My guys family is WAAAAYYY bigger than mine and I want 'some' of his family in the wedding, but if I only have 1 sister, 2 neices and 1 brother in the wedding, but he has 1500 cousins, aunts, neices, neices baby daddies! and other folk who come up to you and say they want to be in the wedding what do you do?They are slightly 'ghetto' and I don't want anyone 'clockin-out' before the big day, plus I really don't want to hurt anyones feeling.
2006-09-06 04:56:13 · 8 answers · asked by ~2Sxy4u!~ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
ELOPE
That will solve the problem super fast.
2006-09-06 06:47:15 · answer #1 · answered by curious me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your fiance about this. It's his family so he should ideally be the one to tell them how the two of you feel.
Just tell his family that you two decided to have an equal share of attendants. You picked 4, and he has 4. Tell them that you two felt this was the most fair way to limit costs and keep confusion down.
Then tell them that you would value them more as a guest than as an additional possible headache in the planning stages. Phrase it however you want, but convey that you don't want 1,500 people for 1,5000 tasks. Besides, you would be inventing things for them to do, not delegating actual worries.
If anyone gets upset, gently remind them that this is your day, you need it to go smoothly and happily. You don't want to offend them, but you just can't see trying to stay involved with that many people for that few tasks. Most wedding duties are taken care of by the bride, groom, bridesmaids, and groomsmen. Ask them how they would feel as an attendant if other people were trying to take over their "jobs". I bet they would understand and back off.
Good Luck!
2006-09-06 05:22:11 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have your fiance explain that since his side has a lot of relatives, there is just no way you both can have everyone you want in the wedding. My finace's family is huge too! I have one sister and she is my matron of honor. I ended up having fiance's sister in law as a bridesmaid which is turning into a disaster.
People just need to realize that everyone can't be in the wedding party. But they can all attent your wedding if you want.
Realize, that when it comes to your wedding, not everyone is going to agree with your decision on things. But that is life. And your wedding day should not be about pleasing everyone else. It's your day, DO WHAT YOU TWO WANT!
2006-09-06 05:07:05 · answer #3 · answered by fallencupid79 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have them be servers or other tasks like passing out favors, making sure everyone has rice or rose petals to throw, cutting the cake...stuff like that. It's something simple they can do to help and feel "a part of the wedding" but it's not so HUGE a responsibility that if they screw up or don't show, someone else can't step in and handle it in two seconds. It will make them feel included, and set your mind at ease that nothing huge with go wrong on your big day.
2006-09-06 05:01:32 · answer #4 · answered by tamgigem08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that as guests they are a MAJOR part of the wedding. If there aren't enough guests, it doesn't look like a very celebrated wedding. Guests are the whole point for all the hoopla!
Make sure you have LOTS of singing in your ceremony...maybe you can gather the best singers into a choir! How beautiful would that be?!
Lucky gal you are to have so much family love.
2006-09-06 05:05:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Say, we planing on having a nice wedding but I can't afford to put all you in the wedding. But I would love for all you to come and enjoy yourselves. If they can't take that hell tell them the truth you don't wont them in your damn wedding.
2006-09-06 05:00:02 · answer #6 · answered by hotnpink 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pick who you want and don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings. After all, they sure aren't having a problem creating more stress for you.
2006-09-06 16:39:11 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them everything is already planned for who is doing what. "But I can't wait to see you on the big day. It's going to be so wonderful to have you there." Good luck!
2006-09-06 05:54:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋