how do you move on from bad things that happened in the past?

Question

i was bullied,called rele hurtful names, and i wanna move on from it as my past still haunts my daily life and im sick of feeling stressed etc -thanks-

Answer 1

Right - I have no qualifications for this BUT:

Bullies are COWARDS. They are SCUM. They should not breathe the same air as the rest of us. They also have issues but I am not bothered about those right now - that is for them to sort out.

NAMES alone CANNOT hurt you - so they say. But if someone tells you you that you are stupid or ugly or whatever enough times, you will start to believe it.

By realising that you want to move on, you have the battle half won already. You don't say how old you are. If possible, perhaps some sort of therapy might help you, but surrounding yourself with good friends and family who will help and support you should work wonders.

Perhaps you can volunteer to help people who have been affected by these SCUM like you. It will make you feel useful to be able to pass on your experiences to help others.

Think of all the good things in your life and try to focus on them and try not to dwell on the past - if this is impossible then your GP should be able to refer you to someone who can help.

Finally, DON'T LET THE BAST"*DS win by spoiling your life and your enjoyment of it.

You are BETTER than they are.

Answer 2

That gives you some understanding of how you've become the person you are. Now you understand, you can't change what happened, so don't let it affect your life anymore. You can however have more control of the day ahead, and every day after that. So get on with enjoying and finding meaning in your life. If you think you need assertiveness training or other skills, find out about support/courses. People have spoilt your past - don't let them spoil your future. Most of us have issues from the past that we don't fully resolve, and we have to let go and value our time now. All the best.

Answer 3

I went through the same thing in junior high and high school. It took me a long time to get over it. What made the connection for me was the realization that (a) they were just being a bunch of typical pre-teen and teenage @$$holes, (b) their opinions don't matter anymore, (c) they can't hurt me anymore, and (d) the only person on this Earth whose approval I really care about is my own. The important thing to remember is that YOU are in charge of you, so you're responsible for your own happiness and your own sense of well-being. Don't let them hurt you anymore. Accept it for what it was, forgive them because they really didn't know what they were doing, and get on with your life knowing that you're a better person than they will ever be. If it's too difficult for you to get through it on your own, talk to a counselor or therapist. No shame in admitting you need help and getting it, but being too prideful to ask for help when you need it is not cool. Good luck!

Answer 4

Putting it in a wider perspective may cause you to realize that all that happened to you, happens each day to others as well. It's one of those things where you're in good company. Viewing it in a more worldly perspective, compared to all else that's going on in the world, even at the level of individuals, will hopefull cause you to see it for what it is. Probably if you only knew how many others around you suffered the same past, and may still be enduring it, you wouldn't feel quite as alone in your uncomfortable thoughts.

Answer 5

Dont allow them to ruin your whole life, that was in the past and the past is something you can never change. Enjoy what you have now and concentrate on what is good in your life now and the bad memories will fade as you replace them with good things. Be a survivor and not a victim.

Answer 6

our past is part of what makes us who we are. it's not always easy to let go of things that have hurt and scarred us. try to remember that everyone has things in their past and present that somehow we must overcome. i still do, i still think of things that have hurt me and from time to time i dwell on it briefly..but then i just have to shake myself out of it and remember that the past can not be changed! try to find things that will make for better memories and happier times so that when those sad hurtful feelings start, you can change your thoughts to the better ones. if you are having such a hard time with things and really can't shake the anxiety and blues, please talk to a professional. maybe a little therapy and antidepressants will help you over your hurdle and find a new way to get along. try to keep your chin up ok? good luck

Answer 7

hmmm. i might suggest talking to someone about it. it sounds like it was kind of damaging. it probably also matters who was calling you these things. kids are cruel but family can be also. i don't know. if this is really affecting you, i would suggest seeing someone. keep in mind, though, if you do see someone to help you move on from this, that's what they're going to do. i was seeing a therapist last fall and it kind of ticked me off because i realized during the sessions that what i really wanted was others to validate my anger with things (i won't go into it) rather than try to stay my anger and help me forget about it. maybe i wasn't ready to move on....

Answer 8

have you ever talked to anyone about your past? if not do so, it makes things so much clearer, and these people that bullied you did this because they weren't happy with themselves so they are the ones with the problem don't let them pass that on to you,
enjoy your life to the max and try to put this to the back of your mind forever,
good luck huni x x x

Answer 9

Forget about it, don't think about it. Fill your life with things to occupy your mind and to look forward to. Concentrate on the future - you can make it what you want. You can never alter the past. Good Luck.

Answer 10

Well, if you don't it can just follow you and eat you up. I think we've all had a time where things have got to us or gone through something like yourself. I seem to think if you let it get to you then it's beaten you.

I'm sure it's a hard road for you but good luck.