hello. okay, i hope someone out here reads this and gives an honest opinion. i started dating a guy in jan and a few months later we moved in with eachother. hes slighty older and was very nuts about me until i showed feelings back, guess he got cold feet. well, our lease was up and i moved out. i really thought our relationship was over, at the time he had intentions of moving out of state and things just seemed weird. i started seeing another guy i met. JUST hanging out, but we had sex twice. i sat here alone last night feeling terrible. i havent had sex with "the boyfriend" the first guy in a while, but did spend the evening with him yesterday and since i seem distance hes being his sweet self again. another issue, today is my birthday. who do i spend it with? i feel like a terrible person and almost feel i should stay alone. what should i do? break up with both, pick one, be honest? help!!!!
2006-09-06 03:37:38 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First Happy Birthday ... I really hope you have amazing day. Regarding your situation, you know you can not date both unless you are honest with both of them that you are taken your time and seeing other people. Also who do you have feelings for? You really need to take the time, write the pros and cons of each person and ultimately follow your own heart.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-06 03:40:37 · answer #1 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, just breathe, you are not the only one that has been had this similar issue. You are not a bad person! Ok, I can not even begin to tell you how many times I have answered questions, with a response that everyone loves a challenge. The biggest majority of people out there only want what they can't have. As soon as they feel they have you, it's onto the next challenge. It sounds like that's the way your ex is also. My opinion would be for you to move forward, not backwards. If he freaked that way over you 2 moving in together, chances are he will do it again as soon as the relationship progresses. Give the new guy a chance, or move on all together. You may miss out on something even better. What ever you choose, good luck and be strong!
2006-09-06 03:48:17 · answer #2 · answered by str8tequila80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what it sounds like, the ex-boyfriend is kind of using you as a quick fix or maybe second resort. At first when you guys started dating, he got really into the relationship; however, after spending a lot of time together it seems like he got kind of bored with it. Now that you have separated for a little while, he's interested again...
I would evaluate what you have with your current boyfriend because he could be the one who gets hurt the most out of this whole thing; especially since you are starting to think of another man. If you have feelings for the current boyfriend, then tell your ex- that you've enjoyed the time together, but he has already had his chance and that you've moved on. He should respect you for your decision.
2006-09-06 03:45:04 · answer #3 · answered by flyboop_2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you're in a real panic.
First, I'd say chill out, take some time out to clear your head and calm down. At least give it a few days. If that means not spending your birthday with a sex partner (because you can't decide who you really love yet), so be it. Have a few drinks with some friends and take your mind off of this.
When you are calm and have collected your thoughts, make your decision.
Personally, I don't think the 1st guy sounds up to much. Maybe, give the 2nd guy a chance to prove himself to you. Take it slow and build some mutual respect between yourselves. Respect or its absence is a great sign of how good a person is. Btw, how much do you respect yourself? It starts there!
B well.
2006-09-06 04:02:49 · answer #4 · answered by Karl X 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the 1st guy probaly got cold feet as living together can put a lot of tension and pressure on a realationship,if he is back to him old self take the time and sit and talk with him of where he think's your realationship is going and how he feels,or if you find that to hard to do you can get signs out of him from body language and just prob at him beat around the bush to get the answers out of him in the end,but will take a little longer,and if you still like him being his own sweet self again give it another shot but you will have to tread carefully for a while,as in if you beat around the bush job to find out you need to keep some distance from the other guy but not to much in case the 1st one ends up saying that it's not really working and then the other guy may have found someone else,try to avoid sex as that is where you can come into problems. Good luck
2006-09-06 03:52:18 · answer #5 · answered by s_d_wadham 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a commitment between you and the first one? If so you should give the relationship your all since you have agreed to be in it, but you do need to tell him how you feel and how he makes you feel now that you have showed him you liked him. If you are gonna work on the relationship then dint tell him about the other dude cause it will only make things worst. Maybe the moving in together so soon was a strain on your young relationship. If you aren't commit ed to anyone then keep doin what you're doin, have fun!
2006-09-06 03:45:37 · answer #6 · answered by superbad~honeydip 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guy number 1 had his chance. He is stringing you along and playing games with you.
Guy number 2 could be playing games, but it's difficult to tell. Sex is a sure way of messing up your mind as far as relationships go. If you withhold sex, and you and he still want to spend time together, then you know the relationship is real and you can give it a fighting chance.
BTW, Happy Birthday!!!!
Spend your birthday with someone who truly loves you! Family....... It's always a sure thing. :)
If spending time with family is not an option, go with what is best for YOU!
2006-09-06 03:46:20 · answer #7 · answered by BlueAngel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, hold up; you're a bit too free with your body! Sex is an intimate thing, and should only be shared with someone yu care for deeply. it sounds like you are using sex to get/hang onto someone. Doesn't work well!
You go out with the person you feel the most comfortable with. Both these guys, however, just enjoy your sex, nothing more!
2006-09-06 03:47:44 · answer #8 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wel to be honest if the first is being a distant person half the time maybe you need to rethink of any relationship with him at all.
you could end up feeling more alone if you continue with him.
why be alone for your birthday? go out and have agreat time with other friends and forget the jerks in your life. Maybe you will meet a rel guy who cares, wants to love you for more than sex and end up having a wonderful realtionship. Dont beat yourself up over this as it appears you are doing . Go for it gal there are better fish in the pond to catch than these two.
2006-09-06 03:44:06 · answer #9 · answered by apostle1938 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well technically, you and the "boyfriend" have officially split so you're really NOT obligated to spend your b-day with him. The choice is really up to you with whom to spend it with. But if it were me, I would chose the friend. Although you feel bad about what you've done, I wouldn't punish myself by spending my b-day alone and depressed. Go out, enjoy yourself and try to cheer up. But honestly, you can't have them both so eventually you would need to pick just one. Maybe your b/f backed off alittle because he got scared. Seems to me that maybe things were moving a little too fast for him. But if he's being sweet now, whose to say how long his sweetness is going to last.
2006-09-06 03:48:05 · answer #10 · answered by melcar12345 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋