am i wrong?

Question

i have a son who just finished basic training. we have not always been close but he wanted to stay with me until he goes to ft. drum, n.y. he had been staying with me for two weeks and he went off and got married. he continued to stay with me and the girl he married still lives with her parents. after a few days he stared bringing her over and lounging all over my living room all day everday. which means i had to go to my bedroom in order to relax also. well i got tired of sitting in my bedroom so i asked him dont they have plans to do something else thru out the day and night because im tired of sitting in my room. cuz i have a boyfriend also and we want to chill out too. so he went with his wife the next day and bought a car and then proceeded to lounge on my couch again that night. so i told him its best he gets a motel so he can chill out with his wife the way he wants. so now hes mad

Answer 1

i think that you were right. him and his wife shouldn't stay at their parents house the whole time. but i think they should buy a house. when hes out at ft. drum, n.y. where is his wife gonna stay?at home? i mean their married they should at least live together. if they're just gonna chill at your house the whole time then its kind of like they're still dating. part of the point of being married is living together.

yazman: just mind your own business the question was not about her it was about her son. maybe her husband died, maybe they got a divorce, maybe they believe in sex before marriage, and maybe it just happened on accident.

and to Julie s: she has a point. she wants some alone time without her son and his wife. i think that she sounds like a good mother. so just leave her alone. and she never said anything about getting it on with her b.f.

Answer 2

Why can't the four of you get along well enough to all hang out together. Plus, it's your living room, so you and your boyfriend ought to be hanging out there, so if your son gets uncomfortable he's the one that should go somewhere else. It's YOUR living room. Stay in there and be all cuddly and gross with your boyfriend and your son will probably complain about it, so just remind him where he is. Ask him why he and his WIFE don't go get their own place like real married adults!?! The only thing I think you're doing wrong is allowing yourself to be run out of your own living room. You don't even have to start any arguements with him. No words need be exchanged about it. Just relax in your own living room. Don't feed him, that will only encourage him to stay. It's YOUR living room.

Answer 3

I know this has nothing to do with the question, but don't you want to be close to your son? My mom lives with me and my guy, we all hang out together. Family really is most important in life and you should be trying to build a bond with your son. Why can't you relax with your son and his wife? Hiding out in the bedroom isn't the right route. They should be trying to start a life of their own, in their own home, but isn't there a small part of you that is happy having your baby boy around? It sounds to me that there is more to the story. Just remember, there will come a day when you will wish that you tried to connect with him. The 2 of you should sit down and have a heart to heart. He only has one mother and regardless of how many kids you may have, he is one of your babies.

Answer 4

Let him be mad. It's your house. You shouldn't have to go into your bedroom when they come over. Just sit there and stare at them. They will get the message. Your son needs to grow up. Maybe the Army will teach him how to be an adult.

Answer 5

Every adult deserves privacy, If He is really your son tell that you deserve personal time out with your boyfriend. If that won't work appeal to your daughter in law in a subtle way, tell her all she could gain but having having their own house, You don't have to quarell or arque with your son. Better still Let status quo remain, You don't like the heat leave the kitchen

Answer 6

You are right!! if he wants to get married he has to learn to be responsible. He has to get off this lazy a$$ and do something about. You cant be supporting him and his wife's leisure time at home. I would of kicked him out after he decided to get married.

Answer 7

No you are not wrong. You are actually spoiling him gal. Got married without telling you and now he brings her over to your house. He should either respect your house rule or go and get himself his own house.

You should not let him always have his way.

Answer 8

You have every right to tell them to leave the house. It is yours and you should not have to go to your room to relax. If they aren't happy with your decision then they can go to her parents house and see what they can get away with there.

Answer 9

I do not think you are wrong.If he can go get married and buy a car why can he get his own place for them.Sounds like hes taking avantage.I think you had every right.

Answer 10

I would question whatever he's told you. If he's old enough to be married, he's old enough to have his own place. I would also contact the parents of the girl. She may NOT be old enough to be married.