be a source of problems for little kids, other kids can be very mean and hurtful with teasing and name calling. Little kids can adapt to change remarkably well. The most important thing is that the child feels loved and accepted.
2006-09-06 05:56:30 · answer #2 · answered by miki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This kid will have to go through some serious counseling. That is a lot for a 5 year old kid to handle. I bet he doesn't speak English, how the hell are they going to explain this stuff to him? They shouldn't change his name and they shouldn't have him circumsized. Changing his name to Mike or whatever is going to be like making Kunta Kinte change his name to Toby. It's insane. On the bright side, being brought to a predominantly white community will be a bit of a shocker at first, but I'm sure the love and attention he's going to get from his new family will overshadow that very quickly. Good luck to the little guy, sounds like he's going to need it.
2006-09-06 05:42:31 · answer #3 · answered by jenpeden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay for a Black Child to be raised in a White community. Of course he will know he is Black and is different than every one else but that is okay too.
Changing his name to something that is "popular" and common does sound like she is trying to fit him in better but it doesn't seem like a good idea to me. Why would she want to change a Child's name, who is 5 and knows his name, an ethnic name which he was born with and is apart of him because it represents his ethnicity? And having him circumcised at 5?? Talk about horrific pain! What is she trying to do? Traumatize the poor baby? Sounds to me like his identity a big part of it will be wiped out. This 50 yr old woman needs counseling herself! Its a blessing she is adopting an orphaned child but a disgrace that she is trying to conform him to what she believes is "better".
2006-09-06 06:03:12 · answer #4 · answered by MeleeGyrl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its wonderful that they are giving a child a home. As for too much change, I think that he will adapt. The family has probably had some counseling and thouroghly thought this through, after all the adoption process can take a long time so its not as if these are spur of the moment desicions.
2006-09-06 05:42:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure this is not the first parent that has adopted and changed the child's name and circumsized him. He would then be her child. If she doesn't raise him enough in his ethnicity, he can always persue it as an adult. The important thing is that this child needs a mother and someone is stepping up to do the job.
2006-09-06 05:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by Velken 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on the child. Some kids would just take it in stride, others would have a hard time with it. I assume his life hasn't been easy, so he's probably used to dealing with stuff, and he will probably handle it fine, especially once he sees the improvement in his situation. I wish him luck.
2006-09-06 05:42:23 · answer #7 · answered by ask the eightball 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything is better than being in an orphanage. I think it will be a little weird for him, but he'll get used to it and be very thankful he was adopted.
2006-09-06 05:37:49 · answer #8 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
children adapt very easily and hopefuly these parents adopting him are smart enough not to make all of these changes in one day and i hope they are smart enough to keep his culture around him so he knows where he came from. now tell me if you would how it is any of your buisness what a co-worker is doing you sound very negative and very much like a bussy body life is a lot more fun when you dont spend all your time stressing about other peoples buisness.
2006-09-06 05:42:04 · answer #9 · answered by heather d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree about his identity being wiped out... I'd leave his name along.
I don't think it's too much change, he is only 5, he'll adapt. He'll do fine if the parents shower him with love and affection. Kids can tell these things.
2006-09-06 05:39:34 · answer #10 · answered by mom_of_ndm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋