I asked a guy from work out on a date (I'm married but I told him early in the date that I was), and it went really well, and at the end of the date he kissed me. Then every day after our date he's asked me to lunch, but never tried kissing me or anything, so finally one day I asked him if I could have a kiss. He looked at me like and alien and said "NOO!" and when I asked him why, he was like "OK fine" and then kissed me. What the heck is up with that? He still asks me to lunch every day, so I don't know if he likes me or not (I hope he does!). I'm 21 and he's 23, so he's probably still just immature and weird or something, but what's up with the kissing thing? Please, someone explain this guy to me!
2006-09-06 05:01:04 · 18 answers · asked by Jessica S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah, I asked a guy out. My husband and I'd marriage is fizzling out, but he doesn't know what I'm up to. You can read my other question on another post for that whole story.
2006-09-06 05:07:42 · update #1
I know you explained at what stage your marriage is at to everyone and probably even to your friend...
but perhaps, he still looks at the fact that you are STILL married and that's where he draws the line. It doesn't matter what condition your marriage is in, whether you're separated or waiting for the judge to sign off on your divorce decree; you're still married. You're keeping your dating activities secret from your husband so what's up with that? If you're not so concerned with the state of your marriage, why sneak behind your estranged husband's back? That doesn't make sense. Is it because your husband is the born-again Christian who is TOTALLY committed to your marriage and would do anything to save it?
I'm sorry, but the 23 year old in your question doesn't come across as the immature one. He's probably keeping his distance and maintaining a friendly acquaintance because he found out the kind of man you're married to and he feels guilty.
2006-09-07 00:41:25 · answer #1 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The simplest explanation is that he likes you and got carried away at the end of the date when he kissed you. He's been wracked with guilt since, as you are married,and he is worried that he forced the kiss on you.
When you asked to be kissed, he was still feeling guilty and thinking "But she's married, I shouldn't!". The fact that you had no inhibitions about the kiss then encouraged him to kiss you again; legitimised it in some way in his eyes, hence the "OK, fine".
Think about it carefully. He doesn't know where he stands, as you've said you're married but also want him to kiss you. It's giving very mixed signals and likely confusing him. You need to think carefully about whether you are leading this guy on, or if you are going to cheat (continue cheating) on your husband. Blunt words, I know, but honest ones.
2006-09-06 12:07:50 · answer #2 · answered by Weeble316 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be under the impression if you mentioned lunch and you were married, you were implying you wanted nothing physical. Did you misread the kiss? Doesn't sound like he is interested in more than a coworker/friendship type deal.Unless he brings it up, mark it as a sweet memory, keep business and pleasure separate, hold on to a friend and you can't go wrong with this relationship, mess up the one you have at home. Keep it simple and you will always have a lunch date with someone whose company you enjoy.
2006-09-06 13:21:43 · answer #3 · answered by MrsPTB4Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably isn't entirely comfortable kissing a married woman. What if your husband is big, violent, and jealous? He'd probably prefer someone without the baggage. But he must enjoy your company, maybe that's all he wants right now.
You might think about getting a divorce, your marriage doesn't sound very stable.
2006-09-06 12:08:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is freaked out by PDA with a married woman. He is probably OK with having lunch and being with you but what if your husbands friends walks by when you are kissing. Just a thought, try going somewhere very private and see if he behaves the same.
2006-09-06 12:07:19 · answer #5 · answered by curious caucasian 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you explain WHY you're a married woman harrassing a single guy??? What's up with that sh*it?? That's why he doesn't want to get involved with you, honey! He's not stupid. Also, why have a thing at work going on. Before you know it, everyone in the place will know and you or he might get fired. Cool your jets, hot mama, and bring it home to your man. Leave the guy alone, for God's Sake!!!
2006-09-06 12:04:43 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this guy is really not intrested in you .i think he probly likes you as a friend but he knows you are married and a kiss now and then makes you wonder what he is thinking.its a mind game honey that men play! maybe you should focus on your marriage and stop having lunch with him.some guys like to have their cake and ice cream too!
2006-09-06 12:18:19 · answer #7 · answered by rusty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a hoe for being married and asking a guy out on a date, your poor husband. I hope you don't have any kids because your setting a really bad example for them.
2006-09-06 12:04:42 · answer #8 · answered by horrorfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense intended really , but to be fair you should get a divorce and then do your own thing but not till then . Your husband may prefer that over being made a fool of.
2006-09-06 12:10:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably thinking, and indeed may be right, considering whether or not he is being set up for a sexual harassment suit. I know I would. If that is not your game, you are a silly woman who has not got a clue about life.................
2006-09-06 12:27:10 · answer #10 · answered by thomasrobinsonantonio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋